To not want husband near our baby

[dhisannoying]

Long story short...but not that short...it's that time of year and the whole family is bogged down with colds.

Dh and I have just had a baby and he is almost 11 weeks old. He is a bit sniffly but not as bad as my husband and I.

What's really starting to piss me off is that DH has this horrendous habit of not covering his mouth or nose when he coughs/sneezes, to a point where he sometimes directly coughs onto our baby.

I have told him time and time again to put his fucking hand up (should I really have to ask?!?!?) but he still isn't getting the message and I'm getting quite angry now and feeling like I don't want him near the baby while he's ill which is breaking my heart.

I don't quite understand how a man of a certain age or anyone of any age older than fucking 4 doesn't automatically put their hand up, especially with a newborn in their arms? I know I'm the one who will suffer the consequences, and more importantly my poor little cherub will if this makes his sniffles gets worse.

AIBU? How can I get him to get a grip without being a total bitch like I'm starting to?

PS he's the most amazing father generally and I'm really quite surprised he even does this because he's got his head screwed on quite tightly.

I say this gently. If he’s going to get the cold he’s going to get the cold. Especially once it’s in the house.

To be fair, your baby is going to catch the cold whether he covers his mouth or not. Simply breathing on him is enough. It sucks but there's not much you can do aside from live in a sealed bubble.

Honestly? You’re being a bit over the top here. Your DH is not going to make this worse. I understand you want to protect your baby but you can’t stop them from getting colds and you could argue you don’t want to.

That’s disgusting, what a minger. Maybe you could buy him a surgical face mask to wear like Michael Jackson so he doesn’t spray his snot over everyone else?

You could try getting your husband to google bronchiolitis.

If he coughs or sneezes into his hand and then touches the baby, or any other object in the house before he washes his hands, then he’s going to be transferring germs. Coughing or sneezing into the baby’s face is gross, but coughing or sneezing into his hand or into the air isn’t much better.

On the plus side, your baby is nearly three months old and when he reaches that age you can use infant cold medications and vapor rub plug ins etc. I'd stock up now if I were you.

it's a bit gross of dh, but is this your first child ? babies and young children catch colds as easily as, well, sneezing, and unless there are auto immune / medical reasons you can't really expect to protect them from every negative bacteria going, it's just not feasible.

Nocoolnamesleft exactly my thoughts.
My baby was in hospital on oxygen at 7 months, babies the same age as ops were in icu

I understand your woes, it may be just being mother bear, but I would say it's probably more about the fact that he's not listening or learning from your requests - BTW the best way to catch a sneeze is to sneeze into your elbow, rather than your hand... my 5YO and 8YO know this...especially as it isn't always easy to get a tissue when you sneeze... try teaching him that?!

Unfortunately baby will catch a cold whether from OH or just generally from germs everywhere. It's crap but babies and toddlers pretty much have a runny nose and sniffles from 6 months until (and beyond!) school!

I'm not sure that Michael Jackson's behavior was ever a good model for healthy living.

Baby or not somebody who doesn’t cover their mouth when they sneeze or cough is gross. That’s vile.

Actually he should be coughing and sneezing into his elbow, as we all should.

YANBU OP, it doesn't matter that the germs are in the house, coughing and sneezing over anyone is bloody vile and posters saying otherwise are idiots. Others in my house get germs and bugs and I don't get them. It's not inevitable that everyone gets the germs if people are sensible.

Its pathetic for a grown man not to sneeze into his elbow or even turn his head away.

Sneezes fire germs out at 100mph and coughs 50mph. Not to mention water vapour and mucus. Right into your babys face! How would he like it if you started doing it to.him?

No you cant stop your baby getting a cold but there is no need to purposely infect them over and over. Would he do it to a work mate or a client at work? Doubt it as they would give him hell.

@whyamIsocold jeez, calm down, will you? Calling people idiots left, right and centre... I'm not suggesting it's anyone's right to sneeze or cough on anyone, of course it is ill mannered. But, coughs and colds can spread just from breathing, coughing and sneezing isn't essential to spread them. I too don't get many colds because my immune system is pretty damn good (touch wood). It seems yours is too, congratulations (or you don't get other people breathing on you very often). But a baby's won't be, so yes, in all likelihood the baby will get the cold, even with scrupulous attention to personal hygiene. And in all likelihood he will recover and it'll be fine.

It's really gross not to cover your mouth when coughing or sneezing.

Although your baby will likely get any cold brought into the house even if your husband doesn't cover his mouth.

*even if your husband Did cover his mouth

Honestly sneezing and coughing into anyone's face is just disgusting. Have a word, doesn't matter if he'll catch a cold anyway, it's basic manners. Yuck, he's vile.

He sounds disgusting < not envy

Just an update...he's come upstairs to bring a bottle up for me to put my expressed milk in over night and coughed right into it.

He's bloody disgusting.

And no I won't calm down thanks. An adult coughing and sneezing over everything with no attempt to cove their mouth is disgusting.

OP, I am with you here. Your baby is still tiny and it's very selfish to cough and sneeze next to your DS. He should be wearing a mask really.
Coughing onto the bottle or a baby is pretty selfish. He sounds quite unhygienic to be honest. I bet he wipes his nose with his fingers and doesn't wash his hands afterwards.

If you're breastfeeding you're still sharing antibodies with your baby and supporting their immune system, so there's that.

But your baby is going to be exposed to the colds just by sharing space with him.

But your DH is gross.

YANBU. That’s just gross baby or no baby. I agree if the little one is going to get it then he’s going to get it but there’s no need for anyone to be hacking and spluttering into other people’s faces or onto their food. Yak.