To complain about how midwife has handled incorrect information RE social services

[Mothership241]

Very long back story, I'll link the thread which explains the history leading up to now. I no longer have access to that account but have found my old post in legal matters. I received some wonderful advice and a lot of support which meant the world to me, I didn't think I'd be back here again having to go over old wounds, but here I am.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/3089286-Pregnant-after-having-child-removed-at-birth

The long and the short of it is I lost my first born baby to adoption after he was born. I was very young (in my late teens), vulnerable and subject to a horrible period of domestic abuse by a man with a violent history. I went through hell but eventually got out and went on to create a better life for myself in another city, years later I fell pregnant again with my now partner, I referred myself to social services after the advice of some of you lovely lot and asked to to be assessed in my new circumstances. I had a glowing assessment of which the outcome was no ongoing involvement from SS needed. There were no concerns about me and the risks associated to that relationship and my life during were now historic and not current factors. My DS2 has thrived in my care and his health visitor thinks I'm a very good mother, she too has no concerns. Life is good.

The senior social worker who handled my assessment raised her own concerns about the handling of my case where I lived before, also unfounded and misleading comments about myself made by that SS department during the adoption proceedings with my first born, she raised these concerns with her managers whilst assessing me and looking over my file and they were in agreement that the alleged facts about myself (centered around my mental health) were misleading and untrue. I've never been diagnosed with a mental health condition and never been known to mental health services, but the LA in my old area had falsely documented that I supposedly have "deeply entrenched mental health problems" but didn't elaborate on what those were because they simply didn't exist.

I digress, I'm now happily expecting my third baby and attended my 16 week antenatal appointment today. Due to the fact I've had SS involvement in the past it's routine for a midwife to request information from the local authorities who hold information on you, I was upfront about the past and gave the details of the senior social worker who I last dealt with in my local area here as well as the details for the local authority where my son was adopted years ago, all this was given at my first appointment with this midwife.

Today (16 weeks) I go for my routine appointment and she told me she had now requested the information from both the local authority who placed my first born for adoption, and the local authority where I am now where I had my most recent assessment.

Local authority here got back to her with their response which was that there's no concerns and all is fine, but the local authority (who documented false information from many years ago) got back to her with supposed concerns about mental health that have given her cause for concern. Midwife told me that the way they worded their summary RE my mental health gave them much cause for concern so she's taken it to the safeguarding midwife and something about mental health to see how they wants to proceed.

Now I'm upset and stressed because there is no need for this.

When I left my appointment I contacted my last social worker here and told her what my midwife had said (she is now in a managerial role)

She said my midwife was informed by our local authority that there are no concerns about me nor my mental health so the information she received from the LA from years ago is irrelevant and shouldn't be held in favour of the new information, she also reminded me that she'd already raised concerns with the other managers here about how that particular local authority wrote things in my files and made false claims that they couldn't elaborate on or explain (I gave her full access to my medical records and the claims about mental health were proven to be inaccurate)

Social worker (now manager) reassured me that they personally would not be looking to assess me again, midwife should have been satisfied with the recent update our local authority provided which was "no concerns" and that should've been the end of it. She told me not to worry and said she cannot for the life of her see why the midwife was running with the older information.

After speaking with her I then emailed my midwife and told her I'd spoke with SW who reiterated that there was no concerns about my mental health and attached her personal desk contact number if she wanted to clarify what I've said.

Midwife responded and thanked me for letting her know. I then asked whether this would be the end of the matter and she replied saying no and she has to wait to hear back from the 'safeguarding midwife' to see what she personally wants to do about the historical claims of mental health and she will let me know what will happen next.

Now in the grand scheme of things I shouldn't have anything to worry about because nobody here has any concerns whatsoever, but I'm not happy about the fact the midwife is paying more attention to the historical information than the most recent assessment which was conducted with full access to all of my medical history and a positive outcome of no further involvement was nessecary.

