To try guided meditation with my anxious 5 year old?

[KrispyKremes]

She's on a waiting list with CAMHS, hopefully won't be too long.

She has good days and bad days, today being particularly bad, so I'm feeling crappy waiting anxiously for school pickup.

Have been thinking of ways we can help at home without it seeming too intrusive and stressful for her.

I see there are quite a few guided meditations for children on YouTube and might do one tonight at bedtime to see if it helps her, but is it just piling more stuff on her?

Would love some input please?

Hi Krispy - I'm a yoga teacher, so not a mental health expert but I would say I don't think it can do any harm at all. Make sure they're really kid friendly - lots of 'imagine you're on a lovely sunny beach and there's a beautiful rainbow', that sort of thing. There's also special breathing you can do together. Lie on your backs with your hands on your tummy and feel your hands push up to the ceiling as you breath in, then fall back to the floor as you breath out. Once you've got her used to that, see if you can slow the breath down, and even notice the tiny gap in between each breath - inhale, gap, exhale, gap. Keep it all friendly and light hearted and fun. Don't rush things - 5 mins every day is probably better than an hour a week. And good luck with CAMHS, it must be so stressful for you. sending love x

Thanks for your reply Holly.

I think today's anxiety was down to that she has a performance this evening she's worried about, but it was manifesting s a different worry altogether. Hopefully after her show she'll b e feeling proud of herself and happier and maybe in a good frame of mind for us to listen to something together or practice our breathing.

Look for relax kids stuff, their cds and books are really good and utilise child friendly visualisation and calm breathing techniques.
They are specially designed for children and are lovely. They also have classes.

She’s 5. What sort of “performance” can’t be cancelled?
Limit such stresses.
Ensure some spent outside and some kind of exercise to blow off steam.
You say you’re waiting anxiously for school pick up. Kids pick up on that. You need to model how to not let small things worry you and how to handle big things as she gets older.

You could try hypnotherapy- but make sure they are an experienced, qualified practitioner who specialises in treating children.

There are guided meditations for children on the Headspace app - you do have to pay though.

My kids often have a guided sleep meditation at bedtime, there are loads on YouTube. They are not particularly anxious but do have nightmares at times and then get more agitated about going to sleep. They find them really helpful.

I would imagine that your anxiety over whether she has a good day or not is making her anxiety even worse, as she is picking up on the fact you are anxious too.

You need to help her find ways to manage the anxiety she feels. She needs to see that what she wants to achieve is achievable without too much difficulty. Maybe build up to a show in smaller steps. Performing in a show at 5 would make most children anxious whether they suffered anxiety or not.

I have done night time meditation with dd2 since she was 4 and it really helps her to focus and sleep.
There are loads of videos on YouTube. She is 6 now and likes Jason Stephenson, Cory's conscious living and anything mermaid related. There are also songs guaranteed to make you fall asleep that dd1 listens to which are great.
It took me ages to be able to lie down and listen and not fall asleep though.

Why would it be putting more on her? Just suggest it as a nice activity to do.

Are you familiar with Cosmic Kids yoga? Plenty on YouTube and some lovely child orientated guided meditation. Great to do together. All the best to your little one and you.

Personally I don't think it would do any harm. Take it slowly at first. Perhaps a minute at a time and build gradually. Asking a 5 year old to sit for long periods will bore them and you lose them. Make it fun leading up to it and afterwards.
It goes without saying you should do it with them and involve all member of the family if possible.

I'm anxious because I'm not with her. I'm miles away, so her picking up on that seems a bit out of the realms of possibility. Although you're making me wonder if I could maybe act too pleased to see her after school.

Her "performance" tonight is the last class of term for her sport and the parents are watching the class to see what they've learnt since September. This class is the highlight of her week normally and I know she's going to feel amazing after I've seen how much she's improved. Her teacher is 100% aware of her struggles and does lots to support her.

So to her it feels like a show but really it's just her normal class with mums in the room, I'm going to make sure to stress that more after school today. I don't want to let her avoid everything she's nervous of, or else at the moment we wouldn't be leaving the house.

I think at 5, i'd me limiting the stress. She surely doesn't have to do the performance?

Too much pressure is not a good thing. How does the behaviour manifest?

It's a great thing to do with her anxiety or not! It's a lovely thing to do together and teaches her mindfulness, which is a great life skill.

But why are you anxious? What’s so worrying? She’s at school and safe.
If you have an anxious child then why subject them to things they don’t have to do that increase anxiety. Tonight perhaps you need to get her feet measured or go and buy a gift for someone. Oh what a shame. You’ll miss x. Never mind.
By building things into a big deal in your head you will make your child more anxious. They pick up on how you feel.

So your anxious because she is away from you at school? She is certainly picking up on that. Children are perceptive and smart at reading body language and taking cues from how others act.

I would be looking at discussing the worst case scenarios with her, what she thinks might happen that's making her anxious. Once verbalised discuss what she would do if those things happened, being prepared should it not go how she expects it will help reduce the anxiety.

Personally however she is not going to become less anxious until she sees you working on reducing your anxiety.

@Wolfiefan

She went into school crying and I don't like the thought of her being sad and not with me. I know she's safe and I know, rationally, that she'll have had a nice day.

Have you got kids? Surely you know what it feels like to leave them somewhere when they're upset.

We have a lovely 3 minutes yoga routine that is magic! Turns everyone from anxious worry billies to giggling calm children. www.google.fr/amp/s/www.yogajournal.com/.amp/lifestyle/good-morning-yoga-poses-jumpstart-kids-day

And I have had huge benefits from using Bach Flowers with my children and with me.

And I can sympathise with your feelings. There have been times that I have been unable to detach myself from my children's feelings. I don't believe that it makes me a bad mother.

Yep. I have kids. If they were so upset over a performance as to be breaking down into tears at aged 5 I wouldn’t make them do it.

Look up EDMR butterfly hugs/taps on youtube, really good for children

Jeez, anxious was the wrong word. This isn't about me.

She went into school crying, I know that she was fine within 5 minutes, but it doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to seeing her this evening. I wasn't standing at the gate waving wiping my own tears.

I'm never anxious to send her to school there's nothing to pick up on. I love her school, I help there frequently, I'm friends with the staff, she loves it there. She's having problems with emetophobia and when she's nervous about something else the phobia takes over her. Today she was beside herself the clothes she was wearing were going to make her too hot and make her sick.

I know it wasn't really about the clothes, but she doesn't, it was about the sport tonight.

I came to ask about meditation and got some helpful answers, and then some MN psychologists getting on my "anxiety" - I just want to see her smiling and know she had a good day.

Wolfie I'm guessing you don't have an anxious child though?

She was crying about going to a zoo she's been to 20+ times on Sunday. And a restaurant she's been to countless times before on Saturday.

We went to both. She had a WONDERFUL time at both.

It's a little off centre to what you are talking about but there's a programme on BBC named something like the doctor who gave up drugs. There's an episode about using meditation for children with ADHD and it's so successful its amazing. I'd watch that if you aren't sure it's the right thing. Having a positive mindset going forward with it is important.

Dd tends towards anxiety so I often use the YouTube Cory's conscious living meditations for her. She loves them.