Christmas - the MN way

[cathf]

When did it become a 'thing' to compete with others about how low-key/crap you make make Christmas? With added bonus points for ramming your self-styled ethical credentials down people's throats at every available opportunity?
There are loads of threads running at the moment, pulling apart others' festive traditions and indulging in one-upmanship in reverse.

A true MN Christmas must follow these rules, it seems:

1. No Elf on the Shelf they are vulgar and modern
2. No Christmas Eve Box - they are also vulgar and modern and no-one needs one pair of pyjamas a year, that is wasteful. CEB may be allowed if filled with twigs and leaves from the garden.
3. In extremis, an Advent calendar with pictures only MAY be allowed. No chocolate, certainly no present-type advent calendar. Although for some reason, Playmobil and Lego calendars seem to be permitted. A reverse advent calendar to collect food for foodbanks is certainly allowed, but only if you make sure everyone knows you are doing it.
4. Nothing that you usually use is permitted in a Christmas design - so absolutely no to Christmas duvets, towels and most especially festive-scented handwash. The fact that you would be buying eg handwash anyway is brushed over in a bluster of eco-virtue signalling.
5. Grandparents are not allowed to buy gifts, especially paternal grandparents. They need to be gently told that the children don't need anything but their time and attention. The children are absolutely fine with this .
6. Something you want (as long as it's wooden and sustainable), something you need (but no pyjamas - see above), something you use and something to read (we can all agree on this one - cue competitive bookworm comments)

Honestly, when did we become so joyless?

I feel duty-bound to caveat this with I won't be doing half of these things for various reasons but am I alone in getting fed up with reading the hierarchy of frugality from people who are convinced their way is the best way and everyone else must be shown how wrong they are?

Isn't it just the case that people are different and do things differently as with all threads? A lot of what you've listed I don't think is necessary for a 'joyful' Christmas but equally I'm not mean and depriving my child.

A lot of threads are asking for opinions so it's hardly unsurprising when people say 'we've bought 4 gifts' etc. Do you only want people who have bought 40 presents to respond?

What a bitter thread.

I have not seen any threads dictating what people are and aren't 'allowed' to do at Christmas.
But I have seen many threads objecting to the ongoing commercialisation of Christmas, the relentless pressure on parents to spend more and more money on their children, the constant focus on 'stuff' rather than family. I have also read many newspaper articles about this and heard many people complaining about it in RL.

It's a valid view that people are entitled to express. If you have issues with it why not debate it like a grown up on the appropriate threads instead of starting an inaccurate rant about the tone of those thread.

I was wondering the same thing... glad I don’t have to spend Christmas in any of those households. Children are only little for a finite period of time and I am for all the magic that you can squeeze in. Although for adults I am all for a hassle free stripped back Christmas revolving round food and booze.

Posting any self confgratulatory pictures on social media, however, is vulgar.

I also think the backlash about "stuff" isn't about frugality.

Frugality is about spending as little as possible. That's not what a lot of posters are saying, me included. It's about QUALITY over QUANTITY. More is not always better. Deciding it's better to spend £100 on a really nice present rather than the same amount on 25 to 30 smaller things of poor quality.

I like Christmas but I don't buy into all the Christmas Eve box, the Christmas bedding, elf on the shelf ( dc too old anyway ) as I find Christmas busy enough without adding more pressure.

Plus imo the above take away the specialness of what Christmas should be about.

There is no ONE way of doing Christmas. There are no rules. Some people don't even celebrate it at all

I agree with this, and also, each year can be different, in previous years I have gone all out, some years just got through it and this year, want and need a simple, restful, not wasteful one. None of those are wrong and I don't like the sniping

Well sorry if you can’t handle a bit of advertising and discussion without feeling the pressure grin Your life must be really hard

And here sums up the true tone of this thread.
Why is it so difficult for you to understand that yes, others may have a hard life ?
And why does the idea that some people have hard life cause you so much merriment ?

Have you ever thought that for some people who can't afford it, the anxiety, and guilt that advertising etc causes is not 'faux' at all, but very real ?

posted too soon- the sniping of others judging people's choices- just everyone do what you personally like and leave everyone else be!

I agree cathf. I love Christmas, it's absolutely my favourite time of year. The kids will only believe for a few years and I plan on making the most of those years before they become incredibly embarrassed about how Mum still moving that bloody Elf doll around the house .

I don't mind at all what other people do. We all have our own traditions.

No elf on the shelf here. DS thinks the elf is a snipe and tells tales. Also, after the third night of jumping out of bed to set the thing up, it lost its magic. I love Christmas! But to me it's about family and celebrating. Not one upping the next person or putting yourself into debt. Don't do Christmas Eve boxes, can't see the point. But know people who love them. I'm now off to google Christmas handwash...

No elf on the shelf here. DS thinks the elf is a snipe and tells tales

Don't forget all the wrapping has to be environmentally friendly and of course, all kids want for Xmas is books.

