To complain about how midwife has handled incorrect information RE social services

[Mothership241]

Very long back story, I'll link the thread which explains the history leading up to now. I no longer have access to that account but have found my old post in legal matters. I received some wonderful advice and a lot of support which meant the world to me, I didn't think I'd be back here again having to go over old wounds, but here I am.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/3089286-Pregnant-after-having-child-removed-at-birth

The long and the short of it is I lost my first born baby to adoption after he was born. I was very young (in my late teens), vulnerable and subject to a horrible period of domestic abuse by a man with a violent history. I went through hell but eventually got out and went on to create a better life for myself in another city, years later I fell pregnant again with my now partner, I referred myself to social services after the advice of some of you lovely lot and asked to to be assessed in my new circumstances. I had a glowing assessment of which the outcome was no ongoing involvement from SS needed. There were no concerns about me and the risks associated to that relationship and my life during were now historic and not current factors. My DS2 has thrived in my care and his health visitor thinks I'm a very good mother, she too has no concerns. Life is good.

The senior social worker who handled my assessment raised her own concerns about the handling of my case where I lived before, also unfounded and misleading comments about myself made by that SS department during the adoption proceedings with my first born, she raised these concerns with her managers whilst assessing me and looking over my file and they were in agreement that the alleged facts about myself (centered around my mental health) were misleading and untrue. I've never been diagnosed with a mental health condition and never been known to mental health services, but the LA in my old area had falsely documented that I supposedly have "deeply entrenched mental health problems" but didn't elaborate on what those were because they simply didn't exist.

I digress, I'm now happily expecting my third baby and attended my 16 week antenatal appointment today. Due to the fact I've had SS involvement in the past it's routine for a midwife to request information from the local authorities who hold information on you, I was upfront about the past and gave the details of the senior social worker who I last dealt with in my local area here as well as the details for the local authority where my son was adopted years ago, all this was given at my first appointment with this midwife.

Today (16 weeks) I go for my routine appointment and she told me she had now requested the information from both the local authority who placed my first born for adoption, and the local authority where I am now where I had my most recent assessment.

Local authority here got back to her with their response which was that there's no concerns and all is fine, but the local authority (who documented false information from many years ago) got back to her with supposed concerns about mental health that have given her cause for concern. Midwife told me that the way they worded their summary RE my mental health gave them much cause for concern so she's taken it to the safeguarding midwife and something about mental health to see how they wants to proceed.

Now I'm upset and stressed because there is no need for this.

When I left my appointment I contacted my last social worker here and told her what my midwife had said (she is now in a managerial role)

She said my midwife was informed by our local authority that there are no concerns about me nor my mental health so the information she received from the LA from years ago is irrelevant and shouldn't be held in favour of the new information, she also reminded me that she'd already raised concerns with the other managers here about how that particular local authority wrote things in my files and made false claims that they couldn't elaborate on or explain (I gave her full access to my medical records and the claims about mental health were proven to be inaccurate)

Social worker (now manager) reassured me that they personally would not be looking to assess me again, midwife should have been satisfied with the recent update our local authority provided which was "no concerns" and that should've been the end of it. She told me not to worry and said she cannot for the life of her see why the midwife was running with the older information.

After speaking with her I then emailed my midwife and told her I'd spoke with SW who reiterated that there was no concerns about my mental health and attached her personal desk contact number if she wanted to clarify what I've said.

Midwife responded and thanked me for letting her know. I then asked whether this would be the end of the matter and she replied saying no and she has to wait to hear back from the 'safeguarding midwife' to see what she personally wants to do about the historical claims of mental health and she will let me know what will happen next.

Now in the grand scheme of things I shouldn't have anything to worry about because nobody here has any concerns whatsoever, but I'm not happy about the fact the midwife is paying more attention to the historical information than the most recent assessment which was conducted with full access to all of my medical history and a positive outcome of no further involvement was nessecary.

It feels as though my most recent assessment is being over shadowed by things that should have never been written down in the first place, and the midwife is ignoring all of the new information.

