Being left to eat alone in a pub because I'd annoyed him?

[StrugglingWife]

Out with the OH at a busy pub - ordered our drinks and food. I asked him a question (about tax of all things) and he gave an answer that didn't really give me the info I needed and I wanted to know to continue in the conversation we were in. I got my phone to look it up on google and he asked me to put my phone away saying that I "didn't need to know the answer now" - I continued to look - he got up and walked out - leaving me alone in the pub (we were staying over and he went back to the room) I felt humiliated when the waitress came out with both our meals and I had to send his back. I ate my dinner alone - went back to the room where he was acting like it was me who was totally out of order. Next morning he said he would do the same thing again if the situation arose - even knowing how hurt I felt. AIBU to think that he was being a disrespectful arsehole??

[BumsexAtTheBingo]

Well he’s obviously not going to change so it’s up to you really whether you are prepared to carry on putting up with him punishing you when you don’t do what you’re told.

[fruitbrewhaha]

She wasn't fucking about on her phone!

DP: So I was thinking we should be putting more into our pension scheme, we are able to invest £30K a year tax free.
OP: Oh, yawn, really. I'm just going to look up cats falling over on the internet then.

That would be fucking around.

DP: So I was thinking we should be putting more into our pension scheme, we are able to invest £30K a year tax free.
OP: Ah, really, I thought it was only £20K, let me have a look.
DP: Put your phone away.
OP:What? I'm just having a look.
DP: Fuck this, I'm off!

Is what happened!

[Holdingonbarely]

This with bells on

[Lweji]

I don't think you should stay with this man.
It's unfortunate that you run your business together, but, if possible, continue as business partners but not romantic partners.

Listen to what he says. He doesn't regret his behaviour and he'll do it again. He's telling you how he will treat you.
You have to choose if you want to be treated this way or not.

[pallisers]

He clearly didn’t want you on your phone but you persisted. I think it’s bad manners to be online when in company.

She was at a business dinner with the guy she works with on a work trip discussing taxes that affect the business. He also happens to be her partner. It isn't "company".

[fruitbrewhaha]

I'm so cross on your behalf OP.

The bar is still open you know, that's where I'd be now.

[Yidette86]

Reading through some of these comments are frustrating.. Can't believe some are totally missing the important details and get hung up on the minor details, get over yourselves. Unhelpful comments.

op your dh is displaying some rather controlling behaviour, their reaction is actually very ott and whether it's silent treatment or leaving you on your own to eat in a busy pub it's unacceptable. He sounds rather narcissistic.

[BumsexAtTheBingo]

Whether you disagree with someone being on their phone or not you can behave like an adult and have a conversation about it instead of giving someone the silent treatment or storming off. The op was quickly looking something up not suggesting spending the entire meal on her phone ignoring him. He’s a controlling arse who can’t accept not getting his own way.

[Yidette86]

Some of you clearly can't read properly.. op ignore the unhelpful comments from people who obviously haven't bothered to read the thread properly and therefore skimming over the fact that it was not a romantic intimate date, he brought up the subject, tried to close it as soon as you tried to establish facts regarding the subject.. The people excusing his behaviour are probably just as rude themselves

[Lunde]

vinobell: sorry haven't read the whole thread... but my DH does this on his phone when we are out.... and it REALLY irritates me. it ruins they whole social environment of being in a pub in my opinion. i often ask him to put it away, he gets arsey and then we argue, ruining the night.

Sorry but you really need to as this wasn't a social event

OP and DP are on a business trip and discussing business plans. The DP started a discussion of tax rules that OP felt was incorrect and used her phone for 60seconds to clarify that what they were discussing was actually correct. DP storms off leaving business issue unresolved

[Willow2017]

Actually I think you rbu. He clearly didn’t want you on your phone but you persisted. I think it’s bad manners to be online when in company.

