To ask, on World Kindness Day, what the kindest thing someone's ever done for you is?

[octoberfarm]

Just spotted that today was World Kindness Day and thought amidst all the dreary news (and November weather), it might be nice to have a thread about kindness.

I'll start: the first time I travelled anywhere as an adult, I went to Canada. I'd been traveling for nearly 22 hours (was a tad over-optimistic about the manageability of multiple layovers in a bid to bring flight costs down) when I got on a bus to get from the airport to downtown Vancouver. I'd only bought local currency in the form of notes, rather than coins, and the rather hassled bus driver took off whilst I was trying to pay. When he realized I didn't have any coins, he told me he'd be dropping me off in the industrial area we were passing through and I'd have to find another way to get where I was going. I was disorientated and jet-lagged, and starting to get a bit panicky, when a kind stranger stood up and asked how much I needed. She pulled a few quarters from her pocket and as I looked around, I saw that a heap of the other passengers were taking out change from their pockets too. They all contributed enough to cover my ticket, and as she left the bus, the original lady said "Welcome to Canada" with a giant smile. It's always stuck with me.

Also: the time a stranger walked me and my two kids to the car with his umbrella in a torrential rainstorm, and the kindness my toddler showed me the other day when I was upset. Sometimes a simple "don't worry Mummy, it's okay" is all you need

I had no cash on me and the card system died while I was paying in the supermarket (not long ago with the big visa issue). I had a baby and two other small children with me. There was a huge queue at the cash point outside. The lovely older couple behind me agreed to look after the baby in the trolley while I queued. It took so long I came back in to find him wheeling towards me carrying a receipt and he'd paid and packed it all for me. I gave him the money of course but he helped me out no end and was so kind.

My dad has also installed in me being kind and a sense of community. In a way that's the kindest thing he ever did for me. It means I naturally help others out and I can see it in my dc as they grow too.

When we tried to go out for a meal with our (then) 11month DS, he was kicking off and screaming so when the waitress came with our food we thanked her and told her we were leaving as we were disturbing everyone else (proper evil looks off other tables), she told us not to be silly and asked if she could entertain DS for us. She popped the till on training mode and let him play with all the buttons while we ate. I cried i was so relieved!

I had a flight booked to The States via Paris, when the baggage handlers in France were striking. I was going to see my then boyfriend, so I was very upset to be told I wasn't able to fly.
As I was crying, a BA lady came up to me, and asked what was wrong. I explained, she took my flight details and went away.
She came back, and she'd transferred me free of charge onto the BA flight, so I could go that day. Not only that, but as I now had a direct flight, I actually arrived 4 hours earlier.

When I was moving house. It was incredibly stressful and my MH was at breaking point for many reasons.

I couldn’t stand to be there any more. Three different friends had me and my DD at their houses in the week leading upto it. Fed us, took her so I could shower in peace, it was incredible.

The day I moved - 15 people showed up to help me, 6 of which I barely knew.

At my new house - 6 other people were there - 3 of them I didn’t know at all.

My van didn’t turn up. It was a nightmare. We went back and forth six times that day (an hour each way) and it wasn’t until 10pm that I realised everything in my new house had been unpacked, my fridge was full of new food, and I’d been left many house warming gifts.

As someone who’s never really had friends and zero family support, I sobbed for weeks and I can never, ever thank them enough.

People have done some lovely big things for me, particularly my parents, who are absolute saint's, but sometimes it's the little things...

When I was a student, I was upset for some reason and had found a quiet area to have a bit of a subtle cry. There was a boy across the room, who was reading, but didn't seem to be paying me any attention. When I looked up, I realised he'd brought me some Minstrels from the vending machine. Best chocolate I ever had, so appreciated.

Also while a student, I had the flu and could barely lift my head. My mum drove all the way to my uni halls (several hours away), unasked, did the washing up and filled the fridge and brought me some medicine, and left again to get to work on time!