I found the assessment process very stressful and do not want to be subject to anything of the same during this pregnancy, least of all when there is no good reason for it.

Due to all of this I no longer feel comfortable seeing this midwife and feel as though she's putting me under undue stress, I've spent the rest of the day worried despite my old social workers reassurance. The midwife can still (if she wants to) request mental health assessments and such like. My life has changed tremendously over the years and I'm in a very good place, I feel as though this has been a real knock to my confidence and faith in the services which were restored after my last dealings with them.

I want to enjoy my pregnancy in peace, I have a 10mo DS in my care who's thriving and I don't need any bloody mental health assessments.

AIBU to request a new midwife and potentially make a complaint.

I can see why you’re stressed about this OP, but I think the midwife is trying to do her job. It sounds as though you feel she is against you - and given your history I can understand why - but actually she is trying to ensure that the correct support systems are in place for you. Sadly even perinatal mental health is not given the priority and urgency that it deserves and do if there are any concerns we, as HCPs, try to raise them early.

It is great that your more recent SW feels there are no concerns. It is likely this will all come out in the wash. But midwives have to be sure they have all the information to make judgements like this, and yours feels that she needs to involve the safeguarding specialist at this point in time. At this stage she doesn’t have enough information to believe the newer report and disregard the older one. Give her credit for her due diligence. She is trying to look after you and your baby - you are all on the same side.

I hope that this is resolved quickly so that you can go back to enjoying your pregnancy. And that you are able to work with this MW or to find another with whom you feel comfortable. I think you would be unreasonable to complain, though, as it is professionals like this who keep all of us safe.

I could also add that concerns about your mental health aren’t an accusation - they’re a concern and a flag that you may need additional support through this pregnancy/post-natally. That’s all.

I don't think you would be unreasonable to request that where possible you didn't see this midwife. Though In my area you never see the same person twice anyway!
She was doing her job thoroughly and that's OK, but of course it makes it harder for you to have a positive relationship with her. And if there's no particular reason that you need to keep seeing her over others in the practice, then it sounds like it would be better for you, if you have someone else.
Again though it does sound like she is just being cautious and possibly inexperienced in risk assessment / perhaps she had been involved in someone's care where outcomes weren't so good.

I offer no advice except understanding. Local authority support wrote in a referral to social care (I requested because my child was threatening suicid) my child was the product of a rape. My child wasn’t and as much as I dislike my child’s father he isn’t a rapist. I was beyond furious.

Social care quickly saw through It and could see from all my records no mention of a rape was present. Still no idea how that information was put in the referral. Shattered my trust in local authority for a long time. That referral is still in my child’s file despite a retraction I demanded.

I do see your point of view, I think because of my history I find the prospect of assessments more worrisome than somebody who hadn't been through the system.

I don't think she's against me per say, it's just upsetting that she's focusing more on the historical information than the new information that says all is OK.

Upon reflection I do think I'd be unreasonable to make a complaint, I'm just anxious and unhappy that I may have to go through it all again when there is really no need.

@FourRustedHorses I'm sorry that happened to you. Its so frustrating isn't it, I would be devastated if something like that was kept on file despite being untrue.

When I spoke to my old social worker today she said that my previous local authority really needed to update their files because its not right that I'd face this every time I went through the maternity services, she's also advised I request all of my files from them to see what exactly they are keeping and why.

They can’t remove the referral or that line from their records so a retraction is added into the file.

The person who did the referral was shit absolutely shit though. They sent me texts talking about other people (clients?) meant for someone else.

I made a huge formal complaint about it all and they were sacked (small justice)

The only way that statement made it to my file was it was a lie or copied and pasted from someone else’s file.

That person was a liability to mine and everyone else’s privacy and dignity.

I hope you get justice too over your files and there’s is an update added to them.

With your midwife I’d go with it. You have a social worker on your side and that is a blessing.

I remember your last thread! It's so wonderful that you have your second child with you.

I have some experience of safeguarding allegations and I don't blame you for being nervous and ultra vigilant.

