To ask, on World Kindness Day, what the kindest thing someone's ever done for you is?

[octoberfarm]

Just spotted that today was World Kindness Day and thought amidst all the dreary news (and November weather), it might be nice to have a thread about kindness.

I'll start: the first time I travelled anywhere as an adult, I went to Canada. I'd been traveling for nearly 22 hours (was a tad over-optimistic about the manageability of multiple layovers in a bid to bring flight costs down) when I got on a bus to get from the airport to downtown Vancouver. I'd only bought local currency in the form of notes, rather than coins, and the rather hassled bus driver took off whilst I was trying to pay. When he realized I didn't have any coins, he told me he'd be dropping me off in the industrial area we were passing through and I'd have to find another way to get where I was going. I was disorientated and jet-lagged, and starting to get a bit panicky, when a kind stranger stood up and asked how much I needed. She pulled a few quarters from her pocket and as I looked around, I saw that a heap of the other passengers were taking out change from their pockets too. They all contributed enough to cover my ticket, and as she left the bus, the original lady said "Welcome to Canada" with a giant smile. It's always stuck with me.

Also: the time a stranger walked me and my two kids to the car with his umbrella in a torrential rainstorm, and the kindness my toddler showed me the other day when I was upset. Sometimes a simple "don't worry Mummy, it's okay" is all you need

Also, at the airport having gone through customs, DP realised he had left something important in the car, so we decided he had to leave to go and get it, and I would get the flight (as there was something time-sensitive i had to arrive for), and he would get a later one. In the panic of him rushing off to go and get what he had left, he thrust his suitcase at me. So when I went to board the plane, I suddenly had two suitcases as my hand luggage. They asked me to pay £50 for excess luggage - in the panic, DP had the money with him! I tried to ask whether i could pay on the other side but they were saying why couldn't let me on without paying, or without leaving one of the bags - which they said they couldn't look after or give back to DP. I'm crying trying to work out whether I can cram the valuables into one suitcase and leave the other, and crying at the idea of if they won't let me on the plane, I'll miss the time-sensitive thing. All the patients have boarded in this time. One staff member decides that they are letting me on, with both bags, without having to pay, and that's the final decision. I was so grateful.

Mine is similar to lidoshuffle... aged 21, just graduated and was flat-sitting for a friend who lived off the Holloway Road. It was the summer and I'd gone out much earlier day, in a short, summer dress. By 11pm, with only 40p to my name and no real idea how to get back to the flat, I found myself walking in circles from Old Street station. I was clearly being watched for quite a while by a cab driver who eventually pulled up, asked where I was trying to get to and told me he was taking me there, no charge. He explained that he'd want someone to do the same for his daughter.

That was 21 years ago. Earlier this year I was able to pay it forward, for a sobbing 18-yr-old who'd missed the last train home from central London. She got the train to my stop and I then drove her the rest of the way, explaining what the cab driver had done for me 20 years ago, and saying that I'd want someone to do the same for my daughter.

Many years ago, in a casual conversation on a weekday, my DH dropped a bomb that he wanted to separate. This was such a bolt out of the blue I completely lost it. I run out of the house and called a friend who immediately told me to come over.

I lived in Islington at the time and the friend was in Brixton, at the time when it wasn't a trendy hipster place. It started absolutely pouring it with rain. I was walking down the road crying hysterically and trying to stop a black cab. Two turned me down: "Ain't going to Brixton love" and "Nah, not on my way home". I realised they probably didn't want to take me as I looked a complete mess.

Third one stopped and a burly cabbie. He glanced at me but took me in. As we rode on, I saw he kept glancing in his rear view mirror and I kept trying to pull myself together. He asked me if I was okay and I immediately straightened up and trying to preempt his concerns said that I wasn't drunk and I had money on me.

He said, and I remember it like today: Love, I just see that you are very upset. I may be a cabbie but I'm a human being. Let me get you to Brixton.

We got there and he went up a one way street wrong way as he felt it was safer to drop me right in front of the door.

I will never forget that man.

This something kind that my DH did years ago for a stranger, and it still makes me proud.

DH works abroad, and was on the motorway driving to a meeting when he had to stop at the services for fuel. While there he noticed a little oriental lady, obviously distressed, going up to various car and lorry drivers and asking them to take her with them.

He spoke to her and found out that she had been on a coach on its way to Brussels (they weren’t in Belgium), and the coach had set off again without her. He was so concerned for her safety and the risks of her hitchhiking that he took control. Sitting her in his car, he first rang the hotel in Belgium to explain what had happened and that she would be making her own way there.

He then took time out of his busy day to drive her to the nearest town and put her on a train to Brussels, to make sure she got there safely.
If he hadn’t mentioned it in passing on the phone that evening I would never have known.

He’s a little bit special. ❤️

Lots of little things, but the biggest one is my parents deciding to adopt me at 18 months, having been in care since birth. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if they hadn't. I had a lovely childhood and feel so lucky that they chose me.

