I was diagnosed with a chronic lung disorder two years ago. I have cough a shit load of blood and mucus up daily. I have to clear my lungs out every hour or I risk an infection, I’m on permanent antibiotics as a prevatatice measure, I’ve been in hospital twice having lungs flushed out, I’ve had ten chest infections this year and I know ive got another coming cos my lung is bubbling when I breathe again. Logically a cough should be the least of my worries as it means my lungs are working and getting mucus up and my body isn’t doing its job. A good day for me is just a constant cough and severe lung pain.
To look at me you absolutely wouldn’t know, I tell people who are close to me, and even were shocked to find out just how sick I am becuase I look and sound normal apart from rattling lungs.
I’ve been called a lazy bitch for having a dog walker when I’m just at home all day. I can’t get far without getting out of breath, getting out breath starts the coughing and then the disgusted looks.
Since getting ill my confidence has dropped to the point I avoid leaving the house. I try to suppress the cough but that makes the pain unbearable that I start to shake so get looked at, I won’t go out for more than half an hour because the mucus will come up and I’m embarrassed as it is. No nights out with dh, no social life, no friends anymore, no doing nice things with dd becuase looking like you don’t give a fuck gets you even worse looks, and I’m fed up saying sorry and feeling like I shouldn’t be out that it’s easier to not bother at all.
Dh says to ignore it or I’m imagining the looks, I know I’m not and some of the comments here show that. Be thankful you and your loved ones don’t have to live with a condition that makes you feel like a disgusting person. I genuinely mean that cos I wouldn’t wish the looks of disgust and annoyance I get on anyone.