Ffs op wasnt in company!
She was discussing business with her business partner and wanted to.check if he had the correct information before they moved on with the decision. Hardly pissing about on the internet.
If my business partner didnt want me to check something was right i would be bloody suspiscious. And if he stropped off like a 2yr old or continued giving me the silent treatment i would be even more suspicious and he wouldnt be my business partner nor my oh much longer.

Something a bit wrong with a grown man who cannot bear to be questioned on his 'facts'.

[MadeleineMaxwell]

Should've eaten his dinner to give you more energy to run the fuck away from this controlling arse.

[Willow2017]

Sorry haven't read the whole thread.

Maybe you should before you post something completely irrelevant?

It wasnt a social occaision your situation was totally different.

[ContessaHallelujahSparklehorse]

He didn't like the fact that you didn't just believe him blindly. Him stomping off shows that very clearly.

I suggest that next time, you don't check your phone. Instead simply say "I think I need to check that later, I'm not sure that's right". If he tries to continue the conversation as if he is right, just keep saying that you'll need to check the fact as you're not sure about it. I bet you money he will get just as pissed off at you as he did today.

[moredoll]

Sorry, didn't fully understand when I posted earlier.

It kind of scared me to think that maybe he doesn't want me to know. When he came into my business he took over the finances stuff so I've had little to do with the day to day of it for a while. I'm spending some time this week getting up to date on what's what.

I'm guessing he's feeling guilty about something he doesn't want you to know.
The drama about the phone is all smoke and mirrors to distract you from a potentially serious problem.

[StrugglingWife]

@fruitbrewhaha - were you in the pub - you seem to have gotten the conversation pretty much bang on!

@MadeleineMaxwell - he'd ordered some kind of veggie curry - had it been a hearty pie I might have done

[StrugglingWife]

@moredoll - don't worry - it's hard to give all the background in a short post. The fact that even after the event he still insists he was right to walk away leaving me there is most upsetting and actually, as others have said, almost warning me not to EVER try to disobey again!

[StrugglingWife]

@willow2017 - thank you and you're right - it is wrong to be so sensitive to someone asking a fairly question to clarify something.

He even admitted the next day that had I been one of the blokes in the team he wouldn't have done it....so it's just arsey behaviour that he saves up for his wife!

[StrugglingWife]

I also just thought that there will be folks saying - she's answering a lot of questions so she MUST be on her phone a lot. What's her poor DH doing while she's on mumsnet? - well....as is usual for me, I've driven 250+ miles away from home, worked all day and am holed up in a hotel on my lonesome watching the news

[Jacksback]

He is not being sensitive !
That’s what he wants you to think
He is being controlling
Check all ur financial details of your business with a fine tooth comb ( don’t be naive here )
and then really think about what he is actually saying with this behaviour
Is that what you want ?
Listen to the people on here ,who are not blinded by the rude to be on your phone comments - the same word comes up time and again - controlling

[Franinipancake]

I think that too - about checking your financial details.

You checked one fact on your phone to better contribute to the conversation about business you were having on your work trip (I mention just in case anyone else in the phone police wants to comment without bothering to even read the original post). There's no way he would have behaved like this - storming out - with anyone else. I think it's very controlling and troubling too. I'd be so upset if it was me.

[Brazenhussy0]

I wouldn’t want a man like this anywhere near my business, OP.

It could be that he’s hiding a big fuck up, ripping you off, resentful that you are the smarter/more successful of the pair of you, or he could be a controlling wanker who believes his word is the final word.

None of those options are good. Give some serious consideration to removing him from your business and/or ending the relationship. You don’t need him.

[StoppinBy]

I hate going out with people who are always looking at their phone, in fact it really really annoys me but you were looking up something that you were mutually talking about so I can't see why he would be mad about that.

IMO he is BU.

[Nanny0gg]

I'm spending some time this week getting up to date on what's what.

I think that sounds like a very good idea.

Are you now equal partners in this business?

[Racecardriver]

YWBU. You fit taking out your phone. Him for throwing a strop. You for getting upset. Him for refusing to apologise. Are both always this childish?