Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wants to eat fruit cake for breakfast

116 replies

LadyinLavende · 17/11/2018 14:35

To put this in context, I live in France and DH is French.
Last week a friend who was in the UK brought me back a slab of iced fruitcake.
it is in a plastic box and I have eaten a piece every day so what is left is approximately either 3 largish slices or 4 small ones.
This morning DH got in a strop because I said it wasn't reasonable for him to "finish it up" for breakfast (and if I hadn't intervened he would have eaten it all) ..... there was plenty of breakfast food in - French bread (butter, jam, honey, marmite, peanut butter), brioche, cereal....he doesn't even particularly like fruitcake whereas for me it's a real treat and replacing it is not as simple as just going to buy another slab - I had it specially "imported".
He got very moody when I said I didn't think he should eat fruit cake for breakfast....and muttered the whole time he was eating his bread and marmelade. I wouldn't even have begrudged him a piece but I know what he's like... he'd have scoffed the lot.
AIBU?

OP posts:
sirfredfredgeorge · 17/11/2018 14:37

YABU for policing when someone eats a particular food.

YWBU for stopping him finishing a difficult to obtain food.

So yes, you should have said "we don't have much fruitcake, you're welcome to a bit, but I'd like some saved so I can …."

onthenaughtystepagain · 17/11/2018 14:39

Do you try to dictate everything about his life, poor chap? I would invest in a strong box for 'your' special food, not to be shared with him!

ElspethFlashman · 17/11/2018 14:40

You're being a bit wierd about this cake.

It's not your last meal on Death Row.

It's also not a cake you couldn't bake yourself if you miss it so much. I'm sure the entire country of France have the ingredients somewhere.

Userplusnumbers · 17/11/2018 14:40

I mean, he's an adult - he can eat fruitcake for breakfast, so you are unreasonable for telling him what he should and shouldn't eat for breakfast.

Not unreasonable to expect him tk leave yoh some though

Heratnumber7 · 17/11/2018 14:42

Make more?

Slytherdor · 17/11/2018 14:44

He’s an adult, he can eat what he likes for breakfast, but that’s a red herring.

The key here is- it’s yours. YANBU to tell him not to eat the cake your friend brought you as a gift. If he keeps sulking, make it clear that it was yours and your would not eat something that was his. Leave it at that.

Clare45BST · 17/11/2018 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LadyinLavende · 17/11/2018 14:48

Elspeth and Herat: I do make cake quite a lot but iced fruit cake is more complicated as it takes so much longer and you'd be surprised just how difficult it is to obtain the right ingredients in rural France..... and I really don't have time to bake just now.

OP posts:
Frenchfemme · 17/11/2018 14:52

I second the difficulty of obtaining some ingredients for fruit cake (& mincemeat) in rural France!

blueskiesandforests · 17/11/2018 14:54

Unimaginative people who haven't lived permanently / very long term outside their country of birth and childhood are likely not to be capable of empathising because they cannot understand the significance which attaches itself to hard to obtain native foods (as illustrated in several posts already) .

Obviously its true that your DH is an adult and can eat what he wants for breakfast, be it mars bars or ice-cream or roast chicken or fried grasshoppers for breakfast if he wants - his choice.

However he is being a collosal unfeeling selfish bellend demanding to eat 3 large slices of fruit cake given to you as a gift and which (unless he is spectacularly self obsessed and unobservant) he must no has very significantly more importance to you than it does to him.

YANBU

Sirzy · 17/11/2018 14:55

It’s not unreasonable not to want him to eat it all

It is unreasonable to try to decide what is and isn’t suotbale food for an adult

blueskiesandforests · 17/11/2018 14:55

*know not no, bell-end not bellend Blush

Alonglongnight · 17/11/2018 14:56

I don't really see how French bread and marmalade or brioche is much different from a piece of cake in terms of food tbh. It's all simple carbs with no real nutritious benefit, so on that count yabu, let him eat what he wants for breakfast.

If you want your cake for yourself, fair enough, just tell him and he should accept it although you do seem quite bothered by it. Is this a one off or do you generally not like sharing your stuff? Or is he always so stroppy when he doesn't get his way?

Chickychoccyegg · 17/11/2018 14:58

yanbu, it's your cake, why should dh get to eat it all, how selfish of him

RubyLux · 17/11/2018 14:59

I was composing a post in response to this but then I* read blueskiesandforest's* post. All I wanted to say is right there.

raisedbyguineapigs · 17/11/2018 14:59

It can be quite difficult to get black treacle outside the UK so it's difficult to get the right colour and flavour. I love fruitcake but luckily I'm in a minority of 1 in my house

Villanellesproudmum · 17/11/2018 15:00

I’m with you OP, I love a good fruitcake, not just a fruit cake but a fruit fruit cake, solid with fruit, I’d have hidden it as soon as friend arrived with it and not shared it at all. Think that was your mistake in the first place.

RubyLux · 17/11/2018 15:00

Stupid bolding.

Blanchedupetitpois · 17/11/2018 15:02

YANBU to stop him being a greedy pig and finishing your cake. He could have had a piece if he could be trusted to only have that, but it sounds like he’d have finished it.

EmUntitled · 17/11/2018 15:02

It sounds like you have eaten the majority of the cake so far. Cut what is left in half - he can have half and eat it whenever he wants. You can have the other half and eat it when you want.

YANBU to not want him to eat all your remaining cake. However, it being breakfast time is kind of irrelevant.

Bunchofdaffodils · 17/11/2018 15:02

😍omg I love Christmas/wedding cake and would be heartbroken if he’d eaten it all! You just need to potion him a bit and hide the rest😏

Maelstrop · 17/11/2018 15:03

Honestly, he's being a sulky baby, not attractive in an adult. It was brought over specially for you and is a special treat. I totally get it, hence my frequent booze runs to France used to always include a list of foods you can't get in the UK, which the dh wouldn't touch because he knew how much I missed them.

It was the highlight of my last school trip going to Carrefour!

Runnynosehunny · 17/11/2018 15:03

Its not U to eat it for breakfast but if it is a special treat for you, whereas he doesn't much like it he should leave it all for you imo. An iced fruitcake that is well wrapped does not need to be 'finished up'. Or perhaps he does like it now he tried it and that's why he was annoyed, but if so he should still share it fairly with you if there are 4 slices left then 2 each.

PattiStanger · 17/11/2018 15:04

As an adult I'd expect to eat what I wanted when I wanted, surely the issue isn't about when he's eating it but about being considerate about something in short supply

DogInATent · 17/11/2018 15:05

You are both being unreasonable.

He got very moody when I said I didn't think he should eat fruit cake for breakfast - that was unreasonable. And it also sounds like you haven't been sharing any of this cake with him, which is also unreasonable.

He was being unreasonable if he wanted to finish it all up. But unless you are keeping it all to yourself it's reasonable for him to choose when he has his allowed slice.

Nothing wrong with fruitcake for breakfast. It fries up nicely with bacon.