to ask...what do you say to children that makes you sound like your own parents or guardians

[YankeeDoodleDoo]

just a little light-hearted ask

what do you say to any children you are responsible for be it your own kids, stepchildren, nieces, nephews, the kids you teach or foster, that makes you sound like your own parents/grandparents or guardians?

for me it's

1. Ii was your age once you know!
2. oh dear you have school-itis its very dangerous......the only cure is to GO TO SCHOOL!
3. if i have to come into that room there will be trouble!
4. all the tricks you think are so clever to get out of (insert relative term) I've done them and I probably did them better!

Farty-bum!

"Don't stand there farting, go to the loo!"

Said when dc say "I need a poo" then stand there wriggling, farting and jiggling because they "must tell you what Sarah said when miss asked for us homework" despite probably touching cloth...

"If you touch that again I'll chop your hand off".

If I asked for something and told no I would whine why?

My DM would say "Because Y is a crooked letter and you should know better."

"What is this, Bush Week?"

A very Australian saying, and a generational one, when someone is trying to put one over you, referencing the week country folk would come to the big cities for the annual show. Because the were naive, they could be taken for a ride

Oops I don't actually say those.

Because I say so
Your eyes will turn square if you keep sitting so near to the TV
you'll live
God I've turned into my mother 😫

"It's school not a fashion parade"
"Well .....'s parent obviously don't care about what happens to them"
"Is that a skirt or a belt?"
"Shut the dooooooorrrrrrr"
"I don't know why I bother speaking, it's like talking to a brick wall"
"You were dead in a ditch for all I knew"

"For heavens sake" and
"how many more times?"

I do a thing my mum used to do which I used to find really irritating which is I say "hmmm?" and pretend not to hear a question when it's something I don't want to answer I.e Mummy can we do crafting?" Or something. It's like I'm buying time? I don't know but I hate that I do it!

'You are not going out dressed like that' to teen DD, although it seems to have developed over time to 'you are not going out with those eyebrows, wash em off'

@Xiaoxiong i understand now! Thank you! Haha

Oh god this is all brilliant I'm.sure my mum raised all of you! Or you know her deeply because so far it's like a script for her when she was bringing me up!!!!

"It's like Blackpool illuminations in here"

"Were you born in a barn?"

"The house is lit up like the Crystal Palace" (Southern version of Blackpool Illuminations).
Like others, "Up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire" but followed by " along Sheet Lane and into Blanket Alley".
Perhaps we need to modernise: "Around Quilt Corner and down Duvet Dale".

‘That may well be, at XX’s house, but you live in this family and it’s not allowed here.’

‘Go and look for it again. This time use your “mummy eyes” instead.’

‘Is (your chore) done, and done properly? Think carefully about your answer. Shall I look now, or in 5 minutes?’

The only one I’ve added is ‘Volume down or screen goes off. Your choice.’ I wonder if my DD will have cause to use that one with her kids or if it’ll be redundant by then!

Come to think of it, I say these things in a different language to the one my mum used. That makes me feel better.

"What's that, Scotch mist?"

Oh yes😀😀

"Don't wear your coat in the house; you won't feel the benefit" .

The other week DP howled when I told the DC “but it won’t be you clearing that up will it, it’ll be muggings over here” . I was mortified and haven’t said it since. Definitely didn’t plan on morphing into my Mother any time soon...

You only have one brother you know? Be nice to him please.

Finish your food - there are so many children in the world who have no food.

Do you think the clothes magically jump into the wash basket by themselves?

I’m like the maid around here.
I’m not in the mood for it today, I won’t have it.
That’s it, you’re on my very last nerve.

And love the PP who said “what is this, Bush Week?” My DDad says this all the time!

'Who's she? The cats mother?'
'It's the maids say off'
'Yes not yeah'

And when we both say it at once..... in the same tone of voice..... the kids think it's hilarious!

I recall my mother baby-sitting for my brother and his wife when they went to their daughter's school for Parents' Evening. When they returned they weren't pleased and verbally laid into her in the kitchen. My mother nearly wet herself laughing, it was exactly what she and my dad had said to my brother at the same age.

'It's not Russian gift week' is one that seems to have died out, meaning was You're not getting something for nothing, don't know the origins of it.

When you find yourself repeating your mother's sayings means you must have been listening or you heard them a lot!

"Nobody said it would be fair."
"Liars need good memories."
"You can tell what God thinks of money by the people he gives it to."
"Don't crack your knuckles, you'll give yourself arthritis."
"All joints on the table will be carved." (when elbows were on the table)
"Are you deaf, daft or just plain disobedient?"
"If that's what (friend)'s Mummy allows, you'd better live at (friend)'s house."
"I wish I had time to be bored."
(describing a gossip who loved to stir) "She loves making bullets for other people to fire"
"If I knew then what I know now......"

A lot of these are familiar... DH calls it mum bingo.

Feel like I’m saying on constant repeat:
Why’s this bloody light on?
Am I paying to heat the street?
The fridge does NOT magically grow food

@StubbleTurnips DH calls it mum bingo

that's a good one! i will have to remember that!