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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to tell her to either shut up or go home?

58 replies

Callmedarcy · 19/11/2018 19:51

Colleague had been coughing her guts up for over a month straight. It’s constant, it’s loud. It’s making everyone put in headphones.

She refuses to go to the doctors.

OP posts:
chronicplainjane · 19/11/2018 23:44

Aren’t you all heart.

C0untDucku1a · 19/11/2018 23:48

I ended up with a hernia after five weeks of coughing! And id been to the docs after three weeks.

Cancer has been mentioned.

COPD is another.

Edendal · 19/11/2018 23:49

Its not my sister is it? She's been coughing about 40 years now...

LondonLassInTheCountry · 19/11/2018 23:50

Shut up or go home?

You cant shut a cough up.
Go home? You gonna pay her?

You sound horrible

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 19/11/2018 23:50

She should be going to the doctor after 3 weeks of a cough. But maybe she has and has been told it just needs time to go away. In which case you need to give her time, not berate her for it. Also, maybe the air is too dry in the office and making it worse?

MrsRyanGosling15 · 19/11/2018 23:52

RuthW I really hope you don't have a patient facing role in a gp practice

glitterfarts · 19/11/2018 23:58

I had a persistent cough and was run down, exhausted and tired. Finally went to the Dr and turned out I had pneumonia and had to have 7 weeks of antibiotics to clear it. It came back the next winter in the same spot and I had 12 weeks of antibiotics that time. I would cough until I retched or vomited.

LearningToDrive · 20/11/2018 00:07

Persistent coughs, strong enough to make me retch, are awful. I couldn't bear to be on public transport or around people. I felt I had to go to work but I would have loved to be told to go/work from home. Nothing was worse than trying to hold it in so I didn't disgust everyone around me.

JassyRadlett · 20/11/2018 00:11

A colleague of mine had a similar persistent cough that went on for ages. She finally went to a GP and discovered she had whooping cough.

As others have said, not all coughs are ‘just a cough’.

corythatwas · 20/11/2018 00:28

of course she should see her doctor

but all the doctor can do is eliminate certain illnesses, such as cancer (and whooping cough)

once that is done, having been to the doctor won't make the cough go away

SisterOfDonFrancisco · 20/11/2018 00:31

I'd love to be able to stay at home due to a cough. I get a terrible cough once a year, lasting close to two months. Retching, cacking, vomiting because of a constant tickly cough isn't the best experiences ever. Every year I go to the doctor and they always say there's nothin really they can do about it.

abacucat · 20/11/2018 00:32

Many people with ongoing respiratory issues have persistent coughs that can last months.

Bunbunbunny · 20/11/2018 00:32

I had 2 colleagues who both had whooping cough but came into the office for over a month, myself & another colleague came down with it & we were off for weeks. It was awful I had to sit on the loo when I had coughing fits as I couldn’t control anything. I was a useless mess thanks to that cough. It was worse than an asthma attack as I could not get my breath, I’m just grateful no one in our team was pregnant at the time. I was angry that my colleagues hadn’t considered that them coming in or not getting checked could have consequences for others.

This month is lung cancer awareness week, having lost four loved ones to lung cancer I urge anyone that has a persistent cough just go to your gp & get checked over.

www.roycastle.org/campaign/face-your-fear/lung-cancer-symptoms-tracker

abacucat · 20/11/2018 00:38

Whooping cough is a notifiable disease and people with it should be quarantined at home until the antibiotics no longer make it capable of passing on to anyone else. But the people affected will still be coughing after that period, although they are no longer infectious. If they had been diagnosed with whooping cough, they will not have been allowed to return to work until they were no longer infectious.

HappyGoodHairBear · 20/11/2018 00:48

I had a really persistent cough once, lasted weeks, couldn’t shift it. My flatmate got her mum to get me a herbal mixture from a Chinese Medicine place. One spoonful, cough gone.

Aridane · 20/11/2018 00:54

A doctor won't do anything for a cough

Well - sometimes an inhaler can relieve symptoms, even absent asthma . A bit of a revelation for me. So glad I went to the doctor and didn’t treat it as just a cough / why go to the doctor / a doctor won’t be interested/ can’t do anything

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/11/2018 01:06

She should go - my sister was like this for weeks and it turned out to be pneumonia.
It's just not worth leaving it forever.

