Hi,
So, I've been on and off with a lovely, kind and loving guy for almost two years - he's basically waited for me to get my head around becoming a mum unexpectedly in 2016... we dated early 2017 and I just wasn't ready.
A couple of months ago we reconnected and it's the best relationship so far I have ever been in we've really really clicked...
I've been in a bit of a flummox in the last 12 months as I want to invest XX amount in BTL properties and HMOs to complete my existing property portfolio and secure mine and my daughters future. I worked my ass of from the age of 20-33 and then sold my business which left me with a block of money but no career as it was a very specialised area.
My new partner is an artist - is fantastic at interior design and also building (he basically built a whole downstairs basement renovation 5 years ago bringing in the help of his friends and professionals for the items his expertise didn't cover. It was incredible and a massive financial success for the property in terms of adding value.
He's offered to give up a couple of days a week of his self employed business and help me go to auctions, research areas and different types of properties and available yields and then manage the renovations - which is massively valuable to me as just hiring a builder would mean I'd be paying inflated prices for such things.... in return I will cover the loss of income for those days instead.
Ive also been a bit stuck on where to start with it all plus managing my toddler etc and need his help or run the risk of being ripped off in so many ways and messing up this one shot of boxing off our future.
All that seems ok and a no brainer... he's not on an income where he could lose out on business to come and just "do" this as a favour. There's a big difference in our financial situations.
However he has said that if he were ever to move in with me (half way across the country) which he's willing to do and realistic in that it wouldn't be me and my daughter upping roots - he would only do that if he had a fall back plan IE a property of his own to fall back on should things not work out.
He isn't in a position to buy a property of his own... so I think he means us somehow making this happen through the investment ventures or taking a share of equity etc.. he had to start from scratch again ten years ago and it was a horrible time for him. I completely understand that.
This probably sounds confusing! He's willing to basically take this on full time (which is a risk for him as he'd be giving up his self employed client base he's built up over 5 years) and I'm not stupid I have lawyers and accountants and financial advisors to do all my paperwork etc) but it's messy and I've been in financially abusive relationships in the past so I'm trying to get my head around it.
I suppose the options are for him to just earn a wage for working on my projects but that still wouldn't change his situation enough to buy his own place as a fall back if you see what I mean. I know for a fact we could renovate at least 50% lower than what an average builder would charge as he's very resourceful and talented and a hard worker, he would fully immerse himself in a project and crack on all hours of the day....
This is a serious relationship with a future, we have two years of history and he's been the most patient and gentle and loving man I've ever met. I told him in that time I was not interested & I didn't see a future of me bringing a partner into mine and DDs life - and he did date but both of those women told him he was in love with me and they knew it... and we kept reconnecting. All my friends also said the same repeatedly and just think I'm the last to the party to realise so to speak. I wanted to prioritise my DD first which I have done and she's flourishing.
I just don't want to be blinded by love now that I've fallen for the idea of the relationship. I'm the one with the child, we're really happy in our life but I'd love more children and so would he and we are not young.... but I do have this fear over how to proceed with my property venture... I need his help or someone's help!
It's a really good fit in a way - we've a great shot at doing something really cool together here - but does this all sound fair from both sides do you think? Am I being "too" careful given what he's offering to give up or vice versa?
TIA 