Oh, hope you're not religious! It's the height of shock that some go to church on Xmas.

news.sky.com/story/sky-ocean-rescue-plasticus-whale-completes-national-campaign-tour-11011242
Has everyone seen this? It might change your mind about buying plastic products for Christmas

I wouldn’t say that I consider re-using the same Xmas decorations/ table cloth/ whatever other Xmas themed things you like to bring out at Xmas needless and overt consumerism. I think my mum has been using the same ones for about 20 years. Surely with elf on the shelf, you just buy the one and reuse it every year?

I also wouldn’t consider an advent calendar or pair of pjs to be completely over the top either.

Yes, spending a ludicrous sum of money for 50 presents for your children is excessive. But you can still have all the joy and magic of Xmas while buying your children a sensible number of gifts, the two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can't help but think some people have always been this way - we've all got that neighbour, co-worker or relative who either likes to put you down, criticize or go one better. It's just these people now have a public and anonymous forum in which to continue their mean spiritedness.

Christmas the NM way...

Lotz of sparkly glitter on everything hun!

My children are teens so they definitely get fewer presents because what they want is more expensive.

2I can't help but think some people have always been this way - we've all got that neighbour, co-worker or relative who either likes to put you down, criticize or go one better. It's just these people now have a public and anonymous forum in which to continue their mean spiritedness"

Why is it 'mean spirited' to have views on the commericalisation of Christmas and new and expensive 'traditions' that don't co-incide with yours.

MN is huge and I think there is a lot of diversity amongst contributors. I guess we all have different reasons for doing or not doing things. However, I have detected at work (as well as online) there is a bit of a general feeling that we should somehow "cut back" and not over-consume especially on some items which are throwaway which maybe us what you have seen on MN too.

Personally, my 2 DS will be 17 soon so I can't comment on things like Elf on the Shelf and Christmas Eve boxes. We also recently moved house and have all taken a deliberate decision to cut back on things we don't actually need - this is more about keeping the house tidy/clean and saving money for a big trip we have planned in 2019. However, I don't think it's joyless at all - stockings will still be had by all, there will still be lots of presents (a lot in prep for school studies or the trip or hobbies) and lots of good food as well, plus we'll reuse Xmas decorations and our tree and lots of outside lights - sorry new neighbours!!

I love Christmas, love decorating the house, used to make the kids make all our Christmas cards etc.

We eat Christmas dinner with mains made from scratch (wouldn't know how not to as don't understand things like ready made roasties, they are so bloody easy to make!) But not sure we have as many veg and sides as some people.
Puddings are usually bought.

We have loads of Christmas traditions.

BUT

I don;t do most of the things in your OP

-Hate Elf on a shelf (never bought into the idea that Santa only buys for good kids - bloody psycho crappy twisted way of thinking)
-Hate Christmas Eve boxes - we have other stuff we do on Christmas eve.
-never understood the whole Christmas towels and duvets, I have enough trouble storing everything else without adding in special ones for Christmas
-we use an advent calendar made by kids over the years, and there is no chocolate involved.

Does that make me joyless? No. But it does mean that our Christmas is tailor made to our family, and works for us.

We also don't watch TV on Christmas day. (that is what the record button is for)

I hate some of the commercial stuff, which is where Christmas boxes sits for me. My best memories are all about daft games, and lovely food, and balancing things on Grandpa's stomach when he fell asleep on the sofa. They don't even revolve around presents.
(but I love good presents)

Those of us who've commented on threads like that haven't done so because we think we're above others or we're dictating how to do Christmas. We're on those threads because we realise there is just too much shit shoved on this planet already and we don't need to fill our houses and lives with any more. If you can't understand this is our reason that's your problem, not ours.

TBF I read a lot on MN and still do whatever I want. I am excitedly preparing my Xmas eve box atm and reading a thread the other day about how shit they are reminded me that I wanted to buy a personalised Xmas eve plate for the big guy (put that in your pipe and smoke it MN haters!). The reality of it, is that people can say what they like but people will and should still do what is best for them and their families!

Are you pleasant about it Whirly

Honestly, when did we become so joyless?

Some of us never got round to doing any of points 1 to 4 in the first place, in order to stop doing them, joylessly or otherwise.

Where do we fit in?

I had this last year a few trying to get me to do reverse advent, and then posting about it keep saying you should join up, Considering I had already used a food bank why would I do that exactly, and no You don't need a pat on the back everytime you do something good , is it all about the likes these days? When I do something good , I do something because I can and I want to help, not because I want everyone to think I have good moral ethics.
I also have someone I know who gives her child one small present and doesn't celebrate at all, no dinner or deco (As there are kids who have too much and those who don't have anything) ..Emm Hold on now your child is in the "Have not" brigade , she gives it all to cats and bangs on about it, good for you Love, Good for you.
Keep it your way and i'll keep it in mine. Sorry abit antsy today!