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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DC with chicken pox - do I cancel her party?

73 replies

Bacardi101 · 22/11/2018 13:36

More a WWYD my 4yr old DD has just come down with chicken pox along side half of her class mates! It’s her birthday next Thursday so 7 days away she hasn’t got that many spots yet but do I cancel her class party for next week? I don’t think I’m going to get any money back and it’s cost me a small fortune! Help!

OP posts:

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 22/11/2018 14:32

My DD still had a birthday party with chickenpox. Her spots came out on the Thursday, her party was the Saturday. The venue was a hall, not open to the public, I told EVERYONE about the chickenpox on the Friday. The entertainer was happy to carry on and only two of the guests said they couldn’t come... one was a child with pregnant mum and the other was a child with a very poorly grandparent at home. We travelled to and from the venue by car so did not come into contact with anyone who wasn’t pre warned.

Everyone had a great time and there were no new cases of chickenpox amongst the guests within the next few months.

If it had been a public venue like a soft play place or DD had been unwell then we would have done things differently.

MamaLovesMango · 22/11/2018 14:35

The average of when it ‘ends’ is 5 days but many kids take longer and some kids still feel unwell after they’re all scabbed over. It’s likely the case that you’ll be cancelling right at the last minute.

I’d try and rearrange now. It’s not worth the risk and the stress.

WineIsMyMainVice · 22/11/2018 14:36

Mine were both over it within 7 days, and the children who have come down with it before her will be better by then also. The only thing is you should warn parents, and especially if there might be any pregnant women.
I wouldn’t cancel, no.

elliejjtiny · 22/11/2018 14:44

I would cancel or try to reschedule. My Dc3 had chicken pox for 10 days and was well all through it. My other dc had it badly and it lasted 2 weeks. Preschool wouldn't let my dc come from when his older sibling first got it until all his scabs had crusted over so he had 4 weeks off preschool.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 22/11/2018 15:01

It might depend on where it's being held as I think some places have stricter rules about things like illness than others. For example swimming and soft play would probably not let a load of spotty children in! So you might need to look at the terms and conditions of your booking. If it's a church hall it might be OK. If it does go ahead I would send something out to warn all the parents as you never know there might be a pregnant lady or someone might take a newborn along

Rachie1986 · 22/11/2018 15:44

What did the venue say OP?

SoupDragon · 22/11/2018 15:49

It’s stupid to think you will be fine in a week.

Why is it stupid to think something that, for me, happened three times?

Oysterbabe · 22/11/2018 15:58

My 2 were scabbed over within 5 days and feeling fine before then.

EbbandTheWanderingHearts · 22/11/2018 16:25

I had to cancel my dd's party due to chicken pox. Luckily, the soft play place I'd hired happily swapped the dates for two weeks later at no extra cost. Hope your party venue is as helpful!

RomanyRoots · 22/11/2018 16:28

Let the parents know and if they still want to send their kids they will.
When mine were little parents used to hold chicken pox parties as they preferred their dc to catch them young rather than adult, where it can be much worse.

Original poster

Bacardi101 · 22/11/2018 16:38

The party is in a large soft play centre open to the public so likely lots of other children will be there as well but they were great when I called them and I’m fine to re-arrange at no further cost which is a sigh of relief and I only have to give 2 days notice so will c how everyone is doing after the weekend... she has so many spots i stopped counting after 40!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 22/11/2018 16:42

That's great that you can rearrange it at no cost :)

PrincessScarlett · 22/11/2018 17:04

OP, I'm surprised the soft play centre hasn't advised you to reschedule. Your child may be fine but if all her friends have chicken pox and are at different stages of being contagious you only need one child to not be all scabbed over or about to come down with it due to the rest of the class and then you've potentially given it to any one of the general public that are there.

Also, I can imagine there will be some members of the general public that will kick off big time when they see 30 spotty kids charging about.

If the venue had been a village/church hall then no problem but I think you would be really irresponsible to go ahead at a soft play centre, particularly as there will be no extra costs to reschedule.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/11/2018 17:30

Rescheduling is definitely the right thing to do - especially as it is in a public place where the chicken pox could be passed on to so many other people - pregnant women, in particular.

pigsDOfly · 22/11/2018 17:43

Makes sense to reschedule really, given that you don't know how it's going to pan out for your DD OP.

I would suggest that you have a look at the NHS website and find out how dangerous it can be for certain people: those with a compromised immune system for example and women like my DD who was pregnant when it was going round her DD's school.

My DD had had all her jabs when she was a baby but even so she still had no immunity to it. Had she caught it there could have been serious health consequences for her unborn baby.

It isn't just a mild 'childhood illness' for some people.

Original poster

Bacardi101 · 22/11/2018 18:02

Yeah it’s absolutely the right thing to do to re-arrange I just need to judge how far I need to push it back if that makes sense I think I’ll go on worse case scenario and give her at least two weeks to clear it so her friends aren’t still poorly as well I’d hate to think I’d made someone very poorly

OP posts:

WendyCope · 22/11/2018 18:48

Well done Bacardi good result all round. I'd say two weeks to be on the safe side. Of course sort play don't want this right now! (In the kindest possible way) it would be a complete health and safety nightmare for them!

I am sure it will all work out fine!

WendyCope · 22/11/2018 18:49

*soft play!

mama17 · 22/11/2018 18:55

Can the venue re arrange the date considering it's out of ur control? If not then I wouldnt cancel just yet as ur child won't be contagious by then. Make sure all the parents are aware then it's their own choice wether they attend. I would still bring mine due to wanting them to have it earlier on in life. How rude are some of these comments to you. Your not stupid OP

Looneytune253 · 22/11/2018 19:02

They’ll most likely be ok in 7 days to be fair. I would just wait it out

Shopkinsdoll · 22/11/2018 19:12

We had this problem last year, we had to cancel. Maybe the venue could give you another date a week later?

xyzandabc · 22/11/2018 19:28

What type of party is it?
If it's at home or a hall where it's just you, then you could let everyone invited know and then leave it to them whether they come or not. I would happily take my kids to a party where the host had chicken pox as all of mine have had it and though I know you can catch it twice, I think it would be unlikely enough for me not to worry.

If it's soft play or a venue that's open to the public then if she's still not fully scabbed over by party day then you will have to cancel it.

Di11y · 22/11/2018 19:31

DD1 and 2 both got over CP in 5 days. Glad you can rearrange. it took 2 weeks for dd2 to get it and CP is still going round reception since before half term.

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