AIBU to rehome my dog! Help please

[TweedAddict]

I have 3 dogs- I love them all so much. They don’t go without anything, however one of them has a serious health condition which takes a lot of management to keep in check. Part of this health issue is she gets a toxin build up in her blood system and this confuses her, this then comes out as aggression. It’s the same sort of thing when you uti- one side effect can be confusion.

We’ve always managed to control and manage the 3 dogs and they have rubbed along together nicely, even with the odd outburst from the ill dog. The issue now is our collie has had enough and is fighting back (rightly so). All its been before is a bit of barking and stance off- but it’s now escalating to actual biting from the both bitches.

Our older dog is fine- he doesn’t get involved and keeps to himself. We’ve had a dog behaviourist in, but because it’s a health condition it’s not something we can control, the behaviourist said we manage the dogs fine and it’s not us or them cause the issue.

The collie would be the easiest to rehome- the ill dog costs £200+ for meds alone then there’s the management of her as well (diet- dark spaces-head pressing etc)

It’s stressful trying to keep the bitches apart as 99% of the time they play and cuddle together and are fine, then it just turns for no reason. Ie ill dog can be asleep, and collie stretches out.

I’m at a loss as to what to do, I don’t want the collie bullied, but I love her so much she’s amazing, all the dogs are amazing. I don’t have anyone who could her on, ie friend or family so I’d have to rehome her somehow else. How you do this I don’t know, how can I make sure she’s safe and loved? This is so crap,

I’m so sorry. Is there no way to manage the symptoms of your sick dog better? Are there specialists for whatever condition it is?
Can you separate them more?
I can’t think of a nice way to put this so I’m sorry. How long are you likely to have this poorly dog? Is it a long term condition or is it likely to escalate very soon?

Can you mildly sedate the poorly one? Only when she shows sign of agitation or is getting a little antsy.

Surely the side effects of her illness can be managed.

Speak to the vet before you consider rehoming either.

It sounds both you and the dog would be devastated.

Rehoming her won’t make her feel safe or loved! It will make her wonder where her family has gone :(
I appreciate it’s difficult but you need to figure out a way to manage this at home, baby gates, crates, whatever it takes.

How old are they all, OP?

Is there any way of keeping them separate?

What’s the prognosis for the ill dog? Being blunt, if she’s that ill would the kindest thing be to have her PTS? I agree you need to do something as the last thing you want is for the collie to start getting fighty with other dogs because of this.

Honestly- don't pass on a dog with health issues like that. The chances of her going to someone who can manage her is slim - I can imagine her being put into a shelter and then being destroyed.

Can you not manage them with baby gates so the collie is away from the others at all time?

Failing that, honestly I'd have her humanely pts. Hard for you but better for her than being passed from pillar to post.

Can you not separate them?

I totally agree with Wombat tbh, she will not find a home in a shelter, nobody would want a dog with health issues like that. I personally would have her PTS if it making her life miserable.

Without knowing details of the medical condition, it’s also hard to give advice but is the ill dogs quality of life really good? I’d be very concerned about an illness that has a primary symptom of aggression. I am the biggest dog lover going but if there is agression, that’s a real danger to you, other people you encounter and your other dogs. How bad are we talking here because I’m not sure the risk it poses is worth it. I’m sorry. This must be hard for you.

Yes, I will be blunt as well. When you mentioned head pressing, I thought this was a sign of extreme pain in a dog. The kindest thing you could do would be to put your sick dog to sleep, rather than continuing to have management and medication problems. Easy for me to say, I know, I'm not in your shoes, but I think you need to give this serious consideration, rather than rehoming one of them.

OP is talking about rehoming the healthy dog..not the poorly one.
I'm sorry OP, I had the same as one of my dogs grew elderly. We just kept them apart, walked them separately..was tough though, they did still fight occasionally and we got better and calmer at dealing with it when it happened. How old is the Collie and how long have you had her? I tend to agree with pp's about pts for the poorly one. Good luck..it's a really sad situation x

Sedating the poorly one isn’t really an option but will double check with my vet. She has a shortened life expectancy but she’s only 2 so looking at having her another 5+ years. However it is a degenerative issue.

Ill dog says a specialist every 6months or sooner if anything is of a worry. She’s on the strongest meds they are willing to give.

The aggression is like a light switch, they will be happily sleeping then ill dog wakes suddenly- ie a nosie then can go from there. It’s from confusion.

I have been keeping them aprart the past few days, but they used to all being together and one is separated they cry for the others. Plus I worry about not giving them all enough attention.

