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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stick with potty training

41 replies

Dizzylin · 17/11/2018 19:41

Only day 1 of potty training DS who is 3, spent lots of time on potty but not had a wee there yet just had lots of accidents. We haven't been home all day, part of the day was spent at my parents house. Planning on spending the next few days at home to try and get DS to click with potty training.

Trouble is he's not the least bit interested and really has no idea when he wants to wee e.g. getting him ready for bed tonight, sat him on the toilet, he said he'd finished, no wee. Brushing his teeth straight after and he wees all over the floor, obv don't tell him off just clean the wee and him up.

DH wants us to stop and try again another time, I think we should at least see how he goes tomorrow and Monday at home then re-assess if he's not showing any interest.

AIBU?

OP posts:
nottakingthisanymore · 17/11/2018 19:42

Yes I’d probably stick at it for another couple of days.

Fatted · 17/11/2018 19:46

Stay at home and give it the week. If there's no improvement in that time then go back to nappies. Also, keep the nappies on at night until they're dry in the day.

Yura · 17/11/2018 19:52

Wait until he’s ready. Being stuck at home for days on end sounds like pure misery to me, and if he has no clue when he needs to wee... maybe give reusable nappies a go so he does feel wet and gets the idea without the frustration of being stuck at home for days. You can hire kits as buying doesn’t make much sense at his age.

cadburyegg · 17/11/2018 20:00

YANBU stay at home for a couple of days, then venture out for short trips only, if he doesn’t get the gist within the week go back to nappies.

It’s normal for it to be hard work initially but you should see this paying off fairly soon if he’s ready.

I also found kind reminders of “ok remember next time wee and poo goes in the potty” useful.

We successfully trained DS1 in April at 3y 2m. Horrendous for the first few days then he got it.

Worsethingshappen · 17/11/2018 20:43

I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic and will likely be slated for this, but I don’t understand why kids aren’t potty trained til they are so old. Why do people leave it so long? It puzzles me. Wiping poo from a walking, talking independent child is very unpleasant. Once they are older it seems more complicated and more of a battle against what has grown comfortable for the child.
I really don’t know what to advise you. My parents generation trained babies well before 2 years. My 4 kids trained between 18-27 months of age within a few days/week. They aren’t especially smart or unusual compared to their peers. But I did always point out and acknowledge with them when they did a wee or poo since they were babies. I don’t know if that made a difference. When I trained them I stayed at home for a few days and they were naked from waist down and this seemed to help them be aware of their urges. I never made them sit on the potty or routinely sat them on but just pointed out that wee’s snd poo’s belonged there. If they did a wee or poop I gently took them to the potty and cleaned them up there after showing them where wee/poo went. I didn’t reward or punish. Just remained neutral and factual. Don’t know if any of that will work for you.

Original poster
Dizzylin · 18/11/2018 14:18

I didn't ask for your opinion on how old he is worsethingshappen we have our reasons for waiting until now.

Thank you everybody else, day 2 isn't going too well either but we will persevere.

OP posts:
Jimdandy · 18/11/2018 14:22

@Worsethingshappen I agree I think that’s the root of the most of the problems people have now. They leave it until their too old and then wearing a nappy just becomes “normal” so you have to get over that first before anything. If you do it at 2 they can’t “remember” any different.

LadyCurd · 18/11/2018 14:29

Ignore poster aboves unhelpful commentary. I’m in same boat, day 1 of potty training a reluctant 3yr 1month old. Hugely advanced in most areas but zero interest in potty training (they can’t be good at everything!) so we left it as so much easier when they are really ready. Potty trained her older two sisters easily before 2.5 (though middleone still has fecal continence issues now she is 6 so it’s been a long long journey which think is also why I’m in no hurry!). I was all set to leave it to Feb half term (to take pressure off preschool and nursery) but last week they were really pressuring me to get her started so giving it a go today but as yet zero success! So many wee accidents within moments of her getting off the potty for a try! So currently she is sat on potty with an iPad and loads of drink so we can just get one successful wee! Let’s be potty training buddies. :)

BenjiB · 18/11/2018 14:46

No I wouldn’t stick with it. I never toilet trained either of my younger two. They both asked around 3 for underwear and had been usubf the toilet when they didn’t have nappies on. From the day they they stopped wearing nappies they never had an accident .

Original poster
Dizzylin · 18/11/2018 14:47

Thank you Ladycurd, unfortunately there's always a few on every thread that seem to want to voice an opinion that's neither helpful or needed.

