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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DC with chicken pox - do I cancel her party?

73 replies

Bacardi101 · 22/11/2018 13:36

More a WWYD my 4yr old DD has just come down with chicken pox along side half of her class mates! It’s her birthday next Thursday so 7 days away she hasn’t got that many spots yet but do I cancel her class party for next week? I don’t think I’m going to get any money back and it’s cost me a small fortune! Help!

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 22/11/2018 13:49

I would cancel. If you don’t, you need to alert everyone that may come that she’s got them currently.

PetuliaBlavatsky · 22/11/2018 13:50

Harsh replies here, I assumed OP was asking about the general duration of chicken pox not whether to have the party when contagious. Two of mine have had it and both were over and done with within 5 days of the first spot.
However, as it's a bit touch and go with only 7 days before the party I'd cancel now and rearrange for a later date.

Valasca · 22/11/2018 13:53

The danger is that they don’t always all come out at once. And plenty of people have the attitude that since the first wave crusted over, it’s fine and never mind about the couple of newer ones that still haven’t. Hmm

BrieAndChilli · 22/11/2018 13:54

when DD class at playschool came down with chicken pox a couple of weeks before her party I still went ahead with the party as it was in a private venue and everyone coming had just had the pox apart from my nephew who still came as my sister made that choice.

BrieAndChilli · 22/11/2018 13:55

sorry forgot to say that DS2 came out with spots on the day. everyone was aware but still came.

bonbonours · 22/11/2018 13:55

If you have the venue booked exclusively ie not a soft play where it's also open to the public, I wouldn't cancel but make invitees aware she may still be contagious. People who want to can then stay away. Those whose kids have it now, have already had it, or who are happy for them to get it at a young age rather than later will still come.

PrincessScarlett · 22/11/2018 13:58

Do you have any other children? If so, there is a 2 week window from one sibling getting it for another to get it. My eldest had it and then day 13 from eldest first spot my youngest got it.

If it is just your DD though I would perhaps inform all the parents if the party is still going ahead as it sounds as though half the guests will have had it anyway. Then they can make an informed decision.

However, you might want to check with the venue as if it is a venue that is continually used by general public rather than just you and your party guests they probably will not want up to a class full of contagious kids on the premises.

underneaththeash · 22/11/2018 13:59

I wouldn't cancel it yet. Two of mine were all crusted over by 5 days. DS2 on the other hand was in hospital still on day 7 of his chicken pox.

chumbal · 22/11/2018 14:03

I would reschedule!

My two were very tired after chickenpox.

Celebrate when she is better Smile

Maryann1975 · 22/11/2018 14:03

I think it’s a bit early to be cancelling the venue tbh. A week is quite a long time and a lot of children are back to school/childcare a week after starting with the pox, so you might be ok to go ahead.

Polkasq · 22/11/2018 14:03

I would postpone now, so that people know they are free to make other arrangements for that day.

WendyCope · 22/11/2018 14:05

The venue may not agree to go ahead.

RosieStarr · 22/11/2018 14:06

See if the venue will reschedule.

Whether you cancel/reschedule or not, you have to tell the other parents. Your child has a contagious infection and it’s only fair you warn them - some might not want their children, or themselves, risking it, even if you decide to go ahead. It can cause serious complications if an adult contracts it and they haven’t been exposed as children it can have serious complications.

PrincessScarlett · 22/11/2018 14:07

What venue is it OP? I think this will be the basis of the decision you make whether to cancel or not.

WendyCope · 22/11/2018 14:10

Rosie Yes, my DD got infected scabs and was in hospital overnight and then I got shingles and was in hospital for a month! It was very nasty indeed.

It is also a myth that if you've had it you're immune... you are not as it is a virus and lives at the base of your nerves your whole life and can be reactivated. I only know this now... (I had chickenpox as a child)

Wolfiefan · 22/11/2018 14:12

A quick google would give you NHS on this. New spots could come out over the next 3-5 days. Then they all need to crust over.
It’s stupid to think you will be fine in a week. Those of you who think I’m being harsh clearly have no idea just how serious this could be for some of us.

WendyCope · 22/11/2018 14:13

Wolfie I totally agree.

LightTripper · 22/11/2018 14:14

As long as you let everybody know she has it I can't see the problem with going ahead if she feels up to it.

I remember the year I had it as a kid I ended up having two birthday teas - the arranged one just for kids who'd already had pox and then another one for the kids who couldn't come to the first because they hadn't had pox yet.

I would think rescheduling or getting your money back is first best if you can, but if you can't and DD feels up to it why not have a party for those who've had pox (or want to expose their children, which lots of people do right or wrong)? If you tell the venue what the situation is they may actively prefer you didn't come and offer a different date instead.

Starlight345 · 22/11/2018 14:14

I also would wait and see. It is worth seeing if it can be rescheduled however if not I would see how she goes . People will be posting horror stories which are very real but also many Luke my Ds was much better once spots came out and clear in 5 days

WendyCope · 22/11/2018 14:14

My DD's scabs were infected around day5 btw

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 22/11/2018 14:22

It's worth thinking about the fact that even if they are scabbed over in 7 days she may well still LOOK very spotty, and this may worry some of the other parents of children attending, or the venue (or others at the venue if it's public).

Oblomov18 · 22/11/2018 14:22

These days kids seem to get it worse.

I can't really comment because it's been so long since both of mine had it: they were both fine, not that unwell, and the spots completely crusted over within a few days and were totally gone within a week.

It would appear that I clearly had a mild strain, and it's worse these days!

LizzieBennettDarcy · 22/11/2018 14:23

There are too many variables. One of mine was fine, had about 5 spots and was fine with it. One ended up in hospital with infected spots and unable to feed due to blisters in her mouth, nose and ears. She was ill for nearly a month. Third one didn't have many spots but was incredibly run down and tired for at least two weeks, if not longer.

Have her party when she's able to enjoy it. Hope she's better soon.

WendyCope · 22/11/2018 14:26

Oblomov I think you are right. I live in Spain and had a 'gung ho' attitude to their policy of vaccinating. How I wish I had vaccinated. It does seem to be far worse now.

I believe they're introducing the vaccination as standard in the UK now too.

The hospital rushed DD past the waiting room. It is seen as super serious here... any venue here would not take the booking. Plus, imagine the pictures!

SillyPsychicAcid · 22/11/2018 14:30

Rearrange or cancel it.

Her class is going to be going down with it like dominos. Even if she’s no longer infectious, someone else there will still be at that stage. Plus sounds like far chunk of them will be too ill to attend anyway.

Party venue might be more likely to be happy to rearrange til sometime in January than til the week before Xmas by the way.

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