My mum has passed away now, but my dad is still the kindest man I know. I sometimes tease him that he's too soft, but this thread has reminded me that the world needs more kindness.

My mum died when I was 21 and my best friend (who was at Uni at the time) skipped her lectures and travelled something ridiculous like 6hrs on 4 trains just to get to me and give me a hug.

When I started both of my first two "proper jobs" my mum bought me a new mug for my desk, it was kind of a tradition. She passed away before I started my third job but the two apprentices who worked for me at the time bought me a mug as a leaving gift because they knew my mum wasn't there to buy me one.

My first day back at work after a miscarriage, I was talking to my boss near the water cooler when the receptionist put her head round the corner to tell me I was wanted on the phone. It was the Client from Hell, an abusive unreasonable idiot we had to tolerate because our company was making a ton of money from him.

My boss said to tell him I was unavailable. He took the call himself and sorted out whatever grievance Client from Hell had. I really couldn't have handled him that day.

These are so lovely!

Sorry to hear you had such a crappy day @Cairnzy - I hope things start looking up for you soon and that today goes better

@Sandsnake, your Dad sounds like a really wonderful man

Stayed with me until the ambulance came when I blacked out. I married him.

When I had DD2 I had to go back into hospital to be treated for preeclampsia. My friend organised her local church to bring us dinners for a week. Strangers turning up at our door with a meal and dessert, that didn’t want anything in return. We never ask for help and always muddle through, so it was awkward for us, but so so kind.

Last Xmas when I was alone with the 3 kids, one of the neighbours did a 12 days of Xmas anonymous gift. Every evening they’d ring the doorbell and run away. We’d open it and on the porch was a gift. 12 day was 12 chocolates, 5th day was 5 candles, last day was a snugglie blanket. It was amazing, and we still don’t know who did it.

I’d love to do this for someone else, and one day I will, need to find a door without a doorbell cam!

a few years ago was at the petrol station, only putting £20 in the car as that was literally all I had in my bank. Went in to pay, card was declined, checked at the in store cashpoint and an unexpected bill had come out leaving me with a 0 balance. I made an excuse to go back out to the car making out I needed my 'other card' to save embarrassment when in reality I was ringing my mam to ask her to transfer some money for me.

Anyway, was just dialling her number when a man came out of the store and telling me he'd paid for my petrol, not to worry and have a Merry Christmas. I was gobsmacked all I could do was shout thank you as he drove off! I'll never ever forget that man.

PhilomenaButterfly Did you know him already or is that how you met?!

To the people who arranged a meeting to decide (against the rules) that as a teenager I could claim benefits whilst finishing my A levels ( after having a baby) in the 1980s: that was a a pivotal point for me. I have a wonderful career and life and it could be so different without your kindness.

My 13 year old can be quite difficult and selfish (typical teenager) used to his pocket money to buy a meal deal for a homeless person outside Tesco Metro. He didn't tell me, his friend did.

A few really kind things that have always stuck with me.

When my mum chucked me out onto the street, I was 17, my daughter was 6 months old, I had nothing but the clothes I stood in. I called a taxi, he helped me get DD in the car, and he asked what had happened. He was really nice to me and he couldn’t understand how my mum could have been so nasty. I was going through PND, and she couldn’t cope with my unhappiness she told me, everyone else had discussed it, and I had to leave, she packed a bag for DD and pushed me out of the door.
He drove me to my dads flat an hour away and took nothing but petrol money. He even gave me a hug and told my dad to take care of me. It struck me as really kind then, and has had me in tears 10 years later. He showed real concern. He had a child of a similar sort of age, he just couldn’t understand.

Another was the Christmas after. My daughters first Christmas, I had no one to spend it with. My family moved when I was pregnant, and my daughters father was no longer on the scene and my mum was being her usual self. Now I can’t understand why I was so upset, but at 18 the thought of having no one but 1 year old DD to spend Christmas with sounded really sad, I didn’t envision being alone, and I couldn’t bloody cook a whole Christmas dinner for myself and DD..I was still really lost. I was chatting online to someone, I never had any real intention of meeting anyone: I just chatted to people out of loneliness. One of the people I was talking to said there was no way he was letting me spend Christmas alone. He invited DD and myself to his house to have dinner with him, his mum and his Nan. We never went, but it was really kind of him to offer, and he was 100% serious. We actually ended up together for a while. he was always really kind to me.

Recently some people in my community seem to have sensed I was isolated and not doing great even though I didn't say anything. I was encouraged to join an activity and when I was actually obviously down I got hugs and support as well as offers of help. I've never lived anywhere like that before, where people seem to offer kindness and support just because that's what they do.

In my life previously 'kindness' always had strings attached to it. the difference experiencing it now is vast and has really made me grateful and reflective.

A kind gesture from a stranger made a massive difference to me.

My mum had died a few weeks earlier. I was on my way to work on the Tube. Tears started welling up in my eyes as I clung onto the handrail.

Also standing in the vestibule was an impeccably turned out in his mid 30s. Tailored camel coat, proper hat, three piece suit, handmade shoes.

