Christmas - the MN way

[cathf]

When did it become a 'thing' to compete with others about how low-key/crap you make make Christmas? With added bonus points for ramming your self-styled ethical credentials down people's throats at every available opportunity?
There are loads of threads running at the moment, pulling apart others' festive traditions and indulging in one-upmanship in reverse.

A true MN Christmas must follow these rules, it seems:

1. No Elf on the Shelf they are vulgar and modern
2. No Christmas Eve Box - they are also vulgar and modern and no-one needs one pair of pyjamas a year, that is wasteful. CEB may be allowed if filled with twigs and leaves from the garden.
3. In extremis, an Advent calendar with pictures only MAY be allowed. No chocolate, certainly no present-type advent calendar. Although for some reason, Playmobil and Lego calendars seem to be permitted. A reverse advent calendar to collect food for foodbanks is certainly allowed, but only if you make sure everyone knows you are doing it.
4. Nothing that you usually use is permitted in a Christmas design - so absolutely no to Christmas duvets, towels and most especially festive-scented handwash. The fact that you would be buying eg handwash anyway is brushed over in a bluster of eco-virtue signalling.
5. Grandparents are not allowed to buy gifts, especially paternal grandparents. They need to be gently told that the children don't need anything but their time and attention. The children are absolutely fine with this .
6. Something you want (as long as it's wooden and sustainable), something you need (but no pyjamas - see above), something you use and something to read (we can all agree on this one - cue competitive bookworm comments)

Honestly, when did we become so joyless?

I feel duty-bound to caveat this with I won't be doing half of these things for various reasons but am I alone in getting fed up with reading the hierarchy of frugality from people who are convinced their way is the best way and everyone else must be shown how wrong they are?

I don't think there is anything 'joyless' or 'mean spirited' about having concerns regarding the escalating expense of Christmas, and how faraway it is moving from its origins.

Apart from anything else the constant hype and buying and advertising and pressure, pressure pressure from late October until 25th December can be incredibly difficult for those on limited budgets or those for whom Christmas is a lonely or difficult time.

Everyone is affected by the changing nature of Christmas so it is perfectly understandable that people will voice their concerns and make attempts to stop the onward march towards wall to wall consumerism that is starting to define the Christmas season, often to the detriment of some of the lovely and old fashioned traditions that are drowning beneath a tide of 'stuff'.

Bertram just being factual.

Your post did make me chuckle OP!

I think if the truth were to be told, all MN do their level best to create whatever their idea of the "best" christmas is, with whatever budget available to them. All the virtue signalling and "no to wrapping paper" brigade I am positive all succumb somehow, somewhere down the line to a bit of festive nonsense!

I think we all think about, analyse and take life far too seriously these days, life is for living and if you can't enjoy a bit of tacky/bad taste festive frivolity than why bother at all?

I am not doing the typical MN Xmas then. I like elf of the shelf, I think Xmas Eve boxes are pointless (more money? more spending?), I like alternative advent calendars... I like my Xmas towels, the GPs can buy what they like...

I have to say, I find the constant focus on buying things and shopping and making everything 'bigger and better' eg Advent Calendars coming with toys or expensive toiletries instead of chocolate or religious pictures, and having colour co-ordinated decorations bought new every year is the most 'joyless' thing about modern day Christmas.

Not to mention the awful threads where posters are encouraging each other to leave elderly (not toxic) relatives alone at Christmas, because it's all about them and whatever makes their 'little family' happy.

This thread is far more party pooper to me than the ones you’ve described op.

Do what makes you happy.
M

The competitive grim-wedding posts are even more fun - you're a social-media-obsessed common little yob if you want to have it in a fancy venue with flowers and champagne and stuff, people who are really in love would be quite happy to do the business in a register office with two tramps for witnesses, then hold the reception behind a skip...

Lydia sorry can't understand how to quote
"Not to mention the awful threads where posters are encouraging each other to leave elderly (not toxic) relatives alone at Christmas, because it's all about them and whatever makes their 'little family' happy"

Sorry but that is disgusting, these people will be old and alone one day themselves..it's about family and friends after all.

Mind you, I hate Elf on the Shelf - yeah, let's get children used to the idea of constant surveillance by those with power over them good and early...

I didn't even realise until I read mn that some people only use Christmas decorations once and replace every year.

But then my mum dragged out the cotton wool angel I made aged 6 every year and stuck it on top of the tree.
My Christmas decorations are so precious, I would consider going into the attic to rescue them in a fire.
Loads of things accumulated over a lifetime, from friends all round the world. As we decorate our tree, I am going - Oh that was from Thailand DB and SIL brought it back from their honeymoon etc etc.

Those type of things are precious to me, nothing to do with money or cost.
The mass commercialization makes me sad, not because I don;t do Christmas, but on the other hand, because I DO do Christmas as recognize that all that stuff is missing the point.

OP, you described my Christmases fairly well.
Except we were allowed chocolate advent calendars, presents from GPs, and had a few more than 4 presents.

