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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wants to eat fruit cake for breakfast

116 replies

LadyinLavende · 17/11/2018 14:35

To put this in context, I live in France and DH is French.
Last week a friend who was in the UK brought me back a slab of iced fruitcake.
it is in a plastic box and I have eaten a piece every day so what is left is approximately either 3 largish slices or 4 small ones.
This morning DH got in a strop because I said it wasn't reasonable for him to "finish it up" for breakfast (and if I hadn't intervened he would have eaten it all) ..... there was plenty of breakfast food in - French bread (butter, jam, honey, marmite, peanut butter), brioche, cereal....he doesn't even particularly like fruitcake whereas for me it's a real treat and replacing it is not as simple as just going to buy another slab - I had it specially "imported".
He got very moody when I said I didn't think he should eat fruit cake for breakfast....and muttered the whole time he was eating his bread and marmelade. I wouldn't even have begrudged him a piece but I know what he's like... he'd have scoffed the lot.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Wildheartsease · 17/11/2018 15:05

He shouldn't eat it all (just his share) but I don't see why he couldn't have his piece for breakfast. The other foods you listed aren't much different as far as nutrition is concerned. (Actually the fruit cake has more fibre and might well be better.)

EnglishRose13 · 17/11/2018 15:05

Could you not make more fruitcake?

averylongtimeago · 17/11/2018 15:05

Dried fruit is v expensive in our part of rural France. Glacé cherries were over 4€ a tub. You can get marzipan but again it's €€€.

It is possible to get le cake anglais but trust me, it is not the same.

So, yanbu, hide the rest of it OP!

I feel the same way about my carefully hoarded extra mature cheddar.

QuietContraryMary · 17/11/2018 15:07

It's France, not Timbuktu. Order another fruit cake online.

naicepineapple · 17/11/2018 15:07

I can't imagine being so precious about food that I wouldn't share it with my husband.
You've already had a slice every day since last week and you begrudge your DH the equivalent of 3 slices.
It's quite bizarre to tell another adult what they're allowed to eat in their own house. No wonder he was pissed off.

averylongtimeago · 17/11/2018 15:07

Oh and I have never seen black treacle. Golden syrup appears occasionally in the foreign food section at eye watering prices.

halfwitpicker · 17/11/2018 15:08

C'est correct. S'il veux le gâteaux pour déjeuner c'est n'est pas le fin de la monde Cake

SilverOnToast · 17/11/2018 15:09

I’m coming back to the U.K. for Christmas this year for the first time in ages and you have just reminded me of fruitcake and how special and unobtainable the ingredients are in most places. I’ll add it to my list of things to bring back. YANBU.

Runnynosehunny · 17/11/2018 15:09

Order yourself another one to be sent over OP, since he enjoys it so much he won't mind the cost.

PigletJohn · 17/11/2018 15:10

"I have eaten a piece every day "

and you want to stop him having some?

YABU.

Foreverexhausted · 17/11/2018 15:12

Brilliant this has made me smile.

The issue isn;t his choice of breakfast it's your annoyance at him wanting to 'finish up' the rest of the cake which you want to eat despite having eaten most of it yourself already! :)

Stop being ridiculous!

He can eat whatever he wants for breakfast as can you.

Get your friend to send over another cake.

Crinkle77 · 17/11/2018 15:13

Well if he wants to eat cake that's up to him but he would be unreasonable to eat the last 3/4 slices of the cake that was bought especially for you.

howabout · 17/11/2018 15:14

Let him eat cake Grin

But actually I would also struggle to share having had similar issues while living in the US. I have a massive fruit cake with too much rum in it in my kitchen. My DH has volunteered to take it off my hands so I can make a decent home made one for Christmas. Sorry, really on the fence on this, but I do consider cake for breakfast the ultimate decadence.

TatianaLarina · 17/11/2018 15:15

You can buy ‘cake anglais’ on Amazon.

Equally you could do a bulk order of say 6 from the U.K. to keep you going, they don’t go off.

blueskiesandforests · 17/11/2018 15:15

This cake was brought back for LadyinLavende why do so many pisters seem to think 50% of it is the rightful property of her husband? Is it because women have to share? If her husband had been bought some sought after delicacy from abroad which he loves and the OP is meh about, would he be obliged to give half to the OP as her share?

If someone bought you a box of your favourite chocolates for your birthday would half of them belong to your husband?

If someone boufht you an expensive shampoo or shower gel you loved, would you be obliged to share it 50/50 with your husband despite having plenty of your usual supermarket brand and him not loving the scent/ product nearly as much as you?

TatianaLarina · 17/11/2018 15:15

Amazon France I mean.

petbear · 17/11/2018 15:15

Let him eat what he wants.

You would be on here calling him a control freak if the shoe was on the other foot!

TatianaLarina · 17/11/2018 15:16

I suspect DH likes fruit cake more than he claims. Which is often the way, ditto Christmas pudding...

ForalltheSaints · 17/11/2018 15:17

howabout if the OP just said that I expect her DP would never eat cake again, if he knows son histoire. Mind you, to ask a French person to have marmalade seems a step too far.

Stephisaur · 17/11/2018 15:17

YABU saying you can’t eat fruit cake for breakfast. I more or less have it for every meal over Christmas Grin

YANBU for telling him to leave YOUR fruit cake alone. It’s your treat and you’re allowed to be possessive of it!

howabout · 17/11/2018 15:17

My DH is also French and loves fruitcake.

Is there a "Vive la revolution" embargo on it in France or something do you think?

DeRigueurMortis · 17/11/2018 15:17

I don't think you're unreasonable in this instance.

It's something that's a real treat for you and he's just eating it a bit mindlessly.

I had a run in over something similar with DH - a food I really love and is a real treat but he's not that fussed about but ate as snack that he appreciates no more or less than other items he could have had. He only did it once Grin.

It's the same with your DH - there were other things for him to eat.

It's not about policing the fridge or being uptight.

If he enjoyed the cake as much as you do then fair enough - but he doesn't, so eating something he knows is a special treat treat to you when there alternatives that he enjoys equally is pretty thoughtless imho.

1frenchfoodie · 17/11/2018 15:19

HWBU to regard eating 3or 4 portions as ‘finishing up’ but YABU if you don’t let him have any.

I live in France too and order dried fruit from Souschef in the UK along with other baking stuff, spices etc I find harder to get/more expensive here. Think you need €90 order for free delivery but you might split with friends if that is hard to get up to. I use the festive fruit cake recipe from Yotam Ottolenghi’s book ‘sweet’ but there are lots of good ones out there.

dontalltalkatonce · 17/11/2018 15:20

So make another one! You can buy the ingredients online. Let him eat it.

Wauden · 17/11/2018 15:20

Maybe he doesn't understand that iced cake is not really meant as breakfast food.Cake

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