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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boring hen party

35 replies

Hisnamesblaine · 15/11/2018 16:02

My good friend is getting married next year. She had loads of different ideas but has now settled for one n nights stay at a golf club spa type place. Meal treatment etc all in all 300quid. I personally feel that's alot. And not entirely my cup of tea. But I do appreciate its her choice. U can get all the days facilities and a treatment for around 80quid on wowcher/Groupon. Would it be horrible of me just to do that and join them that way. I only work part time so I could plead poverty. However I would have found the money if we were doing something abit more exciting.Grin also to add afew other people are dropping out due to price

OP posts:
RiverTam · 15/11/2018 16:03

it does seem quite expensive but equally sounds nice and chilled out.

SilverLining10 · 15/11/2018 16:06

Maybe suggest that it could be done cheaper if many people are dropping out. Everyone could just arrive early and spend the entire day together. What's the need to sleep over?

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 15/11/2018 16:06

Hmmmm tricky It is a lot of money to ask of people so YANBU as long as you make an effort to go to the day bit.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 15/11/2018 16:06

That does sound like a lot of money for what is involved. Think I'd go down the Wowcher route as I would be loathe to spend that.

ChaosMoon · 15/11/2018 16:08

Not unreasonable to suggest it. Frustrating for the organisers, but perhaps a better option than not going at all.

Atalune · 15/11/2018 16:09

Sounds like a TERRIBLE deal!

I stay overnight at a lovely spa hotel with dinner break and breakfast and a bottle of wine plus 1 treatment for £150.

Original poster
Hisnamesblaine · 15/11/2018 16:09

Don't get me wrong it looks like a bice place but it's only down the road so I kinda dont see the point in staying

OP posts:
poglets · 15/11/2018 16:11

Tell everyone and save the money for yourself, the Bride..tequila....,

It isn't that you don't want to go. Speak up. I'd love you if you were saving me cash.

TheRenegadeMaster · 15/11/2018 16:11

So expensive, I wouldn't do it!! Then you have to think about how much you will spend at the actual wedding, a new outfit, transport, another overnight stay maybe ? A gift too.

Brides expect way too much from their guests these days. I turned down a sim

TheRenegadeMaster · 15/11/2018 16:12

Similar hen party invite also, would have required me to take a day of leave (was on 0 hour shift contract so no holidays) and around £300 too. I declined.

Original poster
Hisnamesblaine · 15/11/2018 16:13

What makes it so expensive is the add ons...... cream tea cocktail making. I'm really not arsed

OP posts:
Blanchedupetitpois · 15/11/2018 16:13

Why not tell everyone to get the groupon?

CurbsideProphet · 15/11/2018 16:14

YANBU. I'll be having a weekend lunch for my hen do, as I can't imagine expecting friends to use their annual leave and hard earned money to celebrate my life choices.

NonaGrey · 15/11/2018 16:14

I could afford it but I absolutely wouldn’t pay that for someone’s Hen night. It’s not a reasonable amount.

I’d be unfortunately unavailable that weekend.

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/11/2018 16:16

£300 to wallow around in water and have strangers poke at me in the name of "treatment"?
I'm rather eat my own eyes.

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/11/2018 16:20

Also may I add that next week I'm staying in a naice B&B in Edinburgh for two nights and having a tasting menu in a Michelin starred restaurant.
Less than £300 for two people.

Lordofmyflies · 15/11/2018 16:23

that sounds really expensive. Ive just finished organising one for a friend for the same price - I managed to get 2 nights luxury accommodation, entry to day spa, food / meals out for the 3 days, cocktail making lesson and a hen activity for that.

Original poster
Hisnamesblaine · 15/11/2018 16:29

I was afdeed on to a group chat with the other hand and don't really know most of them the matron of honour seems really pushy. I've never met her. But yes I'm on a pittance and I know there could be better deals to be found. For certain! I don't think they will like being told it's too expensive. I'm abit scared to say anything... But I can not pay that kind of money

OP posts:
TheRenegadeMaster · 15/11/2018 16:38

@Hisnamesblaine

Just say

Hey! Thank you so much for the invite, sounds like a really lovely day but I wasn't expecting it to cost that much. As you know I do work part time so money is already stretched, so I won't be able to afford this Sad I'm so sorry I hope you understand and all have a lovely time! X

Eliza9917 · 15/11/2018 16:39

Suggest it in the group then, everyone will be hoping someone will. You be that person and everyone you don't yet know will love you when you all go.

And, I bet you're all paying for the bride's ticket too. And maybe the MOH is a cheeky fucker and secured a free place for her as host which is why she wouldn't want any interference.

ElideLochan · 15/11/2018 16:42

come on, we're right behind you, pull up those big girl pants and send that message

whats the worst that can happen?

highinthesky · 15/11/2018 16:44

Can't you just be honest and say that you cannot afford it? You can give her a good send off before her wedding without sacrificing an arm and a leg.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 15/11/2018 16:44

It's a horrible job organising a Hen night which could be why the MOH seems pushy.
Really though you need to say something. The bride might like a smaller group or she might want the numbers. I'd tell everyone about the voucher though, why not?

BumbleBeee69 · 15/11/2018 16:46

£300 Hmm

it's a No from me, stay at home and drink Baileys Grin

TC07 · 15/11/2018 16:47

I went to a hen do like this and it was actually alright. Plus, a lot of groupon/wowcher deals like this are for midweek and don't tend to be for weekends where they are busier.