to be annoyed about headmistress closing school car park?

[Pagetta]

My son goes to breakfast/after school club 7.30 until 6. I work full time and husband is based 200 miles away (military) so the extended clubs are an absolute godsend.

The headmistress has asked that parents don't use the teachers carpark (directly in front of the school) for pick-ups drop-offs. However I must admit that if I drop off before 7.45 I do use it because I have the two year old with me and I can leave him in the car while I drop off. It’s not just a time and convenience thing, it’s also that the other option is to park opposite the school over the road, which although not super busy at that time is a fast country road. Crossing it with a toddler and 6 year old is not easy before lollipop lady starts!

At that time there are generally only two cars parked in the car park, and it is very very rare I see another teacher arriving during drop-off. If I get there after 7.45 when teachers start arriving I don't use it so as not to get in their way, and if I don't have toddler with me I don't use it as its unnecessary.
If I’m honest I really don't see the harm.

However the headmistress has obviously got annoyed - whether it’s just with me or with lots of people I'm not sure (there are only 3-4 parents drop off before 7.45) - as this morning when I got there she had closed the gate so you couldn’t pull in.

This has really annoyed me as I understand it’s a teachers car park, but when no teachers are there what's the issue?
Also, there is a Pilates class at 5.45pm in the school hall every night, and they use the car park. So its ok for them to use the car park AFTER teachers go home, but not me and a few others for 5 minutes before they start?

I don't want to be THAT parent that kicks up a stink - maybe I am being precious? I do get that at the end of the day it’s my problem not theirs – rules are rules – but this does seem likes rules for rules sake. Could they not say "its a teacher's car park from 7.45 until 5.30"?
This is mostly just a rant as I know I’ve not really a leg to stand on – but AIBU to be a bit hacked off about this??!

Thousands of parents manage to wrangle a 2yo along with other dc on the school run. Why do you need the special privilege? Just do what other parents do. If that means getting the pushchair out of the car for a 30second trip across the road. So be it. If you need to carry your screaming 2 and 6yo across the road, then that is what you need to do. Park a bit further away and free up some space outside school. Your legs won't drop off you know.
(Awaits massive drip feed about SEN children and being disabled).

What is it with people and parking? Honestly - you're not suppose to park there, and it being 'convenient' for you doesn't make it okay.

When schools do this, it's usually because parents are filling up all tbr places, and teachers arriving afterwards have nowhere to park and are late and lose teaching time.

They are there for teachers, not parents.

Just because it's convenient for you doesn't mean you get to break the rules, because you deem yourself too important.

I have three under 6. I wrangle them across and down and up roads. You just learn to cope. Suck it up.

I disagree with most on here.

If you are dropping off before the lollipop lady on a busy road at 7;30 am, when it is pretty much still dark, and the car park is empty and safer, then yes, I would be irritated that you can't use it.

I guessing the real problem lies in people arriving after 7:45, trouble is, the head can't say yes ok if you arrive before 7:40, but not after, as then someone would have to police it. Easier to close the gate first thing.

So it does seem a bit OTT, but I can see why, and don't think it is going to change

Perhaps the headmistress wouldn't have blocked the gates if you would have just asked out of courtesy but because you didn't ask permission they thought, sod it I'll close the gates instead.

Headmistress? Is it independent?

you are dropping off before the lollipop lady on a busy road at 7;30 am

Do you take your own personal lollipop person with you wherever you go? Or as an adult is it reasonable to assume that you know how to cross a road?

Our school had to close the gates too because of blatant abuse of their kindness by selfish parents. I don't blame them.

The headmistress has asked that parents don't use the teachers carpark (directly in front of the school) for pick-ups drop-offs. However I must admit that if I drop off before 7.45 I do use it because I have the two year old with me and I can leave him in the car while I drop off.

Did you ask if an exception could be made at the time you drop off, or did you just ignore the request and carry on doing something they had specifically asked all parents not to do?

FFS, OP posted half an hour ago that she was unreasonable and still you pile on. Put your pitchforks down.

Paraphrasing here that ever so smug and not-very-clever phrase
Don't be THAT poster; oh wait, you already ARE...

Headmistress? Is it independent?

Why would you think that?

Both of my DC are at state schools with a headmistress.

It’s not just a time and convenience thing, it’s also that the other option is to park opposite the school over the road, which although not super busy at that time is a fast country road. Crossing it with a toddler and 6 year old is not easy before lollipop lady starts!

That's the only other option you can think of?

How about parking much further away and walking to school from the car?

OP most of the posters on here are harsh and I don’t agree with them. I don’t think you are That parent.

Why not pop in and have a word with the school, apologise for breaking the rule, and very politely explain your predicament. Ask whether there’s any chance you could use the car park very quickly when it’s quiet. I think it is a perfectly reasonable request. Of course you don’t want to hoik your little one out of the car and across a busy road. Is it a paid for club? Perhaps you could offer to pay slightly more, if appropriate?

This would annoy me too - I don't think that you are that parent from having thoughts that disagree with a school policy.

It would make my morning much earlier and more stressful if I couldn't leave my preschooler in the car for bfast club drop off. I'd actually consider a childminder in that scenario I think

Do you take your own personal lollipop person with you wherever you go?

I have lived in a rural area where crossing a busy country road in the dark is dangerous. I obviously have to do it at times, but if I had the choice of an empty car park, or getting two small children over a busy country road in the dark, then it is a no brainer.

Honestly, I do think some people have never left the city. Worra - maybe the road doesn't have pavements? many don't. I can think of a school, in the middle of a village, but on a blind corner, on a busy road that runs stright through the village. no pavement on either side of the road. Choice - park in school playground, or park opposite down another side road and carefully, remember no pavements, walk down the road and cross the road in front of school.

There is a lollipop lady there because it is dangerous for parents and kids.
Maybe it is the same school as op!

Maybe you could discuss the issue with the HD and come to an agreement?

YABU to call her a headmistress - what's wrong with headteacher? (Or are you Joyce Grenfell?)

I think the issue is you’re making a blanket rule personal.

As a BC user I’ve seen car park carnage in the teachers car park in action. Parents flooring it to get to work on time vs still not in work mode teachers is a recipe for disaster.

Our local school have always asked parents not to use the carpark, this was followed by the majority but even so a child was nearly knocked down outside. Now the gates are constantly shut (unless an emergency) and a member of staff is paid to be outside.

If there are likely to be children still leaving the premises, your right, others shouldn't be able to use it either. You need to take this up.

Why don't you just explain your circumstances? Most likely headmistress will say no cos then shell have to make an exception for everyone, and I know that there is a point where if someone happens to hurt themselves it's the school's fault. Can't hurt to ask extremely politely though

You may not see the issue but the head clearly has one and so you need to respect that. Or call and ask for permission to park there if you have your 2 year old with you- basic manners really.

It's an insurance thing.

Plus if she makes an exception for you then she would have to make an exception for everyone.

It's a staff car park, so if you're not staff you can't use it.

Yeah what's wrong with 'headmistress'?

If the gate was closed for the first time this morning, how do you know it’s going to be an ongoing thing?
And how do you know it was the headmistress?
I could have been a delivery person closing it after themselves, or maybe they needed to keep the carpark free today for a specific reason.
It may well be open again tomorrow.

FWIW, when I use breakfast club I always use the staff carpark for convenience and it hasn’t ever been an issue, I’m there long before most of the teachers start arriving. Although it is only a small school so there aren’t that many parents using the breakfast club, especially that early.
Just check again tomorrow, but if it’s still closed then so be it.