To ask what you give your adult kids for Christmas **Thread title edited at OP's request**

[Storm4star]

When my DC were teens they started asking if they could have money each year to buy their own stuff, rather than gifts. That was fine and obviously I used to see what they had bought. DD was usually clothes, make up etc, DS bought games. As they went into their twenties, the money was useful to them. DD was in a low paid job, DS was studying. But I realised today that I'm still just transferring them money every Christmas but I never see where it goes now. Obviously they thank me but other than that I may as well be throwing it into a bucket! It just feels so meaningless and I'd like to change it, but I'm not sure how. They both now have the money to cover their living expenses and buy treats for themselves etc. So my money isn't "needed" as such. But it would feel mean to just say to them "right, it stops now". So I suppose I'm looking for ideas! I did try asking if there was anything particular either of them wanted but just got "I'm not sure" in return!

In practice, I actually get money, but I do talk to my parents about what it's for, which might be a spa day or an art class or this year a new kindle. But they then give me a cheque to cover whatever it is.

I'm an adult kid.

This year I have asked my dad for a pair of irregular choice shoes - sent him links to different pairs so he could choose.
My mum is getting me something too but I can't think what.. basically they buy me something I would love but don't need.

Last year I was given a new led gel lamp

What about a hamper with nice cheese etc. Or just ask your adult dc if there is anything they want

I don’t really like receiving money, even though I’m of course grateful for it. I end up using it to buy something I would have bought anyway, even something nice I’d had my eye on, so i feel guilty for just sort of adding it to my purse. There’s still a whole month until Christmas, I think you should start this year. You’ve asked and they’ve not given ideas, so buy something. You could say afterwards it just felt impersonal giving cash and you wanted to make a special effort.

Tickets for a panto maybe, that you can all see in January?
Could you buy stockings and fill them with smaller, but nice things they’d enjoy, like when they were kids? Fave chocolates, nice brand candle, jewellery. Is there anything they enjoyed receiving as kids, like a selection box that you could add, just for fun?