To be embarrassed to go to exercise classes because of my size

[survivalmode]

I'm a size 20 and woefully out of shape. I had a baby four months ago and haven't really moved since. My core has completely gone to shit. I am so stiff when I wake up in the morning that I find it hard to wipe after I've used the loo. I'm embarrassed by this.

I want to play with my kids on the floor and be able to get back up again without having to go on all fours and heave myself up. I want to be able to walk down the stairs alternately in the morning instead of shuffling down one step at a time. I want to be able to feel like I've wiped my arse properly.

Yoga appeals, not because I see it as an easy option, but because I feel like a lot of my weakness is in my core. I also suffer from anxiety and think that my breathing could be greatly improved.

But I'm too embarrassed to book a class. For the first few months I'm not even sure I'd be able to hold the most simple poses. I feel very awkward about my gut/upper arms dangling all over the place. In my head I picture the class being full of size 8 women with perky high ponytails. And it terrifies me.

AIBU to feel this way? (Also, if you're about to suggest that I eat less please spare yourself the trouble, I know this needs work too)

Are you going to address your diet op? Loads of friendly people over in the big/slim/whatever threads

On the back of this thread I just joined a boot camp for the first time at 19 stone. I'm going to do it

Hi OP i know the proper answer is, get out there and ignore everybody else.However as someone who also has weight issues i understand its not all that easy or simple.

My personal plan is to lose weight initially just through diet, then i'm going to introduce some home DVD workouts and then when i'm confident enough brave the gym. This is a plan i'm comfortable with. Also, things like walks can really help.

First OP go to your GP and get a blood panel done. Make sure you're not anaemic, low in vit D or anything else before you start otherwise you'll just feel even worse when you start exercising ❤ I say this from experience

(Also if you have a fitbit or garmin or google fit - sign up to Stepbet! It saved my sanity when my little boy was 4/5m old as it meant I had to get out the house and walk!)

So speaking as part-time fitness instructor:

Check out gyms to find one with a normal, friendly vibe. Try a few classes here and there. Near me, for instance, the leisure centre is very chill and fun. There are unfortunately some snooty places out there but you can usually tell as soon as you step in the door when the atmosphere is off.

Then once you've found a good place, go for it!

Personally I would recommend group classes to start with as you can sort of follow along and be taken on a journey, without having anyone focus on you exclusively. A good instructor will offer different variations/modifications of exercises and make space for all fitness levels. Everyone there has their own agenda: they want to gain weight/lose weight/recover from injury/get in better shape to play with grandkids/deal with MH probs/what-have-you.

Please go. I doubt anyone will even notice or care!

Im a 20 / 22 and go to Pilates. I am by far the biggest there but I can still doit although rather ungainly getting down to the floor. My core strength has massively improved, my bum is firm, big but firm and although there are times when I cant reach the way the slim ones do cos boobs / belly get in way I manage most of it. give pilates a go, take a mat at the back and improve your health.

Yoga with Adriene on YouTube is amazing! Lots of variety. Also walking or couch to 5k until you are more confident?

At class I can't think about any one else as too busy trying to get myself into position to notice anyone else. The better you get the harder you can push yourself so even experts are probably really pushing so won't notice. Lastly yoga is often about being mindful and kind to yourself as well as others, it attracts a nice crowd. Go for it OP.

Yes couch to 5k is fantastic! I used to run a lot, but stopped in pregnancy cause of issues and have struggled to get back into it cause of back/hip pain... and couch to 5k has been so amazing!

I'm an instructor. Please, please don't be embarrassed to book a class! You'll find that most classes have a complete range of people - different ages, weights, injury issues, shapes and fitness levels. I've been teaching for many years and I don't think that I've ever taught a class to just size 8's with perky ponytails :-)

A decent instructor will give lots of different options and modifications so that you can exercise at your own pace and feel great about it. Everyone in a class will be busy concentrating on themselves and won't notice you at all (in the nicest possible way of course!)

Choose something that you enjoy and have fun with it. Good luck!

I've been to many yoga classes over the years - all filled with men and women of all ages (from teens to pensioners!) of all shapes and sizes. Get something to wear that you'll feel comfortable and not self-conscious in, and then go for it!