I had a school friend, we hung out together at school but never out of school and never kept in touch after leaving. 18 years later, 10 days before Christmas, I was admitted in to hospital. I was very ill and didn't realise it at the time and spent the next 8 months in hospital. My old school friend had heard I wasn't well and came to see me. She went and bought my three children all their Christmas presents, measured them up for new Christmas pyjamas, new school uniforms, and looked after my 10 week old baby. She did all that and looked after my house and she had 4 kids of her own. I can never repay her but I will always love her.

We were travelling back from visiting the in-laws in Turkey via Munich, at night, with DS who was then aged 2. For the flight from Munich to the UK the airline announced that there would be no priority boarding. One very tall man with a very businesslike voice announced that this was simply ridiculous and insisted we be allowed to board the plane first and carried my bags and the buggy while DH carried a sleeping DS. It was 5 years ago but I am still so grateful to him!

If you get the chance you should look up 'thai kindness commercial' on YouTube, I showed my class them today as we celebrated Day of Kindness.

My one wasn't a big gesture like some here but it definitely influenced me and changed my outlook that day.
I was (am) a young mum and at 19, with a 2 year old, I looked younger. I was sat in a Costa with DS having a cake and coffee/juice just chatting about our day - university and nursery that morning. Two middle aged women made very snidey remarks on the way past about 'benefit scroungers' and how I should be 'ashamed' and how my parents had clearly failed. That day at university had almost broken me due to the pressure (toddler who didn't sleep and feeling like I was a failure as a mother and in education as a result). I had tears in my eyes when a lovely older woman looked at me, told me it was clear that I was doing a good job and DS was a credit.

Those kind words meant so much in that moment.

My tax credits were stopped after an over payment. I hadn’t budgeted for it and being a single Mum I was very stressed about managing. My friend phoned me and got I got upset about it. After I finished speaking to her she she text me saying she had put some money in my bank account and she didn’t want any arguments about not accepting it and that I was never on my own with anything. She also said that she didn’t want paying back ever.
This kindness still makes me cry 😢.

Dd3 is nearly 3 and has been having the worst temper tantrums lately, mostly on the long school run walk up a big hill right by school. Yesterday morning I was fucking shattered, up all night with teething dd4 and dd3 didn't want to walk and was tripping me up, and the push chair was in everyone's way and I was so flustered and embarrassed, apologising to everyone - when a mum came up and put her arm around me and told me I was doing a great job. I managed to hold it together long enough to say thank you, and then cried most of the way home. Thank you random mum, you don't know what a difference that made

I’ve experienced so much kindness in my life, so can’t narrow down to just one.

• A ticket inspector paid for my ticket on a train after I stomped out of my boyfriends house (as I’d found him cheating) and I’d left all my money behind. Wouldn’t let me take his address to return the fare and made sure I had a travel card to get all the way home.

• When my son was discharged from the Evelina Children’s hospital we wanted to get to the station quickly, so despite being super skint (I had to take unpaid leave to watch my son in the hospital) we hailed a black cab to take us to the train station. The cab driver never spoke to us and we didn’t tell him our story or anything, but when we got to the station he refused to charge us any fare. Said he could tell where we’d come from and he just wished us well.

• I’ve had my purse returned to me twice after I’ve lost it. Once it had all my rings in as I took them off after my fingers swelled up when pregnant. Second time it had £200 in and it was my Christmas shopping money. Both times returned with no name for me to thank them.

I have loads of other examples, people are mostly good I think. Now I always try my hardest to be kind to people as I know how much I appreciated people being kind to me.

This thread is wonderful.
I've had an absolutely shitty day today, but this has cheered me up and made my eyes leak a wee bit. So thank you everyone - your kindness in sharing all these stories has helped one sad old wumman who was sitting in her kitchen and thinking what's the point. Xx

Tears in my eyes at these!

Lots of kindnesses from my DM, but a couple of things involving strangers have stayed with me.

A few years ago, I was at the bottom of a flight of stairs at Hammersmith station with a suitcase and a hand case. I’d just started to climb them, when a young man offered to help. I was so surprised (being male and reasonably fit) that I could only say a polite ‘no thank you’ - not that I wouldn’t have liked the help, but I’d got myself balanced, is that makes sense. How lovely to offer help, even when it’s not obviously needed.