When it came to my stop ( a very busy, bustling one) he tipped his hat, nodded his head and swept out his arm so no-one in the carriage or coming up from the platform could jostle me as I got off the train. He smiled a little smile of human understanding as he did it.

It made me feel like there was still some good in the world and I would be able to go on and face life.

Can't think of a single thing I'd call the kindest or the nicest thing that someone has done for me but I can think of plenty of little things that just make your life so much nicer and more pleasant every day. Few examples:

My son's piano teacher, for example, always lets us rearrange his lessons when we need to without charging even though her terms and conditions say otherwise.

Some drivers let you cross the road first even though they don't have to.

Last winter we got stuck on the road in our village due to heavy snowfall and some guy in his 4x4 got stopped, got out of the car and helped us push our car when he had absolutely no reason to do that.

Bought fruit from a guy selling fruit outside, and he gave me 2 extra peaches.

And there are loads of other similar everyday things people do for you that make your whole life brighter.

My colleague and I were going to a meeting with a difficult client and he said before the meeting that he will help and support as much as he can, and he did.

Remember the kindness done for you and do kindness for others. Not just today but every day :)

My 13 year old can be quite difficult and selfish (typical teenager) used to his pocket money to buy a meal deal for a homeless person outside Tesco Metro. He didn't tell me, his friend did

And this is something that gives me hope for our future and the future of our children :)

when we were going through our hardest time growing up (real poverty and very unstable) every now and again an anonymous person would put cash through our door , £20 here, £30 there- what was amazing was they always seemed to come at a time when we needed almost that exact amount for something essential. My mum hadn't shared with anyone (she was so proud) so they felt like mini miracles.
I do significant acts of kindness now for other people - and I keep them entirely to myself- I don't even tell DP or my sis who is my best friend. It feels marvellous and miraculous.

Having PND on top of my usual mental health problems after having DD I got myself into a total mess. My biological DF was visiting from where he'd fucked off to without a bye your leave and decided that on his visit to the UK he'd like to meet his first grandchild. Only he wasn't coming to me, I had to travel 200 miles to him, and like the approval seeking fool I am I took out a credit card to pay for the train fare and hotel and blew the lot.
Of course I then got into arrears and watched this debt, and then others spiral and I became terrified to open the door in case it was a bailiff.
I had a good friend at the time - I never told her how deeply I was in debt or how bad it had got, she was well off because her husband's company was booming and they already bought me and DD amazing birthday/Christmas presents, and I didn't want her to think I was hinting.
Her husband was round one day, fixing a door that has broken and the bailiffs turned up. Couldn't hide it any more. He paid not only that debt, but sat me down and paid the urgent ones, then helped me set up arrangements with my other creditors. He then refused to take any repayment at all. He said I was a good friend to both of them, they'd had family and friends asking for money all the time but despite the hole I was in I'd never asked or even told them what was going on. He said that meant I loved them and not their money. And he helped his friends.
I have never forgotten his kindness, I really don't know what I would have done without his help at that point.
He's a wonderful man.

I will never forget the kindness my dentist showed me once. I think it stands out because he usually scares the crap out of me and he can be really harsh. I am seeing him today and I am already worried about what mood he will be in.

Anyway. My ex husband had just died of cancer and my health anxiety ramped up. I thought I had oral cancer so rushed to the dentist. I was in such a mess and he asked why I was so worried about something he could barely see and I broke down in tears telling him about how my boys have just lost their dad and I was petrified they would lose me too.

It was the first time I had really cried over it and it all hit me at once. He just listened and wiped my tears away with his thumb in such a gentle and caring manner. No matter how much he scares me I will never forget the kindness he showed me when I needed it the most.

A few years ago, our boiler packed in. A lovely gas engineer came out and said he thought it was an electrical fault, and sent an electrician colleague to look at it. He spent all afternoon tinkering with the boiler, the switch and the thermostat, to no avail. After several hours, he said that there was nothing he could do and that it was dead and would need replacing. I asked how much we owed him for his time and he said 'Nothing - I've not fixed it so I'm hardly going to charge you'. He refused to take a penny.

Anyway, that weekend the weather suddenly turned really, really cold. We were shivering under a quilt with a poorly DS when the doorbell rang. It was the electrician, with an oil-filled electric radiator - 'My wife's been on at me to get rid of this for ages and I thought you might find it useful until you get your new boiler.' Again, he refused to take a penny. I cried - he made such a difference to us that weekend. We still have the heater - he insisted that we hang onto it in case anyone else we knew ever needed it.

My colleague went out of his way to talk to me, include me, and generally coax me out of my shell when I returned from being signed off with anxiety. He made such a difference to my attitude and wellbeing - so much so that others have commented on my improvement at work - and I can't thank him enough. Sadly, he moved to America a few weeks back since his boyfriend got a job there in September, and I miss him so much. There's always facebook, and skype, but I miss his easy presence by my side all day at work. I now have an empty hot desk beside me which just makes his absence all the more strong.

a gentleman paid for my groceries in ASDA when my card malfunctioned