I'm 4 months post partum too and just back from a specific post natal pilates class. If there is anything like that in your area it could be a shout. It's all about the core and pelvic floor (which can take a battering during pregnancy).
I'd recommend (if you've not already) getting checked for muscle separation in your abdominals - as I'd expect a class teacher to want to know about this and tailor/give options so you can exercise safely. Make sure you take care of your pelvic floor...
Walking with pram/pushchair is the other thing I do at the moment. I went to a variety of classes up to about 28wks (when I had such terrible oedema I couldn't get any trainers on) and as many other people have said, there's a variety of sizes and abilities. When I started I was on the bigger side and had the same worries. If anyone noticed it wasn't obvious and certainly no one said anything. I'm in the "too busy worrying about my own shit" camp.

Reiterating so much of what's already been said! I go to a weekly yoga class and it's so inclusive, kind and easy-going. Our instructor says you do yoga for the body you have now and it's so true. She says that's why you don't do yoga, you practise.

It's helped me so much - physically and mentally. Wishing you lots of luck.

It easy for me to say that no one will judge you but harder for you to believe it’s true. But it is true. I’m a size 8 but it wouldn’t even cross my mind to think anything other than “well done!” for someone trying to better themselves through exercise regardless of their weight/size.

Is it possible for you to book a 1-1 session with a yoga instructor for them to show you the moves and get you started and hopefully increase your confidence to start a class? To be honest when I was working with a Pilates instructor she only ran 1-1 sessions because students got so much more out of it as they could be corrected in their posture on a more detailed level. It’s more expensive but might be worth it short term to ease your anxiety for group sessions.

Please don’t forget that absolutely everyone has to start somewhere and this could be such a positive step towards you feeling better about yourself. The other people in the class are only there to work on themselves too.

I used to do a lot of yoga and one of the most impressive students in one of my classes must have been a size 22 or more. She was amazing. Very strong core and she could do a lot more than I could and I was skinny then!

I also need to get back to it. It’s such a good form of exercise. Good luck!

Leslie Sansone Walk At Home is great. It's all walking based, but with enough variation and good music to make it fun. I genuinely feel happier and more motivated after a workout. When I started, I struggled to get through the 1 mile walks, but over a few months I've built up and can now do longer workouts at a higher pace! So it really works.

If you feel a mile is too much (remembering you stay at home, so can always stop if you have to) then there are some shorter ones on YouTube. Some use equipment like a resistance band, but you can do the moves without one. And if you can't do one of the moves you can just go back to a basic walk.

PS I've lost nearly 4 stone since June though a combination of Leslie and Slimming World.

Yanbu. I also found the hardest part aside from actually going was in finding exercise clothing to actually fit!

How can obese people lose weight through exercise if no sports clothing manufacturers cater for those sizes?!

I'd say start at home doing the stuff mentioned in this thread and build from there. I naively tried yoga as an overweight woman and there was loads I just could do. It was humiliating and made me feel worse about myself.

**Couldn't do

MardAsSnails what boot camp are you going to? I've been looking at some but can't work out what would suit me best.
OP I'm adding my opinion agreeing that people will look at you far less than you imagine. Once a class starts everybody is concentrating on themselves.

I always used to wear sports clothing for yoga, but recently started again and didn't have any.

I've been using normal leggings and t shirts. I haven't found any problems, except they don't look so sporty. Most other people in my class also just wear normal leggings and t shirts the same as me. So, don't be put off if you don't have the right clothing.

whitecurrants it’s a specific one to my gym - they market it as a 21 day beach body class. I’m not in the UK so don’t know what similar there would be. Daily class at 7:30pm (or 6am, which isn’t gonna happen ), with a mix of HIIT, weights sessions, yoga, kangoo jumps, and core sessions. Currently sitting here aching like mad!

You should go!!
I’m a young size 8 female who frequents the gym and I would never ever look badly upon a larger size person exercising!
I actually love to see people of all ages and sizes out there exercising and trying to better themselves.
I doubt anyone cares much about another persons appearance at the gym, and if someone does they are the one that should be embarrassed of themselves for being such a horrible person.

OP, maybe ask your GP to refer you to women's physio before engaging in too much exercise.

My core was demolished by two pregnancies. I'm six months pp now and my core is starting to feel better with twice a day exercise recommended by a physio.

When I go to the gym I walk on a high gradient on a treadmill (keeping my hands on the sides for support and to ensure I don't put strain on my core) for about 20 mins and some free weights to tone my arms.

I do this two to three times a week alongside daily physio and I have lost inches and regained some waist shape.

You don't need to do this at a gym though, you can walk and walk some more with a pram and use the old tinned beans to start with gentle weights!

Much luck with your fitness journey...and remember to be kind to yourself along the way