It feels as though my most recent assessment is being over shadowed by things that should have never been written down in the first place, and the midwife is ignoring all of the new information.

I found the assessment process very stressful and do not want to be subject to anything of the same during this pregnancy, least of all when there is no good reason for it.

Due to all of this I no longer feel comfortable seeing this midwife and feel as though she's putting me under undue stress, I've spent the rest of the day worried despite my old social workers reassurance. The midwife can still (if she wants to) request mental health assessments and such like. My life has changed tremendously over the years and I'm in a very good place, I feel as though this has been a real knock to my confidence and faith in the services which were restored after my last dealings with them.

I want to enjoy my pregnancy in peace, I have a 10mo DS in my care who's thriving and I don't need any bloody mental health assessments.

AIBU to request a new midwife and potentially make a complaint.

I suspect that’s the “safeguarding midwife” will be able to make the call that it all goes away, but that the “ordinary” midwife had to follow procedure to the letter.

Try not to worry. You’ve done all you can for now, and if there is anything further to do, you’ve got great support in the case lead/manager who is happy to support your case as soon as they contact her.

As a separate thing, it’s very likely that like any normal person would have, you had PTSD after the loss of your first child. Certain things are going to be triggering for you and bring out anxiety and even emotional flashbacks. - which is why a midwife should be extra supportive. It almost sounds to me like the midwife is getting a bit of thrill out of having something interesting to delve into, but then I am an old cynic.

By all means let her dig up the dirt, but please do take the opportunity to see what has been said. Ask to change midwives or take your services direct from the GP or hospital.

You are amazing how you have coped with all this, my heart goes out to you and hope this jobsworth doesn't spoil your pregnancy.

I don't think it'd be unrealistic to think that after what I went through with DS1 I would've developed a form of PTSD, because I have found all of this today to be triggering and I wont deny the fact I'm currently in "fight or flight mode"

If a professional wanted to talk to me about my current feelings about what's happened today I'd be honest about how it's made me feel. It has brought upon me a great sadness that I shouldn't have to endure given how I did everything and more to satisfy the midwifes and social workers when I was pregnant with DS2. That was supposed to be the final chapter, then I could close the door on my past life.

I sat and read through my old thread from start to finish tonight which isn't something I'd do under normal circumstances, it's like I'm "preparing" myself for something.

If the officials had concerns about PTSD or even PND which wouldn't have been unusual given my situation, I'd have happily gone with suggestions and recommendations and been willing to talk about their concerns, my problem is the alleged mental health that's being zoned in on isn't centered around either of those things that may have emerged after the trauma I went through, it is very old and untrue information from many years ago that they're going on, long before my first baby was even thought of and long before my DV relationship.

I've never had PND either by the way but was prepared for the fact I could have been high risk due to losing DS1. Luckily I was fine, but I could have understood if they were worried about something like that developing.. Not some age old garbage that's already been debunked as untrue.

Yes dishoutdone the MW should have been more careful and kind. Hard to complain about because it’s inherently subjective. Also hard to train or retrain. Some people just say things in the right way and some people get the tone wrong every time.

OP, I think I didn’t explain myself well. What you’ve been through would make anyone feel like that. No amount of counselling can undo what was done to you. It’s traumatic. I don’t think you are mentally ill. I think you have endured a very very very hard situation. You are probably more resilient that most people and have all kinds of strength. I only meant, having suffered from PTSD myself that you need to be extra gentle with yourself.

I'm not looking forward to telling her I'd like to see somebody else in future. I'm not one for awkward conversations and don't like to offend anybody least of all those who have any power over me, in a professional sense.

I half wish my social worker was still involved with my family so she could nip this in the bud straight away and put it to bed.