So I guess I'm a fairly typical MNetter.

The point is, is that not doing all the things you listed DOESN'T make my christmases joyless. I spend time with family, eat great food, have a beautifully decorated house, go on long walks, play board games, see friends, etc.

I don't criticise people who do things differently. But I see the huge amounts of stress people put themselves under, spending money then complaining about being skint, and wonder whether it really makes them happy.

Having looked at your list I think I must be half and half!

1. Elf on the Shelf not invented until my DD far too old for it

2. Don't do a Christmas Eve "box" as such but do often get DD (23 now) something to open on Christmas Eve (often PJs)

3. Love an advent calendar. I have one I made for DD years ago and I put pressies and jokes in. Was thrilled this year when she said she wasn't too old for it yet . Also when she was younger we had Playmobil ones - aren't they great! This year I have bought myself an Advent Calendar that looks like a traditional picture one but it is also musical and behind each door you press something and it will play a Christmas tune. Fantastic! (It is German so I am not sure I will recognize all the tunes but heigh-ho)

4. Christmas design things - my days I didn't know this was a thing. Probably wouldn't go for it as can't justify the expense and where do you store them the rest of the year.

5. GPs not buying gifts? Ha - try and stop them! We have never been the sort to go ridiculously over the top with hugely expensive things but we do like lots to open.

6. See 5.

At the end of the day I think each to their own. We celebrate Christmas the way we like it and what other people do is their business.

I meant 6) See 5.

Some of us are just so fucking sick of xmas and it's excesses. It's getting worse each year. I'm autistic and xmas really stresses me out and I spend most of December sick with viruses. The world is crazy enough for me without xmas which is the ultimate in craziness.

And yes, I care about the planet, I think its resources should be properly distributed and used.

This thread is far more party pooper to me than the ones you’ve described op.

I agree. There's an unpleasant sneery tone about it. There also seems to be a real lack of awareness of just how pressurised and stressful Christmas has become for many people.

Also, I don't think it's great the way people go all out for Christmas nowadays and then turn January into a month of sackcloth and ashes, with everybody broke and depressed and suffering from anti-climax. But it's hardly any wonder when we're being encouraged to spend the previous 3 months whipping ourselves up into an absolute frenzy about Christmas, spending like there's no tomorrow and buying enough food and drink to keep a small country going.

reanimated ..
"people who are really in love would be quite happy to do the business in a register office with two tramps for witnesses, then hold the reception behind a skip..."

You just described my marriage ha ha twenty years together

*citiesofbismuth

Some of us are just so fucking sick of xmas and it's excesses. It's getting worse each year. I'm autistic and xmas really stresses me out and I spend most of December sick with viruses. The world is crazy enough for me without xmas which is the ultimate in craziness.

And yes, I care about the planet, I think its resources should be properly distributed and used*

Nobody has to do Christmas.

OP there are just as many posters on MN who advocate Christmas Eve boxes, and 1st December presents, and decorations going up in early November and buying expensive luxuries to eat, and taking loads of photographs of the children's presents under the tree, as there are posters who favour a more old fashioned, less commercialised Christmas.

You seem to be trying to imply that you're somehow special and 'apart' from the hoi polloi of MN, when actually your Christmas is also a MN Christmas, because many many MNetters seem to celebrate Christmas in exactly the way you do.

I of course use the same decorations every year, some are very precious. I always host elderly relatives and would never leave anyone alone. I don't do elf on the shelf or xmas eve boxes....but I do go a bit crazy on presents for my DCs. I think it's my working class background, I want the living room to look like Home Alone 2 on Christmas morning.

DS2 and DH are master divers and do ocean clean ups so I do watch my use of plastic, I'm not that bad.

Each to their own, although no elf on a shelf for me (DD is only a baby, I mean in years to come), as it a) creates more work for me b) more likely to come downstairs to find he's been mauled by the cats #makingmemories c) is creepy AF.

I don’t believe you find a doll “creepy AF” that’s the sort of drama we’re talking about.

It's the idea that's creepy - that Santa sends little spies into your house to watch over you are report back.

No I’m sorry. A grown woman doesn’t actually find that creepy. I just don’t believe it for a second. It’s just something people say.

Excellent!!! So true. Could not believe the rants on the festive handwash thread the other day, it's handwash FFS. Don't get the MN need to force your opinions or ideas on someone else, Christmas is unique to the person. I don't do elf on the shelf or xmas eve boxes but would never blast somebody else for doing it. Bizarre.

Spies? The Elf larks about messing up Christmas decorations and pops back home at night to let Santa know how the kids are getting on. It's hardly Big Brother. When I was a kid we didn't have an Elf but Santa did have a naughty and nice list (back then he just "knew"). I managed to not turn into a nervous wreck and I probably watched my behaviour a little more during the holidays than normal. It's seen as a bit of fun in our house and the kids certainly aren't scared of the Elf, I'm not sure why anyone would be.