We're struggling to get DS to stay put on the potty, he will sit on it for a few seconds announce he's done then refuse to sit on it any longer. I have manged to get him to stay on it watching the JCB song video in YouTube, so fingers crossed we will get a wee by the end of the day. DD was much easier than this, she only took 2 days but was very much ready.

Good luck with your LO.

OP posts:
Jeezoh · 18/11/2018 14:50

I trained all mine over the age of 3 with no issues. I’d give it til the end of day 3 and if there’s no breakthrough by then, give it a month or so and try again

Original poster
Dizzylin · 18/11/2018 14:54

I think that us what we are going to do.

Thank you.

OP posts:
LadyCurd · 18/11/2018 14:57

Currently hysteria here as she sat on potty so long she got a numb bum has had tons of water and is clearly desperate for a wee but won’t let go! (In a way a plus sign she can hold it) but now tantrumming for a nappy! This week we have step mother in law (who has no kids) looking after them so we might well abandon for another time!!

Original poster
Dizzylin · 18/11/2018 14:59

My DS does not want a nappy on at all, he was very upset when we put a nappy on him last night for bed, he loves his "knickers" (DH hates him calling them that lol)

OP posts:
gerispringer · 18/11/2018 15:03

I think you just need to go for it - buy him some big boy pants - leave nappies off and just deal with the accidents. He wont ever "get it" when wearing nappies. A normal 3 year old is well past being "ready", it just takes a while to get the message especially if you've put it off for ages. Just say - nappies are for babies, maybe try a star chart - 1 star for sitting on pot for a couple of minutes - 2 for wee etc. Might help if your DH takes him to the toilet with him so he can see it in action so to speak.

OhHolyJesus · 18/11/2018 15:06

Stick at it! Cracked it on Day 4. DH is expecting miracles if he think it's a matter of one day and it has to be done some time. Don't cave unless you see literally no improvement after a few days, literally nothing but even a tiny recognition of needing a weeping or doing a wee is progress.

MatildaTheCat · 18/11/2018 15:08

I had a reluctant toddler and I spent a few days at home putting him on the potty every half hour and rewarding each wee with a smartie. A story on the potty was quite helpful in getting him to sit there.

We did crack the weeds fairly easily but poos were a whole different story. They get there eventually. If he genuinely doesn’t relate the feeling of a full bladder to needing a wee then until that clicks it will be tricky.

blackcat86 · 18/11/2018 15:17

He has he watched you and DH go to the toilet so he knows that it's where everyone goes? I've heard of that helping

Original poster
Dizzylin · 18/11/2018 16:22

We've had 2 wees on the potty!

We have a reward chart and he's so pleased with himself he keeps sitting on the potty to try now.

He always follows me to the toilet so definitely knows what it is for.

We are just keeping nappies for bed time.

OP posts:
Tobebythesea · 18/11/2018 16:31

That’s great news! Keep going!

Bugsymalonemumof2 · 18/11/2018 16:36

I tried constantly with my dd from 2 to 3 and she just wasnt ready. Then tried again after a few months and she cracked it in 48 hours.

The generation of trained before 2 seem to have different ideas of what it meant to be toilet trained

ilovekale · 18/11/2018 16:40

What worked with my DS (2) was making a big fuss out of him when he used the potty. He wanted to be clapped at and as a result started wanting potty.

EmeraldShamrock · 18/11/2018 16:42

If he is already gone off a nappy, it won't be much longer. I would stick with it, he will get after some accidents. I got football stickers and put them inside but at the front of the potty. He could see the sticker when he sat down, it encouraged him to aim pee on it Grin

Original poster
Dizzylin · 18/11/2018 17:04

Thank you everybody for your constructive replies. So glad we didn't give up, obviously there are still going to be accidents but I feel more positive about it now.

OP posts:
LadyCurd · 18/11/2018 19:36

Sounds great! We had similar breakthrough. After all the trauma and hysteria and almost giving up as it seemed too cruel she managed half a wee on the potty which I went overboard on the praise for (FaceTiming grandparents, aunties etc etc) quite a few more accidents after that then a successful wee and then for last two hours before bed, 4 wees on the potty and no accidents! She went and packed herself a nursery bag of spare pants and clothes for tomorrow and um looks like we are sticking with it! Fingers crossed! I have no doubt there will be loads of accidents tomorrow and not looking forward to the poos given I still have to deal with 6yo’s poo issues!