to ask...what do you say to children that makes you sound like your own parents or guardians

[YankeeDoodleDoo]

just a little light-hearted ask

what do you say to any children you are responsible for be it your own kids, stepchildren, nieces, nephews, the kids you teach or foster, that makes you sound like your own parents/grandparents or guardians?

for me it's

1. Ii was your age once you know!
2. oh dear you have school-itis its very dangerous......the only cure is to GO TO SCHOOL!
3. if i have to come into that room there will be trouble!
4. all the tricks you think are so clever to get out of (insert relative term) I've done them and I probably did them better!

Forgot my two faves I actually crying once I've shouted them,
Were you born in a barn?
It's like Blackpool illuminations in here!

*cringe not crying

I want a lot of things but i’m not going to get them.

The only time i’ll get any peace is when they screw that lid down.

Xxxx has six kids and they’re not half the trouble you are.

All said by my DM in times of stress.
She was the kindest person i’ve Ever known.
She also had a wicked sense of humour , we used to laugh together a lot.

So many things, I really have turned into my mum!

I want never gets.

And

Chilly round the willy, numb round the bum!

SHUT THAT DOOR! Often with the addition of THE HEATING’S ON!

I have actually become my father, rather than my mother. For DH, I usually have to say ‘do you know how much the gas bill is??!’ which my father still says to my mother.

I always get up to fetch anything my dc ask for because I WILL NOT allow myself to say ‘I’m just havingg a little sit down’ which was the refrain of my childhood.

Life isn't fair.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Ringing my mum and saying " hello is that father Christmas?" Loudly so my unruly 5 year old can hear !
My mum used to ring my auntie when I was little doing the same thing.

Didn't think I would ever resort to that but i did !!!

"Go on then, let me have the full benefit of your inexperience".

Mummy, I've grown up into you.

It's like Blackpool illuminations, turn the lights off!

And if xxxx lived here he wouldn't be allowed either.

“Do I look like I’m laughing?”
“I’ve got eyes in the back of my head you know”
“No you can’t all go to the toilet you can wait until your friend is back”
“Because I’m a grown up and grown ups are allowed to”
“Well I want a million pounds but sadly that’s not happening any time soon”

Said to my preschoolers!

I'm always going on at them to give up bouncing on that settee because at this rate we'll have to sit on bloody orange boxes. I tell them that if it gets broken I can't afford to replace it. I've also threatened them that I'll go around to their houses when they're grown up and ill bounce on their settee and make a hue mess and see how they like it.

I'm Poland (if they say they're hungry) and I'm Friday (if they say they're thirsty).

I go on about lights being left on (and I even said that it was like the bloody Blackpool Illuminations the other day) and I tell them to put another layer on when they complain that it's cold instead of turning up the heating. I tell them to shut the door because I'm not paying to heat up the street.

I tell them that we'll be having shit with sugar in for tea, or a walk around the table and a bite out of each leg. Either that or it's cupboard surprise.

If they ask where we're going I'll tell them we're off there and back to see how far it is and if they ask how long it'll take I ask them how long is a piece of string.

Basically, I never give them a straight answer to anything am forever telling them to bloody sit still rather than jumping about all over the place.

I must be talking to a bloody brick wall.

Were you born in a barn?!

Because I said so!

Only boring people get bored. If you have nothing to do then I'll find you something to do.

You're either in or you're out. You can't be both.

If my aunty was a man she'd be my uncle.

Fix yer face
Move yourself
I don't care what X's mum lets them do, I am your mum and you're not doing it
5,4,3,2,ifigettoone!!! (Never get to one, thankfully, as I don't know what actually happens when I do get to 1)
Do as you're told
You're being spoken too, listen
Stop whining, I can't understand you
Don't speak with your mouth full

Oh DH's favourite is 'I'm going to see a man about a dog'

If you start I will kiss you in public now tjat is one i will definitely use he wont even walk near me at the moment

Well I'm not other people's parents.
Were you born in a barn
Plenty of water in the tap
Only burning people get bored, are all particular favourites of mine also

Because I’m a grown up and grown ups are allowed to”
“Well I want a million pounds but sadly that’s not happening any time soon”

Oh these too! Well it is official you and I have all turned into all out mothers!......merry Christmas!

These are great I've been howling reading then

You make a better door than a window
Servants get paid

Oh and the classic "I can't hear you because you're in a different room to me"

"I'm your mother, not your maid!"

"Well when you pay the bills you make the rules"

"I don't know how you find anything in that shit tip of a bedroom"

The other day I said to my child, "Will you use the eyes God gave you!" and realised that I had turned momentarily into my grandmother. I haven't even thought about that phrase for years!

you're getting right on my wick!

who's she? the cats mother?

"Look with your eyes not your hands"

"Shut that door, you weren't born in a barn"

"Come on, up the apples and pears to Bedfordshire."

The 2 current ones are.Shut the door ir you'll let the heat out and Since you're on your feet can you just get me a cup of tea(your child does not actually have to have their feet on the floor but it took her,as it did me,a while to clock on)
1 think there's a song set to the William Tell overture that covers most sayings.I will try to find it and link.