I just want to make them happy. Ill dog had bloods done today to check her, they go to specialist so should know something by the end of the week

Tweed what a difficult situation. One thing that came into my head is, if it's degenerative, are you and your DP safe? Even if there are no kids in the house, is it possible that ill dog could one day go for you? (I say that as the previous owner of a rescue who would quite happily lunge at the face of anyone who annoyed him).

Ill dog is fit and healthy 99% of the time, the vet said today she’s the best she’s ever seen her, ie good weight, healthy coat. I mentioned the head pressing as that’s one of the signs when she was really bad, which we managed to sort with the meds and she hasn’t done it since she was diagnosed.

Ill dog is 2, collie is 5, old dog is 9.

Had all dogs since pups.

YANBU to think these thoughts, it sounds like a really tough situation. But you strike me as the kind of owner that truly loves their dogs and wants the best for them. I know if any opportunities come up to help solve the problem you will try them. Speak to vets and a second dog behavourist may have better ideas than the other. Maybe you could muzzle the poorly confused one for the time being when they want to cuddle not as a permanent thing. Good luck OP x

Yes ill dog could start snapping at us, so far no issues whatever in that department, behaviourist said we were very much in control in the dogs. We don’t have any young children, a 13 year old, but he lives with his dad.

Once bitches start fighting it can be very difficult to stop them, hard as it maybe, rehoming the young healthy bitch would probably be the best for her but very hard on you, but make sure you do it responsibly, by either going through a breed rescue or by really checking the person out, don't just bung her on Gumtree, but I'm guessing you wouldn't as you sound sensible.

It doesn't sound like the health issue of the dog can be fully managed if she becomes snappy though... How often do her levels deteriorate?

Which dog is the actual aggressor here? Can you rehome a dog with a history of aggression? Genuine question - that might add a layer of complexity.

Are you at a point where the behavioural issues combined with the medical issues might make you consider PTS?

Personally I would put to sleep the unwell dog as I couldn’t live with the unpredictability.
I also don’t think dogs with serious issues tend to have as good a quality of life as the others assume they have.

Failing that I would keep them seperate at all times unless supervised.

I don’t think ill dog is at the PTS stage as yet, I have family and vets (I have a very good relationship with my local vet) on orders to monitor me with her. The last thing I want is me holding on to her when she’s suffering.

Her bloods levels can fluctuate depending on a number of factors- how tried she is, what she’s eaten (prescription diet- but she’s fussy and prone to stopping eating) how much she’s drunk. We havnt had a bad episode for a over a year, a few days off colour here and there.

The main issue is collie has had enough of being picked on, it used to be a stand off then they would settle. Collie has had enough and now stands up for her self, ill dog doesn’t back down. Ill dog always starts it, collie never does.

Porto systemic shunt with hepatic encephalopathy?

Has she been assessed for suitability for surgical intervention?

Ok, so thinking it through as an outsider, and forgive me if I seem cold (I'm not, I promise - I have a cat on my knee and a dog on my foot so I'm invested in keeping animals as part of a family), what is the reason for the ill dog to be starting on the collie all the time?

What's triggering her initial attack behaviour? Is it that she's feeling ill? Feeling vulnerable? Need for space? Resource guarding?

A bad relationship with the collie? Behavioural cues you guys as owners haven't been seeing (hey, it happens) and which need to be spotted, looked for and redirected / retrained?

Attacking for unpredictable and therefore potentially dangerous reasons?

So if, in a 2 year old dog, you haven’t had an incident due to ill health in over a year, then it is a behavioural and personality issue. The illness is sort of beside the point other than in meaning the middle bitch is the one most easily rehomed. Sadly, some dogs just don’t get on (and this is often an issue with multiple bitches). So sad as it is, and I would certainly struggle to rehome a 5 year old, other than living with it and separating them, then yes, it’s the only other real choice.
If you got her from a decent breeder, that should be your absolute first call. If not, then breed rescue.

As someone who has had to give up a very much loved and adored dog i totally understand where u are coming from.

The vet and the behaviourist both told me to ignore my feelings and do what is best for the dog. What do they need , not what I needed. How upset I was going to be versus how bad his life is right now.

I cried and cried when he went.

You need to look at what is best for your dog. Hugs and hugs for u as I know this kind of situation is just hideous to be in.

If it makes u feel any better. After months and months of work with a specialist and being re homed to a very specific dog owner my springer is finally happy. I miss him every day.

Honestly if she’s so unwell that even the strongest medication means she can lash out at those around her then I would junk seriously about PTS. It’s bloody heartbreaking to even consider that with a dog so young and my heart goes out to you. But if it’s like this now and will only deteriorate?
If there is different treatment, a way to separate them as needed and address the underlying issue then I wouldn’t consider PTS.