However, I think this is arse covering on the midwife's part. I think it's unlikely anything will happen and if it did, the latest SW would back you up.

I don’t have any advice, if I actually read your other thread all the way through yesterday, and it was heartbreaking. I was so genuinely pleased that your DS was able to go home with you when you were discharged from hospital, and what a lovely person you sounded.

Hope everything works out ok. I can see why your anxious given the history of what went on previously. I’m sure nothing detrimental will come of it as your last assessment wasn’t that long ago really, and all was good and your circumstances I assumed haven’t changed.

I agree, the midwife is doing things by the book. It reallybshoukdnt cause you any issue at all but I can see why you are anxious.

I've just sat and re-read my old thread from start to finish and remember what a difficult process that was for me, in particular the waiting and not knowing what was going to happen.

Subliminally that was at the forefront of my mind and why it unsettled me.

Upon reflection I can understand to a degree why the midwife would be ultra cautious, when she requested information from both local authorities I think my current city's was the shortest feedback consisting only of "no concerns" whereas I think she had a more in depth reply from my old area about alleged mental health so in hindsight she would need more info to balance everything.

She's now aware of this local authorities findings in regards to the information held by my previous area as I went into it with her in more detail, so hopefully the safeguarding midwife with liase with the social worker management here and be satisfied that there is no need for extra involvement.

The midwife did say I could read what the previous LA had written to her if I wanted to but I decided not to as I still find it upsetting to be reminded of the things they said and how they treat me.

My DS is thriving and well cared for, he's my entire world and everybody knows it. Nobody has any concerns about him. Hopefully it'll be cleared up and I'll be able to enjoy this pregnancy in peace.

I agree with the others, the midwife is trying to do her job & gathering all the past info, will help help her do that.

For now, try to view this as she's trying to help you as I honestly believe that's what she is trying to do. I totally understand how hard this must be for you but try not to worry. Best of luck x

Sorry, I have to ask, but why such a hooha now? I don’t understand them asking about SS if you have a child living with you and their needs are met? -I only have the one. Sorry if it’s a dim question!

@Letsmoveondude I'm equally as confused.

No concerns have been raised about my DS or myself, there's been nothing whatsoever to give current cause for concern.

The hooha is based on historical (and not accurate) accusations about my mental health. I cannot for the life of me understand why its suddenly an alarm bell despite social services considering me a fit parent less than a year ago.

Are you ever going to trust a MW who ignores you or makes you feel stressed? No, you're not, and whilst I would avoid a complaint, I would say, in a polite way, that you don't feel you are working well together and thus, with respect to her as a professional, you would like to see someone else. Keep it brief, don't get tearful (that won't help with the MH crap).
Also, if you have a good relationship with the SW (now manager) get her to email or write you a letter saying they are aware of inconsistencies in a previous case against you which they are advising be struck from records, but they have no concerns whatsoever. I did this with DS- he has aspergers, used to ring 999 when we took his tv privileges. Of course Police would turn up, then SS. In the end, one of them wrote us a letter to show Police and that was the end of that. Luckily, he grew out of that particular behaviour swiftly. It was helpful to have though.

You’d be well within your rights to refuse mental health assessments and such. The only risk is that this could be seen as lack of cooperation with professionals, but you’ve demonstrated good cooperation with your second baby, and as long as you attend all the usual healtg appointments forbypur current pregnancy, then you should be able to decline anything more. Just say ‘no’ - unless they have specific concerns about your current situation (not years ago) then there’s nothing anyone can do.

Sorry it does just seem weird that in this pregnancy they’ve decided to drag this all up. Wishing you the best of luck with your pregnancy and everything.

Is it possible it’s a new thing to ask all pregnant ladies if SS has been involved before?

It sounds like you’re I’ve come such a long way, and they’ll know that by looking at the reports separately.

When I spoke to the SW today I asked if she'd be able to give the midwife a quick casual call and reiterate that there are no concerns, she said she can't just call her because she's no longer involved with me and I don't have an open case with them but she can definitely tell her as much if she (the midwife) or somebody from a mental health sector contact her personally. I gave the midwife her direct number at the office.