ClartyParty · 20/11/2018 02:30

I was diagnosed with a chronic lung disorder two years ago. I have cough a shit load of blood and mucus up daily. I have to clear my lungs out every hour or I risk an infection, I’m on permanent antibiotics as a prevatatice measure, I’ve been in hospital twice having lungs flushed out, I’ve had ten chest infections this year and I know ive got another coming cos my lung is bubbling when I breathe again. Logically a cough should be the least of my worries as it means my lungs are working and getting mucus up and my body isn’t doing its job. A good day for me is just a constant cough and severe lung pain.

To look at me you absolutely wouldn’t know, I tell people who are close to me, and even were shocked to find out just how sick I am becuase I look and sound normal apart from rattling lungs.

I’ve been called a lazy bitch for having a dog walker when I’m just at home all day. I can’t get far without getting out of breath, getting out breath starts the coughing and then the disgusted looks.

Since getting ill my confidence has dropped to the point I avoid leaving the house. I try to suppress the cough but that makes the pain unbearable that I start to shake so get looked at, I won’t go out for more than half an hour because the mucus will come up and I’m embarrassed as it is. No nights out with dh, no social life, no friends anymore, no doing nice things with dd becuase looking like you don’t give a fuck gets you even worse looks, and I’m fed up saying sorry and feeling like I shouldn’t be out that it’s easier to not bother at all.

Dh says to ignore it or I’m imagining the looks, I know I’m not and some of the comments here show that. Be thankful you and your loved ones don’t have to live with a condition that makes you feel like a disgusting person. I genuinely mean that cos I wouldn’t wish the looks of disgust and annoyance I get on anyone.

WitsEnding · 20/11/2018 08:12

I've had this, reluctantly went to the GP when I was wheezing and couldn't catch my breath. I was fortunate that after months of investigations nothing serious was found but the doctors were very helpful and encouraged me to have lots of test.
As far as I know I didn't pass it on to anyone, and I would have been severely disciplined (at best) if I'd stayed at work. Was already on an unofficial warning for having two days off with infections earlier in the year.

Yes she should go to the docto, sympathetic approaches work best!

Ngaio2 · 20/11/2018 13:23

Clarty you have described how I feel so well. I describe my coughing “ugly” and avoid going out when I have it but after weeks turn into months I feel almost suicidal, I’m so desperate and wretched. GPS see so much of these coughs and I think they feel just as helpless.
Occasionally It does end up as a chest infection and I’m actually pleased because it means treatment and just as importantly, people can understand what that means.
When it’s “just asthma” I feel I have to explain that I’m not actually infectious and don’t need to ring a bell and cry “unclean” ( not uncle as autocorrect just tried to have me say,

RB68 · 20/11/2018 13:31

Diabetes in itself doesn't give you a cough. However you have a lowered immunity so more likely to catch colds and coughs and also if you have any bacterial infection the bacteria love to feast on the sugars in your blood and multiply, plus the lowered immunity and you end up with a nasty chest infection that is difficult to shift so end up with several antibiotics and potentially a resistence if you need them too frequently.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 20/11/2018 15:02

Oh ClartyParty. Sad Hugs. Flowers

cherrytree63 · 20/11/2018 15:11

That sounds horrendous Clarty Flowers
I had whooping cough and then ended up catching every respiratory bug going.
I was very ill for 3 months and didn't feel myself for another two.
I too find it embarrassing to have uncontrollable "productive" coughing fits.

Callmedarcy · 21/11/2018 16:53

You sound horrible

Grin shit like that ^ is hilarious.

Because I said it’s irritating listening to someone cough their guts up for weeks on end that makes me horrible?

Strange logic that.

Are we suppose to never be irritated by anything in life for fear of being a horrible person?

Or what else did I get called .. miserable? Sorry is that noise suppose to bring joy to my life?

OP posts:
DisillusionedEmployee · 21/11/2018 17:29

So OP will you actually tell her to shut up or go home?

I wouldn't get paid if I went home....

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