Christmas meal deposit - AIBU?

[Mumofcats5]

Hi all
I’ve organsied a sports team that I’m in’ Christmas team dinner. Everyone all very eager and paid their deposits to me, which I have then paid to the restaurant.
It’s 2 weeks away and I’m trying to get menu choices in. Someone has just said that they can’t make it. Which is fine. Except this person has then private messaged me to ask for their deposit to be returned.
Now, AIBU, but a deposit is non refundable right? Should I give this person back their £10 which would leave me out of pocket?

Tell them to contact the restaurant directly themselves.

I'd probably say 'it is with the restaurant, I'll see if your place gets filled on the night and if not, and they return it, I'll send it back to you but as far as I can see, it is non-refundable'.

YANBU. I've paid a deposit for a similar Christmas meal. If I don't go, I don't expect to get the deposit back. Nobody (except a CF) does. Of course as a goodwill gesture you can ask the restaurant but you should not feel guilty about saying no, it's non-refundable.

F&B manager here...we would allow you to use the £10 as credit against your final bill with more than a weeks notice but wouldn’t refund the money, so worth asking the restaurant and if you won’t be out of pocket you could return it, if not it’s the non attendee’s problem not yours.

We have a Christmas lunch booked and it specifically says on the menu that only deposits of the numbers who attend will deducted from the final bill .
So if you book for 20 at 10 ph deposit and only 15 turn up then only 150 deposits come of the bill not 200. The restaurant keeps the other £ 50.
I would have thought everyone paying a deposit would know this and the fact they private messaged you says they do too

No. That's the nature of deposits: you change your mind/can't go, you forfeit the deposit.

She knows she's taking the piss, hence messaging you privately rather than just tagging it on the end of her message saying that she 'can't make it.'
Don't do any running around on her behalf, if she wants to query it with the restaurant let her crack on. You've done your bit.

Glad I’m not the only one who thought that git

Tell them you’ll ask the restaurant if they are willing to let you change the number and use her deposit towards the bill. If they will give her the money and take the £10 off yourshare of the bill. It may still be early enough to change.

Because I’m a grumpy sod whose fingers have been burned many a time with these sorts of meals - don’t ever volunteer to organise anything more than a ‘this is where we’re going, turn up if you fancy it’ kind of meal. Even those invite a flurry of whiny demands to change stuff.

Enjoy your meal but don’t take it on again would be my advice.

Did you get any further with it op?

If it can be returned fine but why would you even consider refunding it if it meant you were going to be out of pocket?

Check with the restaurant, if it’s non-refundable, just let everyone know. Don’t be out of pocket yourself.

does she not understand the point of a deposit?

Get menu choices from those who are coming, check if any+1s if that's allowed., or any other add ons or dropouts. Speak to the restaurant about their rules. At this notice I think they may accommodate a numbers change. If so she can have her deposit, if not no.

That is what a deposit is.
Ask her to deal with the restaurant direct. They will explain and it will save you the hassle.

I’d just say ‘the deposit has been paid to the restaurant so you’ll have to deal with them directly to get it back’.

Just reply "sorry you can't make it. I gave all the deposit money to the restaurant last week. I assume it's not refundable. Do feel free to call them to ask directly to check"

There's no point telling her to contact the restaurant - they don't know the person from a bar of soap, and it could for all they know be a con. I'd just call and ask as they may be okay with it, given it's 2 weeks to go and a busy time of year. But it's within their gift, and if they won't, then tough luck for the non-attendees.

“Oh, the deposits have already been paid but I can give you a copy of the receipt if you want to ask the restaurant if they’ll refund?”

Everyone knows deposits are non refundable.
I wouldn't even reply to her. You've paid deposits to restaurant so no longer have it.

I assume you've told restaurant 19 are attending not 20. Really you have enough to organise withiut having to chase up whether restaurant returns unused deposit or not from last minute Annies. Just ask the question when you ring in with pre orders. Person can wait but they ought expect to have lost it!
The only time I've deposit so late refunded after paid to venue, has been when someone else took my place and they persinally paid me back direct.

Hi all, I’ve gone back to her and stated that the restaurant have the deposit and I’ll check with them. End of drama.

I just thought it was odd that someone would think they could get a deposit back....

I wouldn’t think it was that unreasonable to check with two weeks notice tbh

Next time state that the deposits are non refundable to save you the hassle

I don't think the request was odd - with that much warning, some restaurants would let you change the booking, so it's worth asking. But of course you shouldn't be out of pocket if the money is lost.