To try guided meditation with my anxious 5 year old?

[KrispyKremes]

She's on a waiting list with CAMHS, hopefully won't be too long.

She has good days and bad days, today being particularly bad, so I'm feeling crappy waiting anxiously for school pickup.

Have been thinking of ways we can help at home without it seeming too intrusive and stressful for her.

I see there are quite a few guided meditations for children on YouTube and might do one tonight at bedtime to see if it helps her, but is it just piling more stuff on her?

Would love some input please?

I'm not being a MN Psychologist. I was merely pointing out that you stated you were anxious wondering if she was having a good or bad day and no matter how normal you think you are acting she will pick up on how your actually feeling.

I feel I gave you helpful advice, children will never always be happy and as adults it's our job to ensure they have the tools to face the world. It is unrealistic to say to her that she wont be sick or see vomit. It is much better to discuss with her the worst case scenario so she has the tools to deal with the situation should it arise.

That is what you should be working on developing to allow her to have a happy childhood where anxiety does not over rule every decision she wants to make.

Thannks MotherForkinShirtBalls (LOVE the name! My favourite show)

I'll give it a search.

What happens when she cries? How do you respond?

We use guided relaxation with our DC, starting from around that age. They also do it at school, and also make stress diaries and worry dolls for anxious children.

@HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone

Thank you. We are, along with the CAMHS and SENCO.

Her seeking constant reassurance that she isn't going to vomit is a form of avoidance so we don't. We're well aware of the best ways to hep her get through this. We talk about how it's the body's way of getting germs out, it won't hurt her and she'd be better quick etc etc.

I'm hoping something like a youtube meditation could help alongside everything we're doing.

I'm a MH nurse and a mum of an anxious 5yo.

I've thought about guided meditation, I don't see why it would do any harm.

What I do do (and seems to help) is support her in playing through situations. So, my dd was very anxious about going to school in reception year, we got a playmobil school set and had some special time with me and her while she played through a little girl going to school and what might happen. Initially this helped me to understand what sort of things she was worried about (she might get told off for something, she might not have someone to play with at break). Then we were able to play through what to do if that happens (I.e. getting told off isn't the end of the world, how to find someone to play with or play with her sister).

I also have conversations that help her to understand her feelings. So we talk (particularly at bedtime as this is when she is most relaxed) about having a worry feeling in her tummy, getting her to describe how she sees this. Then we talk about what can help - having a cuddle, thinking about something else, telling a grown up, remember that feelings don't last for too long and will go away).

I also talk about how lots of people feel worried and it is ok.

I actually encourage dd2 to keep doing activities she enjoys every though she sometimes feels anxious as I want her to have the experience of overcoming her anxiety and feeling proud rather than feeling that the only way to overcome her anxiety is to quit. Sometimes it is too much though. We have a deal with her brilliant ballet teacher that she doesn't have to do performances, but can learn a part and do it if she wants, 2hich has been very helpful.

Neither of mine are this anxious and (as an ex teacher) I’ve rarely met a child that worries about so many things.
I would seriously think about taking things down a notch. Doing fewer non essential things that make her anxious. Talk less about anxiety. You do seem stressed. Kids do pick up on that.

I think if your child is struggling and frequently upset you’d have to have a heart of stone not to feel a little worried about them. Yes, you need to manage your own anxiety so you can best help your child and not worry them further but basically blaming the op isn’t on. I think a child struggling like the op describes would be a worry for the most laid back of parents.

I also think that stopping doing the things she is anxious about would just reinforce that she is right to be wary of them and needs to avoid them. That won’t help her in the long term. What she needs is plenty of opportunities to see that sometimes she worries but it turns out fine so she can call on that experience the next time she’s anxious.

My DD really likes this guided meditation for bedtime:
www.amazon.co.uk/Lake-Children-Sleep-Meditation-Relaxing/dp/B004UKNOXQ?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I’ve been reading the “Nightlights” stories book to help my DD with some of her anxiety. It’s been great for running through non stressful situations, practising relaxation techniques and learning “affirmations” which I’ve heard her repeat to herself when needed.

www.amazon.co.uk/Nightlights-Stories-Encourage-Confidence-Creativity/dp/1904292887/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ref=plSrch&keywords=nightlights+book&dpPl=1&dpID=51XQ7YPQX1L&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1542735443&sr=8-1

@BumsexAtTheBingo

Thanks so much for understanding.

We're just back from the class.

She was so scared before we went that she was physically shaking.

So we went and watched the other children. Which I could see was making her so so torn. She was desperate to join in but just so scared. She even said to me "my heart is said I'm not joining in but my worry won't let me"

Her teacher is incredible and she let DD show me by herself what she's been learning at the end and then even the bigger girls from the next class came and helped for group work.

A good compromise but I can tell DD feels disappointed in herself.

I was looked at the Relax Kids, Pants of Peace book today for my 5 year old. I meditate and I think he'd find it really helpful. He's meant to be learning mindfulness at school. Not sure if it's the teacher or the course but he's not getting much out of it.

Hi OP, I know you were asking about meditation, but I just wanted to mention a book that really helped my DS called "What to do when you worry too much"
www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-Worry-Much-What/dp/1591473144
My DS used to suffer from anxiety quite badly when he was younger and this book helped him with strategies to cope. It is very child friendly.

DS and I do a Headspace meditation session every night before bed. Calms him right down, sometimes I fall asleep and he sleeps much better. It can't hurt. Hope your wee girl gets a CAMHS appt soon, it's horrible having to wait

KrispyKremes bless her little heart.
My eldest is quite a worrier, she always has to talk through scenarios endlessly beforehand to come up with coping strategies as BumSex said.
She used to be extremely shy and hated doing anything in front of parents at the same age as your DD. She would shake and cry and stare at the floor. She was petrified of anyone noticing her. Gradually, gradually, gradually over the years with persistence from her teachers and with repeated opportunities to get up in front of people, she's managed in tiny steps to get better. She's at high school now and spent the first year not speaking to any of the teachers. And then she has just started doing a club that involves public performances. She was petrified before the first one but did it anyway and has discovered an absolute passion for performing in front of an audience. We've talked a lot about how proud we are that she was so scared and did it anyway. It's been amazing for her confidence, her self-belief has rocketed. I really think very gently and gradually exposing them to things they are scared of (irrationally) is the best way of helping them through.

Arabella thank you for the book recommendation, I've just got a copy.