How often do men fantasize?

[Skybird]

How often do you think men fantasize about other women?
Just that really. I'm guessing it's a lot. Do you think they share with their friends who they fantasize about? Or not since they fantasize so much?

There's a difference between thinking she's attractive and fantasizing about doing a particular act with a particular woman. Finding people attractive doesn't diminish with age but sex drive and therefore fantasizing does. I've talked about how I find attractive with friends when I was younger but never details of which sordid acts I'd like to do unless it was jokey eg someone doing something that showed impressive wrist action etc

I think that’s a myth. Women weren’t really considered to have their own sexuality until fairly recently.

So even if they were asked, they probably were not honest in their responses.

@LadyPasserine I don't actually find it hard to believe that men think about sex more than women tbh

@TheStoic that is interesting.

I definitely fantasise a lot more then my husband.
He fantasises about me quite a lot actually, judging by the filthy texts he sends me during the day!
He would be horrified if he knew how many people I’ve shagged in my head during our marriage

I wouldn't like to ask my partner this, as I am currently a very secure, non paranoid partner, however I think it could cause issues within the relationship.

Interesting. You would expect being very secure would prevent such a non issue creating issues.

My DH fantasies all the time - but I’m always in the fantasy too so that’s ok 😀

You haven't mentioned the women fantasising about other women.

I do this all day long

allhdghd because if I knew the specific real life people who were involved in these fantasies, I'd probably compare myself to them, wonder if he finds them more attractive etc. I think it's (mostly) human nature. I couldn't give a shit who he's fantasising about I'd just rather not know, iyswim.

Just asked mine, he says he doesn't

@RedRoss
Does your husband lie often?

Nope he doesn't ☺ he also doesn't want either but I got torn down for announcing that on a different thread lol!

Wank lmao

Generally speaking with people I know it's far more often a "Would I shag her if we were both single? Yes/No" than an actual visual fantasy about what specific sex acts we would perform on each other.

I can tell you right now that there are 4 people I currently work with for whom the answer is "Yes" but I haven't graphically imagined having sex with any of them, and I don't imagine them naked - I only fantasize about sex when I'm jerking off, and as mentioned, I'm pretty much always thinking about my DP when I do that.

When it comes to talking about fantasies, no, never. The closest most guys (in my social circles) come to expressing a fantasy is "Would you hit that? Yeah, I'd hit that. Ha ha ha". I've not once had a conversation that was more specific than that. But then I'm only able to speak for the groups of guys I've hung out with - we're not all the same, you know.

@RedRoss

Even my dp can't remember the last time he wanked although that's apparently a myth on here

• believe men fantasize a lot more than women.

It's a fact apparently*

Like a lot of stereotypes about sex, I strongly suspect this is not a 'fact' at all. Some men fantasise about sex all the time. So do some women. Some men hardly ever do. Same with some women. Who really cares?

All the time. I financed a 2nd degree with a job as phone sex operator. Most popular ones in order of popularity for 30-50's: partners best friend, partners relative, girl at work, girl in street. Most popular dressing up/role play fantasy in order of popularity: boss & secretary, college girl, patient & naughty nurse
(Threesomes & group sex seemed to be preserve of 18-30's & those calls bored me tbh).

I often fantasize about doing the dog walkers a mischief and what I would do if dh brought in a box of kittens. Around 6-8 times a day I'd say.

@CSIblonde

I'd postulate that your conclusion may have been influenced by your sample group. Judging all men by the men who use phone sex workers is roughly equivalent to me judging all women by Kim Kardashian.

I always find this sort of thing interesting as when in a relationship I don’t fantasise about anyone else at all, but do have a high sex drive. I think I am a bit weird to be honest. I may see attractive people and notice that but in a way you might admire a painting.

I asked DH and he said not that often. He might look another woman over or vaguely think about sex, but not for that long. I have no reason to disbelieve him as we are quite open and talk about stuff like this a lot. He does have a lower sex drive than me, so not sure if that is connected.

Jay from the Inbetweeners has the average man nailed I reckon.

Fantasising (and the frequency of it) is probably an individual thing. Any ‘research’ showing it to be more common in men should be taking account of societal conditioning in both men and women and the effect that might have.

Would I want to know how often my DP fantasises about other people?
No, not at all. It’s his own private thoughts and none of my business, frankly. And the same applies vice versa.

As long as fantasies don’t become a reality then it really doesn’t matter at all.

Sethis
Nope. From aged 22 I was usually only woman on a workfloor of 300 car designers, and then marketing or banking guys. (always ended up in massive corporate buildings) . All my best fiends are male. So I do have some insight of a very wide demographic. I'd also say the demographic on calls was 20% and under 30(they prefer Internet stuff). The rest were white collar professionals 30-50.

I'd also add phone wise the under 30's were usually socially awkward, watched hours of porn etc so had very unrealistic expectations about sex & were v hard work. I much preferred older professional men (who were the majority of callers) who preferred talking to a real woman instead of Internet porn.