To think this isn't a child behaving badly?

[ernieelephant]

My 5 year old DS is a lovely, polite and kind child. He is in year 1 and is struggling with school. His teacher says that he is bright but he struggles with confidence to complete his work and is constantly seeking reassurance and help. He attends a state primary, in a class of 30, so obviously the teacher cannot give him the time that he is asking for. This has resulted in things escalating to the point where he is becoming upset and not wanting to even try to do his school work anymore.

His teacher has said for the past couple of days that he has been unwilling to try any of the work and if it carries on he will be put onto the behaviour system. My heart breaks for him as there is clearly an underlying problem that the school aren't dealing with. He is struggling and asking for help, but instead of receiving it, it is being branded as bad behaviour. This is now impacting his behaviour at home and causing him to say that he hates going to school

Surely this is a child needing help not a badly behaved child?

30 kids in a class for 5 yr olds. Jfc on a bike.
20 is considered a stretch in our totally average state school in Australia.
My dd has ASD and she would disappear into a crack in the floor in that environment.

Yes it's disgraceful Eponymous.

I had this with my ds, he had also been placed/sat next to one of the kids with behaviour & learning issues for 6 months.

I had to ask that he be sat somewhere else as he'd done his turn and it was detrimental for ds. school couldn't say it was a discipline issue as I was told prior he was placed there to encourage good behaviour & help. So may be worth checking who he is sat with.

I taught him at home 30 minutes each nite

Apologies

It was really upsetting my ds that he was behind, so we had a chat and formed a battle plan that we both had to be committed to, and signed a felt tip contract. It also helps to meet the teacher and find out exactly which bits are the issue and make a note.

You start of with 10 minutes and increase it, I got the relevant key stage books (couple of quid each) I had to keep positively reinforcing that he can do it and things like usain bolt didn't just wake up and win a gold medal, it takes training and patience etc.

It was painful at the beginning due to confidence in himself, he messed about, took ages/dawdled, but I persevered it's took a year but he's back on target now, his confidence is improved and he learnt the value of putting the effort in.

Good Luck

Sorry should say my ds was about 8 at the time so 10/15 minutes each night, would be more suitable for a 5 year old.

are there not classroom assistants who would spend time helping him? i thought that was their job? sadly it sounds like a small school would suit him better but i know that is not always practical

I would also recommend a tutor. My DD had one for just over a year and it really really helped her confidence. Shop around as there are all sorts.

Just read the last couple of posts. I agree check who your child has been seated with. The right children on his table can really make a difference.

Unfortunately ks1 is like this now.

Ds1 needed a lot of reassurance. He got it from reception teacher. Now, with all the changes, Ds2 wouldn't have got that, I don't think.

1. You must speak to teacher first. I wouldn't want him put him on a 'behaviour plan' at this early stage. There are innumerable things that could be tried first, as many pp's have suggested.

And for those things to be documented.

2. You do need to address the 2 issues of: a)how this has escalated and he's getting upset. b)And now won't even attempt it.

The whole situation needs calming down. but he needs to be told calmly and firmly that he simply must attempt it. he must . At least try.

the teacher does not have the extra time needed to placate and assure him all the time and he needs to be told that, in simple terms.