To think my friend is taking the Nativity play a bit too seriously

[justfloatingpast]

She's been on the phone to me for ages complaining that the part of Mary has gone to a girl who only joined the school a few weeks ago and her daughter has asked to be Mary for the last three years (she's 8) and has never been cast and it's really not fair etc etc etc

I presume practically every girl in the class puts their hand up when asked who wants to be Mary this year, and the teacher has to pick one child.

My friend is really annoyed and wondering if she should say something to the teacher. Her daughter isn't a child who's constantly being overlooked. She plays on the school football team and was part of a group who won a prize for a project and were featured in a local newspaper.

AIBU to think she's over reacting and should just let it go?

I wish they'd do away with the Nativity plays for this very reason. Also they are boring as AF. So glad those days are behind me.

When my Primary did Joseph's Dreamcoat Joseph was played by a girl. When we did the story of St Nicholas the Dutch family Mother was played by a boy. I hope next year the OPs school picks a boy for Mary. That will annoy her friend.

I was never Mary (ginger) BUT, I frequently did Angel Gabriel because I spoke loud and clear. Much better part.

I'm Mary and so's my wife!

It's nice to know some things never change. This was a hot issue when I was back in primary school and I'm 40.

In fact, I caused much controversy when I was cast as Mary, due to the fact I'm Jewish. A couple of other mums, told mine, that she should pull me out of the Nativity, as I shouldn't have even been in it. Obviously it completely went over their heads, when my mum smiled at them and said, "well Mary was actually Jewish so..."

The Mary I cast in the infant nativity play many years ago actually started huffing, groaning and holding her stomach before producing Baby Cheesus from the neckline of her gown. (She’d never shown any signs of labour during rehearsals). The audience was in hysterics.

I was Mary twice in the same year, once with Sunday School and once a primary, quite an odd coincidence the same lad was Joseph in both nativities. I remember it for 2 reasons, neither good. At the school performance one of the 'popular' girls helped me get ready and brushed my hair, and said "wow you look nice when you brush your hair" meaning I normally look like a scraggly bush (to be fair I probably did)

The more worrying thing though, I had got it into my head that I was actually going to give birth to Jesus on Christmas Eve. My older sister had told me how babies are born with the help of a book from my parents...and I had puppy fat on my tummy that could have made me look mildly pregnant...so I spent the entire Christmas eve worrying about giving birth and put on several pairs of knickers to ensure nothing came out!

Mary doesn't usually have any lines so the teacher chooses a girl who will just sit still.

My youngest grandchild is in the juniors now and won't be doing any more nativities. I'm quite sad it's the end of an era and I speak as a retired teacher who was involved in organising them for 30 years.

I never got to be Mary, every bloody year I was a shepherd with my mothers t towel on my head and wearing my dressing gown. (40 years I've been carrying this!!)

I was always a bloody angel. Every. Sodding. Year.

I wanted to be a shepherd. Or an inn keeper.

I was Mary.

To avoid conflict, the head of primary pulled my name out of a hat containing the names of all the other girls to make it completely fair.

Except decades later she admitted she held on to my name and totally rigged it 😂. I was an angelic, middle eastern looking child with several years stage experience under my belt as well as a weekly church goer. #ChosenOne

I was Mary. I was gutted as I wanted to be a pretty Angel in white with tinsel wings.

If I can get over it, she can get over herself OP

I clearly just look pious as fuck.

I was always the story teller. Then again, I hate performing and acting so reading out a story to me was much, much better. Even if Mary had fuck all to say.

Neither I, nor either of my DC has ever been Mary, the angel Gabriel or any starring role. Sheep, stars, nearby trees, is all we've ever got! It really does not matter at all and hanging your hopes on your DD being Mary is just asking to be let down.

Also agree that Mary is really boring though. IME, usually given to whoever is most reliably docile.

Cheese my DCs are half Jewish and go to a Catholic school (I'm Catholic, OH is Jewish). My DC are the only kids with Jewish parentage at the school. Last nativity play I seriously considered claiming cultural appropriation if anyone but my DS was cast as Joseph (he ended up as an innkeeper, which ended up as a blessing as he had 4 words and still managed to giggle all the way through them )

Oh and blonde. Always blonde, never mind history :o

Oh crikey here we go... I cast a nativity play every year - all the Mum’s want their dds to be Mary, all the kids want to be narrators or donkeys except the boys usually fight over Angel Gabriel .

At dcs old school the headteacher even gave lead parts for boys to girls!

The child who was Mary in my DD's first nativity had just moved to England from abroad, and had very little English. She was chosen because Mary had no lines to say, and it was ideal for her.
I think there are far better parts!
Nevertheless, your friend is being ridiculous!

I was always the Angel Gabriel. Only because I could remember the lines from year to year and my mum made my costume with a massive hem that could be let down as I grew

I was always the Angel Gabriel. Every sodding year. Oh except the year that I was Angel Gabriel AND the narrator. I.think I just had the right hair.
And one year we did a play about Joan of Arc. I was bloody St Michael!

My son's were usually Kings because they were quite tall.

Came here to shamelessly gloat that DS has got the part of Joseph this year Sorry not helpful!

I’m pleased as punch because last year his class were sat on the floor just singing along with the older lot, I couldn’t actually see him from where I was sat This year he IS the older lot so I’ll actually be able to watch him up on stage and enjoy it

The teacher is probably trying to make the new girl feel welcome and yes your friend is BU.

I was Mary every, bloody year just because I had long brown hair. I wanted to be an angel - but they all had long blond hair. I am still scarred - I may sue the school.

Dd was chosen to be Mary in yr1, she performed at the dress rehearsal but in the evening had swimming and when she came out of the water the spot that I had seen earlier had become many as she had chicken pox. It was not meant to be.