She also said that if a referral were to be made from the midwife or the safeguarding midwife (haven't seen one of those at this stage) then because she was the one who oversaw my last assessment before she was made a manager, somebody would go and speak to her about it and make her aware at which point she'd reiterate that there is no need for it.

I was worried about all of this but @Letsmoveondude has made me sit and look at it differently. It really is a load of unnecessary hooha and a waste of everybody's time imo.

@Letsmoveondude they do ask all pregnant ladies about previous social services involvement yes, but I would have assumed that if the lady has children living with her and SS are not currently concerned then that should be an open and shut case.

@Wasywasydoodah I don't think I would feel comfortable undergoing such assessments at this stage as all its likely to do is stir up old emotions about my first borns case which I don't like to rake over and only talk about it with close friends and family. I'll do that, say I don't wish to, unless they are hugely concerned about something now (which they're not) then I'd do it to satisfy their curiosity.

@BoooForYou I don't think I would feel entirely comfortable seeing her regularly after this, if only because of my own emotions and how I feel about her handling of the case, so I'm going to politely ask to see somebody else and explain in a respectful way why that is. I hope you don't mind me saying but that part about your son phoning the police when you take away his TV privileges did make me smile, it reminded me of a close friends DS who also has aspergers, not at all nice for you though so I'm glad you nipped it in the bud.

Problem is that these things never go away. Even when something is found to be untrue/false it doesn’t get wiped off records like it really should. It stays
For reasons like ‘it forms part of records’
Or ‘at the time a professional had this opinion ‘ etc etc
Then you find that every so often it’s all dragged up again when it suits various organisations

What you need to know is try (and I know it’s hard) to stay calm. You know it’s untrue and you need to keep repeating to yourself what the current sw said.
I’d also stop engaging with the mw who has an issue with you. Sometimes protesting too much or complaining is seem as cause for concern
Sorry you are going through this

@alittlebitPerfect that's exactly right and it's a pain, I put myself through a traumatic voluntary assessment with my second son just so I could put all of this to bed once and for all. It's hurtful that a new face is dragging it all up again, but I'll try to detach and concentrate on the positives and not let it grind me down.

It’s all you can do unfortunately. Keep any paperwork in order and to hand and keep emails etc then as hard as it is try to forget it in between problems arising or you will make yourself ill (similar happened to me. I have ASD and was accused of all sorts and had to fight and it was ol but it’s still on records and has cropped up twice since).
I hope you can get things resolved as much as possible and congratulations on your pregnancy x

I think the midwife is just following a standard procedure, she had already contacted her safe guarding midwife when you contacted her again after speaking to the social worker. It would be difficult for her to now 'withdraw' her concern which will likely have involved following a standard process. I would expect the safe guarding midwife will resolve this with a phone call to social services.

I remember your last thread. In my work I have supported women in similar positions. Sadly SS are not as reliably good as the general public might want them to be (frequently under and over reacting).

I can only offer you a virtual hug.

Your MW is basically covering her arse by ensuring she has checked with the safeguarding midwife first before saying all is well.

As a separate thing, it’s very likely that like any normal person would have, you had PTSD after the loss of your first child. Certain things are going to be triggering for you and bring out anxiety and even emotional flashbacks. Try to take extra and planned care of yourself coming up to MW appointments. If they can, ask your partner to come too. Don’t rush off to do something else after. Plan for them to wipe you out. Sleep if you can. You can do this.

I think it's important to feel supported and stress free during pregnancy and birth and feel respected too. If you feel stressed or uncomfortable with the midwife you should be able to see a different one. Can you go to a different hospital or birth centre? Some midwives are better than others. Keep in mind that her Co workers may be loyal to her and stick by her if a complaint is made about her. Document and record (use voice recording on your phone) to protect yourself from any potential false accusations and gather supportive people around you. Don't worry too much everything will probably be fine, it just pays to be be a little extra careful and to trust your instincts. Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy and birth