To think my friend is taking the Nativity play a bit too seriously

[justfloatingpast]

She's been on the phone to me for ages complaining that the part of Mary has gone to a girl who only joined the school a few weeks ago and her daughter has asked to be Mary for the last three years (she's 8) and has never been cast and it's really not fair etc etc etc

I presume practically every girl in the class puts their hand up when asked who wants to be Mary this year, and the teacher has to pick one child.

My friend is really annoyed and wondering if she should say something to the teacher. Her daughter isn't a child who's constantly being overlooked. She plays on the school football team and was part of a group who won a prize for a project and were featured in a local newspaper.

AIBU to think she's over reacting and should just let it go?

I always wanted to be an angel in the nativity and I got picked to be the narrator, apparantly because I was an advanced reader, although mum might have been trying to talk up the role because I was DEVESTATED that I didn’t get to wear tinsel on my head!

She needs to get over it.

I would have loved to be Mary. Best I ever got was a shepherd and my costume was an old sheet. Mary was always the teachers pet

I.think I just had the right hair.

in the Middle Ages thousands upon thousands of words were written debating the likely colour of Mary's hair. A strong case was put it to have been red!

Many decades ago, my school insisted on casting by hair colour. E.g., Mary had to be very dark and angels blonde or at least vaguely fair.

Curly redheads? Not even the innkeeper who attempted to house them but one of the ones who sent them away.

Not that I'm bitter.

I was Mary. I didn't feel Joseph was pulling his weight so I handed him the baby Jesus half way through the manger scene. He handed him back, and we passed him back and forth for the remainder of the play! Joseph is a profession actor these days. I like to think I kick started his career.

Encourage her to go in and complain. A lot of staffrooms could use the laugh.

Overreacting.... sounds like one of the parents I know. My DS has upset the whole plan of nativity by volunteering to be Mary. He loves the idea of been a parent and holding the baby. He is 5 and his teacher chose him despite all the controversy. Because he knew the lines and was the most confident one for the part. That and they are doing it pantamoine style so the boy taking the main female role hopefully will add to the character of the play. We however have had one parent who is gobsmacked her very frightened shy little girl wasn't picked because it'll bring he rout of her she'll and she was shocked that she the teacher gave her a shepards part. Despite the little girl asking for this because there was less to do. She thinks her little girl should have been goade dint doing something she felt uncomfortable with and my son should settle for a part that he finds boring.
Just to clarify her DD is a lovely little girl just doesn't like the limelight,

At our local school the roles of Mary and Joseph are virtually non speaking and go to the pupils who would most struggle to learn lines. The big part is the narrator then the Angel Gabriel, the shepherds and the kings.

Both my dd's were Mary, dd1 because Joseph was "spirited" and dd1 was well known for taking no nonsense and kept him in line with a glare or a firm grip. Dd2 was Mary because she has a beautiful singing voice and Mary sang a solo.

Early 70,s I was always the donkey ..till my.parents put a stop to it
My eldest daughter was choosen to be a monkey .I was livid as in brought very unpleasant memories back .I didnt allow it

Because I was tall and had short hair (I'm female) I was generally a shepherd or a king :D
Nativities are rarely traditional these days; my sons were a duck (complete with cute Marigold glove feet that he kept tripping over) and a snowman at primary!

This thread is heart breaking. I thought I was Mary because I'm wonderful. Now I know it was because I could sit still my mum made me practice.

@Palaver1 What's wrong with being a donkey? That would be adorable!

Although I work in nursery and saw one of our children who'd gone to school. She was indignant that she wasn't chosen to be Cheese-Us! 😂😂

My friend is really annoyed and wondering if she should say something to the teacher.

Oh to be a fly on the wall.

Well my dd was chosen as Mary.

Nothing to do with the fact Mary had no lines and dd was selectively mute....

Normally confident DGS (now 11) absolutely hates being the focus of attention on stage. We were surprised one year when he really really wanted to be 'an' (not 'the') innkeeper. When questioned it turned out there were 12 innkeepers and they sat on the floor in front of the stage the whole time doing nothing🙄

I had a complaint this year because the child I have put as Mary, who put their hand up when I asked 'who wants to be Mary?' and then confirmed they wanted the part when I asked them, has decided they don't want to be Mary after all. Apparently they weren't listening and thought i was asking something else. Clearly this is my fault.

I've explicitly told the class teacher at DS's new school not to give him any part that requires speaking or responsibility after the Nativity scene of 2017...where Joseph (my ds) removed Jesus from his peaceful manger, chucked him in to the audience whist shouting "I am a t-rex!!" And then proceeded to stomp about the stable with t-rex arms and all, exclaiming "I'm going to eat you"!!!

I was half mortified and half in tears laughing, I thought I was going to wee myself.

But yes fingers crossed Nativity 2018 we are shepherd no23 sat VERY close to teacher.

@DonaldDucksTowel me too! Made me feel strangely powerful leading all the boys then standing over M&J&BJ. I managed a man whose mum had intervened and insisted he get a better part because he was too special for the one assigned. He was the biggest pain in my backside and when he mentioned this story a lot of things fell into place.

@CoachBombay please tell me you have told his teacher what he did? Otherwise I can imagine some poor teacher assuming he just messed up his lines or froze or something and trying to boost his confidence with a nice little part.

**littlemisscomper
My ethnicity dictated that role it was the early 70,s

The part of ‘Mary’ is nearly always non-speaking, or has very few lines. It’s a clever way of making a child feel like they have the best part where in fact they have to do very little.
When my daughter was in school the part of Mary was played by one of her best friends who had confidence issues and would not have spoken a word.

My DD ( aged 20 next week), was Mary when she was little. She cried cos she wanted to be an angel cos they had prettier dresses...
Anyway, it was the most hilarious thing ever. Her and Joseph had a stand up fight and Baby "Cheeses" got lobbed into the audience...

I was Joseph several times. I was quite tall and I think our Sunday school lacked many boys —who would do what they were told—
I had to lead Mary’s donkey.

Whoever cast the Angels in DD’s nativity had a wonderful sense of irony 😁

My son was joseph when he was in reception. I nearly died off when him and the girl playing mary had a domestic on stage and started playing tug of war with the plastic baby jesus.
This aside mary never has any lines, its a dud part