As great as it is not having any SS involvement it would've benefited me more if she were still involved. I've been reassured as much as I'm able to be and she spent a good 20 minutes on the phone telling me not to worry, but she did say during the same call that its a process now of waiting to see where the midwife tries going with it.. so I'm back in the limbo and the land of the unknown which is exactly where I was this time last year. Ugh

@Worriedmummybekind I know you wasn't insinuating that I was mentally ill don't worry. I do agree with everything you said though and appreciate your kind words

OP you sound lovely and I am so glad things have turned out so well for you. 😊

The MW seems very diligent, rather than difficult. She probably has reams of guidance to follow and might not be fully empowered to disregard that old information without a senior person's agreement, which is what she seems to be seeking. But I also completely understand why you feel the way you do.

Reading your first post made me wonder whether you would benefit from something like this, below? Not sure if it applies to your old LA but could be worth a go, especially if you thought this might come up again.

ico.org.uk/your-data-matters/your-right-to-get-your-data-corrected/

Be reassured the only thing the safeguarding m/w would do if they wanted to follow up would be to contact social care and you already know what they are going to tell her.

The m/w is following procedure, she would not be the one to contact social care, it would need to be the safeguarding one. Try to see it as just a process it won't be a threat to you. xx

@StargazyDrifter thank you that's very kind to say

I think that's probably the case here it's just hard not to take it personally after everything I've come through.

I'm going to take a look at that link now. I'd definitely like this amended and put to rest for good because it's such a drag having to dig over it again

@TAMS71 thank you I'm trying to tell myself exactly that. I think after a good sleep ill feel more optimistic x

If you look at the ICO link and you're still not sure, you can ring the number at the bottom of that page for advice (might be on hold for a bit though!). The ICO are a public body responsible for helping people with data protection. They'll be able to talk it through. Good luck!xx

I am shocked to read that they ask everyone OP, but I’ve gone from here, and I’ve searched a little, and there is guidance online stating such. I’m so so sorry you are going through this, I was naive to believe that just not having children taken away and no current concerns was all that mattered. I’ve a few friends who have been able to keep their children after having lost a child to care proceedings. I’m sorry that this is making your pregnancy so hard, hoping that this process is over quickly for you.

OP - I remember your original thread well.

I am so pleased you have your 2nd child with you and he is thriving. And congratulations on your current pregnancy.

So sorry current midwife is piss No on your pregnancy parade. You must feel you are going backwards despite your phenomenal progress

Thank you for the support guys

It really does feel like a huge step backwards. Hopefully the safeguarding midwife will halt it where it is and leave me be to enjoy what should've been my first stress free pregnancy.

After my lovely DS1 being adopted, losing my second pregnancy to miscarriage and then spending the entirety of DS2's pregnancy worrying about whether I'd get to take him home, I was just saying to DP the other week how blessed I feel to not have anything to worry about this time around.

It's a good job we've decided between us that this bubs will be our last because I can't keep going through this headache it sucks the joy out of something so special.

Still, on a positive note I got to hear babies heartbeat today and that was quite wonderful

It seems like you have done a great job with your second son, especially after all the trauma of the first and you should be really proud of yourself. It is understandable that you feel scared and defensive at any further probing given the past.

However, please try to stay calm and objective about this. It’s early days and the midwife is just reviewing all the information she has and indeed has passed on to safeguarding midwife as per procedure. They will have to look at it a bit further and at that stage will no doubt contact your social worker from the last assessment. While you are doing well now, past removal of a baby is a big thing and they have to look at it properly. Additionally, mental health situations can come and go so they have to be sure that you were okay a year ago and are okay now. Further probing will establish the original mh assertion as being completely unsubstantiated.

I understand that this is attention you don’t want or need, but they are just doing their job and following procedures. Don’t take it personally or as a reflection on your current situation. It’s clear thy when they have a proper look at what has gone on, there will be no cause for concern so please try to stay calm.