Another time, I was on a night flight with Virgin. Most people were sleeping, but I wasn’t, and during the flight, had a 15/20 minute chat with one of the cabin crew. Nothing life-changing, just a very nice chat. Later, as the plane was beginning its descent, she came to my seat with a bottle of champagne to thank me for being nice. I was delighted, but also gobsmacked that a nice chat with a passenger would be such an unusual thing to happen to her.

Strange (but lovely) how seemingly small things can leave a lasting impression.

It’s not so much kind in a gesturing way but thoughtful in a way that has stuck with me.

I’m 23 and have ASD and I’m prone to panic in large crowds. Over summer I went on holiday to a theme park with three uni friends. (21, 21, and 20) and on the night time it gets so packed you can hardly move.

One of my 21yr old ‘macho’ male friends noticed I wasn’t ok, walking through the crowds on the way back (without me saying anything and not even my mother can tell when I’m starting to panic) so he subtly managed to guide our other male and female friend to stand just to the front and either side of me and he went behind me (he’s over 6ft and has really broad shoulders) creating like a moving protective barrier so I wouldn’t be bumped or stressed.

The next night as it was getting crowded our other friends were quite a bit further away from us I’m doing ok with the crowds but as we near the really crowded part where I would have started to get stressed he turned his head looked at me and grabbed my hand and pulled me close beside/behind him so I didn’t have to look at the moving crowd (it makes me dizzy and panicky) and then when we found our friends managed to wedge me beside them in the thankfully still crowd and stand behind me so I didn’t get bumped.

The last night we managed to leave just as the crowds were building yet on our way out he still took my hand and pulled me beside him so I wouldn’t stress. (Much to the amusement of our female friend who’d not noticed the night before and who is still teasing us now) she’s aware I don’t like crowds and I will hold onto whoever I’m with because I’ve done it to her before but thats different apparently. I’m not sure if our male friend knows because he definitely didn’t notice the second night and the third he’d left an hour earlier because he felt ill but his and some of our other male friends teasing are leading me to think otherwise but I’m not gonna ask because that’s inviting the jokes 😂

But even now my family can barely see when I’m stressed because I look so calm and collected on the outside they assume everything is ok. Whereas he was just walking beside me and figured it out without even speaking to me. And that’s stuck with me not just the noticing but the fact that my friend noticed I wasn’t ok and fixed it as best as he could without crowding or stressing me more by asking me what to do, just having a friend who can see I’m not in great control so takes over automatically without thinking any less of me or judging me for not being able to cope or manage.

I found out on the 1st day of the holiday that his older sister and his Dad have ASD to the same ‘level’ that I do. So he can see the struggle and the difficulties and understand that it means nothing about my abilities as a person. Which is very rare to find particularly in people his age. Lots of people say it but they don’t often mean it when it counts, but he does and it’s nice.

Lots of small acts of kindness towards me, but nothing that I remember that is worth a mention. But I’ll always remember one from my dad to someone else.

Dad was a regular with a Big Issue seller who worked outside a supermarket and they would always chat. At Christmas Dad decided that he wanted to give him a present - he didn’t know what he should buy him so decided to make him a lovely cake, wanting the Big Issue seller to know that someone cared enough to put the effort into making something for him.

It was Christmas Eve and Dad stopped at the supermarket to give his Big Issue seller friend the present before we headed to my grandparents. When he came back to the car he was all choked up - apparently the Big Issue seller had just landed a new job and accommodation on an oil rig and so today was his last day in a homeless hostel selling the Big Issue before starting his new life. He was apparently overcome with emotion that Dad went to the trouble of making the cake and really felt like everything was now coming together for him. I felt so proud of my dad. It was years ago now, but it’s stayed with me and always will.

Wonderful thread!

The one that stands out for me was whilst out on my delivery round

( postie) it started to rain, really really hard and I was Getting soaked. It hadn't forecast rain so didn't bring my waterproof. An old man that I had just delivered to came out with his waterproof coat, told me take it and keep a bit drier. He insisted, glad he did as the rain didn't let up. I took it back the next day and would often pop in when I could for a matter unto he died. It made such a change from the constant moaning.

