Is this funny or just plain rude?

[Pooshy]

DH and I were chatting about doing our Xmas stockings for each other, and he said something along the lines of maybe he should do his just to avoid it being shit

Joking apparently, but I just think that's rude?! Considering I've spent and fortune over the years and always been generous with him

I've always been appreciative of everything he's given me even if it's not quite right, and it felt he was having a dig which he then denied

Maybe I should just fill it with coal

He says he's joking, but it sounds like he could be hinting (badly!) that you're buying him things he doesn't really want and wasting money.

Coal. Coal all the way.

One year my grandad put an onion at the end of mine.

What have you bought him in the past?

Find out what he actually does want - it sounds like he may be anticipating expensive stuff he doesn't appreciate? Without knowing his tone of voice and how you both normally joke we can't say, so you need to talk about stocking-fillers and presents with him. If you can't, that's the problem.

I think you need to list examples of what you have got him in the past and vice versa. There's no need to make a joke like that unless to be deliberately nasty or because there's a reason behind it.

ask him why he feels that way

So previous stocking fillers have been things like books, sock, toiletries, fave chocs or booze, not the most exciting things but things he'll use

And then main presents have been coats, boots, theatre tickets etc. He has sometimes complained I get "practical presents" like a north face coat but then wears it's all the time

I think you're being a little too sensitive unless it was said in a sneery tone or something.

It's hard to know what to do when people repeatedly buy you stuff you just don't want. Obviously not a terrible problem to have, but you don't want people who love you wasting all their time, effort and money on the same things that they think you like but don't. How do you get that across without them feeling offended about all the past gifts?

I'd laugh about it, make some lighthearted comments about him being a cheeky ungrateful git, and ask him in all seriousness which were the things he wasn't so keen on as you would like to get him some things he genuinely likes.

Unless it was said in a nasty way and he is a generally abusive person, I rather think you have not put enough thought into his presents.

Books, socks, toiletries sounds a bit lazy to me.

They sound like lovely gifts 🎁

Maybe the stocking gifts he wants to be more personal and less practical?

Perhaps start doing lists and you pick one or two items from it and then add in a surprise?

Or stop altogether.

I hate money to be wasted, though.

So previous stocking fillers have been things like books, sock, toiletries, fave chocs or booze

Well rude or not (and yes it was a bit), he's obviously telling you he doesn't like that type of stocking.

Why not ask him what sort of things he would like?

Books - does he actually read them? DH reads a lot a lot of graphic novels, comics and very specific books, yet every year someone will buy him the latest top gear book etc, because he used to watch it, he's not interested in reading the annuals. Socks and toiletries - not very exciting, stuff you buy day to day. Booze -loads of it around at Christmas anyway. Why don't you agree not to bother with stockings this year?

Your husband sounds like a total brat im not even joking i would get him bugger all.

Ha just put a gift voucher for tescos in the stocking for half the amount you would normally spend :) ..... and a lump of coal. (and get a manicure for the money you save!). Just kidding by the way - you should ask him why he said that and if it was a thoughtless joke or a hint hint.

What does he get you as stocking fillers?

Sometimes it is disappointing to get things like a coat as a main present unless it's one that you really, really want because is it something that is practical and you'd buy for yourself and there's no about him wearing it every day because it's a coat and it's practical to wear one most days

Now I just find it easier to ask what my BF wants and tell him what I want

Ask him to write a list. They're not gifts he considers to be thoughtful so get a list and choose from that.

It's crap being given gifts you don't like. I've just been given the exact same hairdryer as i already own (in perfectly good working order i might add!) For my birthday coupled with a cake that i don't like.

books, sock, toiletries, fave chocs or booze, not the most exciting things but things he'll use

^Sounds unimaginative and just your bog standard go to presents when you can’t be bothered

Just give him an empty stocking and tell him to fill it himself as he suggested.

You don't have to go to the bother of trying guess what he's like and he won't get 'shitty' presents. That way every body wins.

What sort of things does he put in your stocking so we can compare?

Take him up on it. Buy your own stocking, let him buy his.

The difficulty with presents is that none of us are mind readers. Even couples who know each other very well sometimes get it wrong, no matter how much care is taken. How about you both get stuff for yourselves and get the other one to write the gift tag? When you open them in front of each other it will educate you both as to what you really want.

However it was a bit rude of him to make that comment, most of us just smile politely while inwardly thinking WTF.

People on these threads always talk about being more imaginative but never give examples. What type of things do you mean? After all it's only cheapish stocking presents.

Rude