I would be very wary of any attempt to change or refuse to engage with professionals. To change the midwife as she has raised safeguarding concerns (based on historic info, not anything she is currently observing) would just serve as a red flag IMO. Similarly with any attempt to complain about her (complaining to the original team about unsubstantiated much claims in your file is a different matter though). This is mainly what I came to post to say as some of the advice is to do this. Any other midwife in her situation would have also got the same files and probably had to refer it also. It’s nothing personal. Please just continue to engage and carry on doing a great job parenting. Sending you a big hug.

I'm a midwife, though not a community one.

I really wouldn't worry anymore. Midwifery is such a blame culture profession and generally community midwives aren't the experts in such cases. Your case is fairly unusual and she wants advice from the speciality midwife.

She's covering her arse. If something was to happen and there was an investigation and it turned out she knew that a SS dept had disclosed concerns about your mental health even though the more recent one has said they haven't got concerns she would quite probably be in trouble.

So she refers to the safeguarding midwife who will probably talk to the more recent social worker and document all of that and close it.

I'm sorry it's stressful for you though, but nothing will come of it. Think of it as box ticking/paperwork and try and forget it.

Firstly, i remember your previous thread well and I'm so happy that things turned out well! Congratulations on having a second coming along too!

Can i just say as a child protection social worker, you have nothing to worry about. Obviously with what has happened before this kind of thing is going yo be very hard.

In my opinion the actions of the midwife are bizarre. People are saying thay she's doing her job or covering her arse but some she's a professional who should be able to use professional judgement given the recent information available.

However, the safeguarding midwife will almost certainly do just that. Even if she did not, the only thing they would do is refer to children's services who would 100% without a doubt close it right down...because there's no new information for them. They will not re-assess.

So nothing will come of it.

@nicoandtheniners just read your post which provides some more perspective on the culture ib midwifery. Perhaps i was a little harsh. It's a shame though, a blame culture and back-covering is so counter -productive sometimes.

Social services and midwives are under a lot of pressure not to miss things.
You have a red flag unfortunately so the midwife is just following process.
She has to.
The second she doesn’t and a child is put at risk then she will lose her job.

Just a really simple point - you don’t need to see the midwife to tell her you want to change. Contact the head of midwifery at your hospital - just an email would be fine - and say you would like to change midwife. You don’t have to give much reason - ‘for personal reasons, I found we did not develop a mutually trusting relationship’ would do.
I changed midwife - I DID have MH issues and was referred to a specialist service, but the midwife there was horrible, so I just changed back. They were perfectly nice about it.

Brilliant post from dinosaurglitterrepublic.
I agree that, if she were so minded (which from your post iot isn't at all clear or certain that she is), the MW could seize on your request to change her, or any complaint, as a red flag. I don't think there's anything bizarre about her actions. She stands to lose her career and livelihood if seen to have made a mistake, and, while it's brilliant that you and your ds2 are doing well now, a removal in the past is a thing calling for due diligence. I know how hard it must be to feel you are being taken back to a place you have escaped from, but this part of your life will always be part of your life. Adopt the attitude of openness and willingness to work with those looking after you that got you so successfully through the assessment last time. if the safeguarding MW also has concerns, then will be the time to bring your most recent assessment and your managerial SW on board. But keep your powder dry for now.

All the best with your new pregnancy.

Thanks all

Not feeling so worried today! I understand she has to cover her own back, I just wish she could've done all the necessary checks without making me worry

Will reply later

Wanting to change midwives is a real red flag and and any subsequent midwife will pick up where the other left off. They are very unlikely to file this away No Further Action at this point.

You have been through so much that the midwives are covering their arses. Maybe the first midwife failed to do her duty and should have done more. They are not going to halt an assessment especially with a phone call from someone who doesn't know your current situation

I also think that you phoning different people is another red flag, rather than co-operating you are running around trying to stop the assessment and getting really upset - this could be a sign of stress/MH that you can't see.

Looking after two babies under 2 years is difficult and you may develop PND and wish they were all there to help you. Kids are hard work!