There are lots of things I can think of but an easy one to describe is that on our first night on a holiday to Japan (in Kyoto) when we couldn't work out the street numbers or the way to our hostel at all, a lovely lady who spoke no English and was just out walking her dog came over to us. She indicated that she wanted to help and we showed her the name of the hostel and she took 10 minutes out of her way to walk us there. It was a really lovely thing to do.

What a lovely thread!

I run a Brownie pack at a church, although I'm not a member of the church and am actually an atheist. There's a group of elderly ladies who meet at the church once a week - they're mainly housebound but they're picked up and taken there and they have tea and cake etc and they also knit. I don't know any of these ladies personally.

A few weeks after my mum died, when you hit that period where nobody is asking if you're ok any more but you're definitely not ok yet, I got a package hand delivered to my house. It was a knitted scarf with a note that said "Dear Brown Owl. We just wanted you to know that we're thinking of you. With love and prayers from the knitting circle." I've just set myself off crying again remembering that and it was nearly 10 years ago!

This is such a lovely thread!
My story isn’t as touching as some but it made my day at the time.
I was walking my dog off lead and something spooked her so she bolted and ran I ran after her and fell over in a muddy ruby field spraining my ankle. I could not get up. I sat crying in the mud convinced my dog was gone and my ankle was broken. Alone came another dog walker who went and looked for my dog retrieved her and insisted she walk me home. I did manage to walk but I struggled she walked the dog for me and helped me hobble along. She then insisted that she came in the house naturally I was resistant she was a stranger but she sat me down took off my walking boot and found some frozen peas in the freezer for the swelling. She then made me a cup of tea and asked where she’d find some painkillers for me. We exchanged phone numbers and We often go out walking the dogs together now :)

Not perhaps as heartfelt as these but exactly what I needed.

My second son was a really difficult baby, henclister fed for hours at a time and if he wasn’t feeding then he was crying hysterically. Never slept.

I decided to take him to a baby massage. I was
Knackered after only an hours broken sleep, still I walked us to this sure start centre about 2 weeks PP. All the other babies bright eyes and looking around. My son screamed the second that I got him out, screamed through the massage. I tried to breastfeed but he screamed at that so I got flustered, packed up as quick as I could and in the process knocked over a bottle Of baby oil. All eyes were on me when one mum declared loudly ‘babies are fucking shit sometimes aren’t they’. Everyone laughed, the course leader took my son and bounced him til he settled, a couple of other mums helped me to clean up and got me a cup of tea, and I managed to spend 45 minutes not Feeling like I was failing in all aspects of parenting!

When moving house many years ago we decided to do the removals ourselves, a friend took both of my DD all day, feeding and entertaining them, bringing them back in time for bed, to enable us to unpack and get both DD girls rooms straight and filled with their favourite toys. She arrived with slow cooker full of hot casserole, microwaveable sides and fabulous deserts and wine. Needless to say we had been so busy we had not thought about eating all day, that meal tasted the absolute best and I have never forgotten her kindness in taking the girls all day and going that extra mile with getting us dinner. That was 20 years ago. 😇

A few weeks ago I was in the shop at 9am with dd (3). She is non verbal and in a wheelchair and was quite excited by the ice cream counter by the tills. She was excitedly gesturing that she wanted one and the man in the queue in front of us got her one

It was really kind, and I admit it made me cry.

The nurses who looked after me when I had a massive seizure on the tube and was completely vulnerable.

The person who chased after me when I left 50 in the cashpoint. I have done the same for others since.

The policeman who walked me home when drunk in charge of a bicycle.

My daughter partner and family who have done so many kind things.

Most people are kind.

Not heartfelt, but I'm always shocked at how many people have let me go in front of them in the queue at a busy supermarket checkout because I only have a couple items. It's just a sweet thing to do! Someone insisted I go in front of them today because I only had one thing - but they only had 4 themselves!