Is it wrong to allow a child to continue believing in Father Christmas at the risk of them being teased?

[LittleHouseonTheHill]

Almost 9 yrs old DS.

He fully believes in Father Christmas . His best friend does not and has started to tease DS.

Some of the class do still believe , some (especially the older ones) do not .

I think it’s time for the truth if he asks .
My DM thinks we still have a few years left if we tell him “of course he’s real”.

I was 12 when I found out

I don’t want DS to be teased or tell him too early but I get his friends have more influence than me

He definitely believes 100% .

WWYD ?

I would rather him believe in FC than spend hours playing computer games, and absorbed on his phone, or on Facebook, if that's what you think children of op ds age should be doing, geese.

Well arent you a delight Methvenie i bet you wouldnt normallt go around insulting nine year old children in real life would you ?

Yes Methvenie dd 11 believes in FC, but according to you she is 'slow on the uptake' well she does have ASD and learning difficulties after all. Yes despite us telling her the 'truth' still wants to believe so we are going with that.

IME children are very adept at letting their parents continue to believe that they believe. When we were kids our parents and neighbours thought they were very smart in hiding each others santa gifts. I was 40 before I confessed that by the time I was 7 we were tipping each other off! My younger brothers were in on it 2

Ah, my DD is 8 and I'm hoping we've got a year or two of believing left, even if it's only semi-believing, especially as she's got a younger sibling.

I loved the whole Father Christmas concept as a child. MN is the only place I've ever seen a bit of make-believe fantasy which is fun for children dismissed as "lying to your kids". Scrooges!

Those long letters PP have posted seem a bit full on. I mean, was anyone here actually massively traumatised when find out or realising Father Christmas wasn't real?

I really don't think you should tell him "of course he's true". Issue with that is that it's a direct lie to a direct question. Means you may find him questioning you on more important matters.

However skirting round the issue "what do you think" is fine. That's what I did with mine. Then as they get older and I'm certain they don't believe "If you say you don't believe then he doesn't come."

So we've never had "a conversation" about it. I know they don't believe, they know I don't, but it's an unspoken agreement that we all pretend. I think they all stopped believing between age 8 and 10yo. All definitely believed at 7yo, without any questioning. All didn't believe at 11yo., but happy to go along with the pretence.

My year 7 DC insists they still believe and is of the opinion that all their friends also believe. They were hanging out on Friday night eating pizza and chatting about their letters to Santa.

I don’t see the problem.

I agree ChranklyBore, there are even 'adult advent calendars' due to adults still hanging onto the 'magic of christmas', and companies picking up on that. I have seen adult stockings too somewhere.

I would not be concerned.

Though if he believed Brexit was a good idea I would be very worried.

DD is 11 and she still believes. I will not be having the conversation with her, I think it's horrible. My parents never sat me down and said Santa wasn't real, it just feels completely unnecessary. I still believe :-)

I had the conversation with dd 11 in the summer Girliconrn she has SN, and it was awful, crying, meltdown. So I just left it, and she still believes so that is what it is going to be for now.

I’ve just broken it it my 11 year old one he’s at senior school, he still believed, but I didn’t want him being teased at school.

Santa only comes to those who believe. I’m pretty sure my two fon’t Believe anymore but they play along so they still get a stocking.

Awww thanks so much Nottonight, I know, it is just a small window of childhood, before they have to grow up and be an adult, for our kids it takes longer or may never be. DD is 11 going on 12 in March, and socially and emotionally a few years younger, she is very intelligent and knowledgable. Even some adults believe too, in a stressful and cruel world, it is lovely to revert to that once childhood magic that is Christmas and to get carried along by it. I know some adults have their own Christmas Eve boxes that they have prepared for themselves .

My ds was at a small village school, they are in an innocent little bubble, and I think that can make a difference in how soon they know?

Exactly Nottonight, just enjoy each moment that you can, as it will be gone.

I don't understand what the rush is to make children grow up, and put adult ideals onto them.

Aeroflotgirl, I suppose its about how soon you encourage critical thinking and get your child into basic politics/issues.

Around me, most children stop believing 6/7. The children I know would ask why the children needing electric Wheelchairs etc, featured on the like of Children in need, didn't just ask Father Christmas for one.

11 year old should be developing thinking skills and a knowledge of how life varies for others. That's what stops bullying.

How you explain the difference in presents, children starving, refugees etc, if this magical man really does exist?

I don't think it needs a full sit down conversation, as said children keep up the pretense.

Birdsgottafly, dd has ASD and learning difficulties so it is slightly different to a NT, she is also not entirely tuned into the NT world either, so discussions like you are suggesting can be difficult. She is 11 but has the social emotional age of a 5/6 year old. I did try to talk to her in the summer about Santa, and that he is not real but a lovely story. She was not happy at all, so I left it. This year she is believing in Santa, and I am leaving it at that, who am I to upset her and cause her distress. She will probably figure it out when she is socially and emotionally ready, at the moment she is not there yet.

My 6 year old ds who also has SN but different to dd, is very clued up in comparison to dd, and will probably figure it out himself in a year or two. He is socially and emotionally maturer in comparison to dd, but I will take his lead. If he is still believing by Yr6 then I will have the talk, as I would not want him bullied in secondary school. But after then if he still wants to believe and retain some of the magic of Christmas, so be it.