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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to rehome my dog! Help please

40 replies

TweedAddict · 20/11/2018 18:55

I have 3 dogs- I love them all so much. They don’t go without anything, however one of them has a serious health condition which takes a lot of management to keep in check. Part of this health issue is she gets a toxin build up in her blood system and this confuses her, this then comes out as aggression. It’s the same sort of thing when you uti- one side effect can be confusion.

We’ve always managed to control and manage the 3 dogs and they have rubbed along together nicely, even with the odd outburst from the ill dog. The issue now is our collie has had enough and is fighting back (rightly so). All its been before is a bit of barking and stance off- but it’s now escalating to actual biting from the both bitches.

Our older dog is fine- he doesn’t get involved and keeps to himself. We’ve had a dog behaviourist in, but because it’s a health condition it’s not something we can control, the behaviourist said we manage the dogs fine and it’s not us or them cause the issue.

The collie would be the easiest to rehome- the ill dog costs £200+ for meds alone then there’s the management of her as well (diet- dark spaces-head pressing etc)

It’s stressful trying to keep the bitches apart as 99% of the time they play and cuddle together and are fine, then it just turns for no reason. Ie ill dog can be asleep, and collie stretches out.

I’m at a loss as to what to do, I don’t want the collie bullied, but I love her so much she’s amazing, all the dogs are amazing. I don’t have anyone who could her on, ie friend or family so I’d have to rehome her somehow else. How you do this I don’t know, how can I make sure she’s safe and loved? This is so crap,

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 20/11/2018 20:39

Have the sick dog put to sleep. They're suffering fgs.

BarbarianMum · 20/11/2018 21:19

I'd PTS too. I dont think the current situation is fair on the other dogs and I think the sick dog would be unhappy/confused if you tried to keep it separate fron the others.

harriethoyle · 20/11/2018 21:41

What about a cloth muzzle on the poorly dog, so it can be worn all the time? If she's not able to bite the collie, collie won't bite back. A friends dog wears one all the time because he's a total trash Hoover and has nearly died several times after ingesting nasties...

user1471465525 · 20/11/2018 21:48

The collie has been with you longer and is fed up with being snapped at by a poorly dog .I don't think it's fair that you would want to rehome the collie .

Wrongwayup · 20/11/2018 21:57

Some of you have read wrongly. It isn't the ill dog that will be rehomed. Collies are very sensitive as they are so intelligent. Very difficult situation. Roughly where are you?

Aquamarine1029 · 20/11/2018 22:15

Honestly, op, I don't understand your line of thinking at all. Rehoming the collie would be very cruel, and the ill dog will just turn on the old dog if the collie isn't there. The sick dog needs to be put down. If an illness is so severe that it causes that much distress and aggression, that dog is miserable, confused and suffering. The dogs age is irrelevant. It is chronically ill and needs to be released from this torment.

raindancemumma · 20/11/2018 22:18

This is a truly horrible situation, and I really feel for you :(
If the diagnosed dog isn't going to be rehomed, perhaps the collie should be, for its own sake? Although collie is obviously loved and attached to you, it is still quite young and might, given time, enjoy living stress-free in a different home. I think re-homing would be utterly heartbreaking but might be the kindest option for your dog in the long run, unless the youngest dog is likely to be PST due to escalating behavioural problems. Sorry, not very helpful at all, but you have such a difficult problem to solve...

PersonaNonGarter · 20/11/2018 22:24

What a sad situation but the ill dog should be PTS. Sorry, I know that is hard.

tabulahrasa · 20/11/2018 22:25

Is there a pattern to when the ill dog is aggressive? As in you mentioned her waking up...

Because if it’s more common then, the easier solution would be to make them sleep alone rather than having to keep them apart at all times.

Purpletigers · 20/11/2018 22:26

Please don’t rehome the collie . You’ve had her longer, you’re all she’s ever known . I’d seriously consider pts for the aggressive dog . What kind of dog is it ?

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 20/11/2018 22:57

100% Agree with wolfiefan

If it's like this now and she will only get worse... I love my dogs and it would break my heart but in your position I would be considering putting to sleep. It is horrible to think about it for a dog so young especially if still having more good days than bad but it may not always be the collie that cops the brunt of it. What happens if she turns on you? Or a random person/dog/child you pass on a walk? If she went for them could you safely Intervene quickly enough to prevent injury? If it was you at home could you overpower her without getting bitten? I know it's awful to think it and it's not her fault but these are real risks you have to consider and weigh up.

TweedAddict · 20/11/2018 23:24

Thank you all for your advice and words. It’s a horrible situation to be in. The reason of me thinking about of rehoming the collie is she’s easy and is “anybody’s”. She settles very quickly when moving home or off on holiday- they go to home boarding. I know she would/can cope with a new home. However we are in the very early days of this decision, and I do need to speak to my vet in more detail as to ill dogs problems, her blood results when they come in and long term care. I won’t keep a dog stuffering- she’s so fit and active right now, we’ve had her on a great road and I hope that’s not all going to come crashing down.

I just need to do the best for my dogs, all of them. I’m just not sure what that is yet

OP posts:
Shadow1234 · 20/11/2018 23:25

I also think that if you were to rehome the collie, the ill dog might turn on your older dog instead. The collie has been with you longer, so it would be more heartbreaking after 5 years to suddenly be put in a new environment. I am not normally one for suggesting putting animals to sleep, but if the ill dogs illness is degenerate, the meds are really only helping to ease his suffering and give him a bit more time with you, but there is no guarantee how little or how long he will live. I do agree with others, that in this instance, I would have to consider putting him to sleep. (and i do not say that lightly). Obviously it is a heartbreaking decision, but it seems the most sensible all round. I do feel your pain though - what an awful situation to be in.

Greyhorses · 21/11/2018 06:57

We had an epileptic dog who was lovely most of the time but after a fit became quite aggressive and disorientated and would lash out. Our other dogs weren’t safe and neither were the children so he was put to sleep. When he wasn’t siezuring he was an active fit young dog but those awful days where he would have fit after fit and not have a clue what was going on for days after were awful.

Very heartbreaking because it wasn’t his fault but the right decision regardless and I don’t think that sort of life is right for any dog.

Sometimes mental health in dogs is as big an issue as physical health.

PumpkinKitty82 · 21/11/2018 07:54

You say they’re fine 99% of the time and that they cry for each other when separated so why not just leave them to it ?
No need to re home if they’re otherwise happy most of the time .
The collie would twig eventually and may distance herself instead of you having to do it. They’re very smart

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