To ask what you give your adult kids for Christmas **Thread title edited at OP's request**

[Storm4star]

When my DC were teens they started asking if they could have money each year to buy their own stuff, rather than gifts. That was fine and obviously I used to see what they had bought. DD was usually clothes, make up etc, DS bought games. As they went into their twenties, the money was useful to them. DD was in a low paid job, DS was studying. But I realised today that I'm still just transferring them money every Christmas but I never see where it goes now. Obviously they thank me but other than that I may as well be throwing it into a bucket! It just feels so meaningless and I'd like to change it, but I'm not sure how. They both now have the money to cover their living expenses and buy treats for themselves etc. So my money isn't "needed" as such. But it would feel mean to just say to them "right, it stops now". So I suppose I'm looking for ideas! I did try asking if there was anything particular either of them wanted but just got "I'm not sure" in return!

Sorry, title should have said "adult kids" not adults!

Trust me op. Unless you're on a footballers salary or a lottery winner. Money is always needed. They might use that to pay a bill or getting the Christmas shopping in.

My mum is great for getting me lovely treat things that I wouldn’t necessarily get myself. This year I know she has got me Jo Malone body cream and a candle. In the past she has bought me a really nice jumper or paid for tickets to a show and then looked after the kids so we could go.

I stick with money still. It works very well for DS

From the other side of this, my Mum will usually take us out for a nice meal rather than give us money for Christmas. I appreciate that and I get to spend time with her

I give vouchers for things like meals out at their favourite restaurants, wine tasting course, theatre trips, spa days, courses or experiences to do with a hobby. These always go down well.

As an adult child probably around your DC ages, I find things I want or need and tell my dad - last Christmas was a dashcam for my car. Year before was Ugg boots.

My mum is better at little things I need so she gets me pyjamas, clothes, makeup etc.

I'm 44. I always give my parents a list of books and blu rays I'd like in October. Then buy no books or blu rays before Xmas. I've nearly always forgotten what was on the list, so it's a surprise.

Thanks, there’s some really good ideas here. Maybe then I should think about some cash mixed with a treat. Then I’m covering all bases.

My parents give me the money for something I’ve bought or am about to buy like a new coat or other large purchase.

It depends how much money you give them but how about a weekend away or maybe theatre tickets or tickets for their nearest restraunt. Something they can't pay the bills with.

As boring as it is, IMO you can't go wrong with designer underwear or socks for boys. That's all I've received for the last 5+ years from several members of my family. I love my pairs of nice black calvin klein socks for work everyday or the white ones I wear with converse when I'm dressed casual, super comfy compared to the cheaper supermarket ones I have.

My parents buy me a hairdressing voucher from my hairdressers, some money, tights, socks, pjs, my favourite sweets, books, candles, usually dearer smellies than I would buy for myself. They stick it all in a Christmas stocking- I'm 44

I am an adult kid. I agree tickets to a show or a spa afternoon for the couple plus the most important thing of an offer to babysit (no point in show tickets if they can't find a babysitter as I have found out). I think its nice that someone buys you a treat you would buy yourself. I also agree money is useful for everyone and they can use it as they please I certainly wouldn't say no to money at this time of year. I would suggest you do tell them (or ask them) before changing from money to gifts, just incase they are relying on that money for something.
What I hate about Christmas is I spend months running round buying a loada crap that no one needs only to receive crap I didn't need. (think joke gifts and cutter for the house). Sometimes as a family we write down a few suggestions of things we would like and people pick of the list. You don't get everything off the list but you do get something they would at least like or use.

I tend to give my parents some suggestions (e.g. nice candles, posh chocolate, cosy slippers) and I might specify a particular thing e.g. a coat or boots I like. That way they still get to choose and surprise me without having to traipse the shops aimlessly - they can just head to Molton Brown and any chocolatier and choose something for me at random, but know it will go down well, if you see what I mean.

I'm a massive reader and simply have a list of books I would love but obviously can't justify buying until after Christmas. Nicer smellies are always loved as well

I'm an adult kid. My mum is getting me a new winter coat for Christmas, and Dad is getting me some new walking boots. Sensible, useful items when never seem to reach the top of my priority list so still a treat.

Ok so I think for this year I’ll stick to the money as it’s so close and then earlier next year speak to them about other options. I like the idea of experiences over cash or gifts. Or things they couldn’t justify buying for themselves. Maybe a combination of those things. Thanks for the ideas. It’s helped a lot.

My nan still gives me money and I'm the wrong side of 30...I do usually tell her what I've spent it on as she likes to know

Money is always appreciated. DH and I are both (well) into our thirties and work but having the luxury of that money that doesn't have to go on bills etc is lovely. DH has quite a niche hobby (not cycling!) so he likes getting money from his mum as he spends it on equipment for that for which she would have no idea where to begin or what he needed or wanted.

What a lovely thread :) how wonderful that you are so caring and considerate - I bet your children are very grateful, regardless of age. Why don’t you have a look at some subscription boxes? Glossy box for a beauty fan or you can do coffee, flowers, socks etc - not on the high street has some good ones! Then it’s like a whole year of presents and every time it comes they think of you.

DS is 25 DD is 27
I spend around £150 each, probably £50 on small treats and surprises - which can be anything from toiletries to underwear and usually involve alcohol and foodie gifts
£100 goes on either anything they ask for or they get in cash
DD usually chooses clothes or jewellery and sometimes stuff for her home
DS usually asks for games, records or concert tickets, occasionally clothes

My parents gave up buying gifts years ago and just give DC and DGC £50 each and a chocolate orange

My mum gets me stuff I need for my house usually

Dd1 who is 26 is getting Harry Potter studio tour tickets for her and her partner.

Dd2 who is 22 is getting a handbag