Name 1 thing you HATE about DP/DH

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Name 1 habit you hate..... it's Monday night, I'll start....

he leaves his shoes NEXT TO the shoe rack 😩

He never, ever, ever gets annoyed. Never. At anything. Ever. In 17 years. Believe me, I've tried so hard!

crosser62..."kill him in the fucking face" I love this!!!

Just thought of something that annoys me even more than the hoarding...and this one needs a diagram.

This is the layout of our kitchen, showing the position of the cooker, fridge, food cupboard and the door to the utility room/garage/back garden.

The blue line shows my path back and forth between cooker and fridge/cupboard in the course of cooking an average meal.

The red line shows his path in and out of the utility on some urgent business that absolutely has to be done while I'm cooking.

He has narrowly avoided being hit in the face with a hot pan on many occasions.

Cheddar I'm in stitches!

Smokes

The sheer laziness. Also, his inability to have a shit and wipe his arse without using 385858 toilet rolls in the process.

He always thinks, as he is in possession of a penis, that he is right.
Even though, in 20 years, 99.5% of the time I have been.

@Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly

Oh this. Just this.

How much tissue does it take to wipe your hole?

He is, in almost every way, the perfect husband.

However - he fidgets. A lot. He fidgets while sleeping, while falling asleep, while sitting on the sofa. If it was just, I don't know, tapping a pen or something, it wouldn't bother me as much, but he either scratches himself, complete with rolling up with entire tshirt and scratching with all five fingernails all over his body, or he is just moving his body position. It is literally every 10 seconds sometimes and I can't stand it. His mum can't either. He has gotten slightly better since we got married because it really was driving me crazy, especially because he has no spacial awareness and would frequently hit me by mistake while doing it.

The only other thing is his total lack of forethought on small things. The big stuff - no problem. But say he's cooking dinner but he also needs to have a shower. If I was in his position, I'd put dinner on and let it cook while I was having a shower. Not him. He will spend 30 minutes in the shower, THEN spend an hour cooking something in the oven while saying he's hungry over and over again. Or, he knows that the dog will growl if he is let on the bed and we have to turf him off. He never remembers to shut the door to stop the dog going on the bed AND THEN he never remembers to bring treats to encourage the dog off the bed which results in the dog growling which I really want to discourage. Then he turns around and goes 'oh yeah, right!' and goes to get the treats, the dog now thinks 'great, I get rewarded for growling!!'

We have had this conversation 1000 times but he just does not seem to have the ability to plan ahead in this way.

ma yes, similarly, my husband also never gets annoyed and it annoys me that he doesn't get annoyed. Our loud, stampy neighbours, people parking in our space, people chewing gum loudly on the train with their mouth open - how I have tried to get him to engage on these fascinating matters but nope. He just goes 'oh, yeah, I didn't notice'.

HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE.

**The shitting. The endless interminable 24/7 shitting. Fucker is never happier than when he's on his way to the bathroom to have a shit. Logic dictates that he cannot possibly really be shitting so much - I hope.

If it’s not shitting it’s talking about shitting!

I have more.
I like to watch soaps, trashy tv, films etc. I watch them purely for entertainment. He has to find fault The wanker in everything. Or he comments about how that would be impossible in real life. Or worse he kind of gets into it and asks me who is who and what is what? So I start to tell him and it's like he remembers himself while I'm mid explanation and goes "Oh actually I'm not arsed" and fucks off to busy himself doing nothing elsewhere. But then he comes back and stands at the door watching. The first I know he's there is when he dares to ask for another catch up. He then acts all hurt when I lose my rag and tell him to bounce.

Poor dh will come home from work and I'll be mad at him. He'll be a bit baffled. But he deserves it.

He unwraps something (food item) and leaves the wrapper on the side instead of throwing it away.
He sniffs and then makes this hacking noise as he tries to clear his throat [why is there not a vomiting smiley?]
He loses things and blames me for moving said item. When he finds it later, somewhere he left it, he never apologises.
He's a noisy eater
He's fussy - to the point of being anal - about how clean the cars are kept, yet is very messy inside the house
He doesn't check he's left the toilet clean after having a shit
He uses tons of toilet paper but doesn't always replace an empty roll
He never helps with the washing up and even putting stuff in the dishwasher is too much trouble
I'm reading my own list and wondering why I'm still with this bloke!

The snoring. I could kill him for it! It’s beyond a joke now!

Zuma, are we married to the same bloke?

What Zuma said, and snoring.

He's very untidy. Leaves little piles of himself everywhere. I just step over it or move it out of my way. But it drives me mad.
We've been married nearly 30 years and I haven't managed to get him to stop yet.

After he’s had his shower he will go and sit on my side of the bed with the damp towel wrapped round him, sit there for a while then leave the towels on the fucking floor. Washing basket is a mere 5 steps away.

Toe nail clippings.

Countless times where he has had our 12 week old DS on his lap and he calls me over all excited and ask me to look DS head / face etc then I find out I’ve just walked into a fart.

The one that really grinds my fucking gears is if I’m reading a book / watching tv he will start talking to me. So I pause the tv / stop the book then he leaves the room. He then continues to do this throughout the programme.

Fucking hell it took me 3 bastard hours once to watch X Factor!!!

But I wouldn’t want anyone else

Why do men actually like shitting so much? My DF comes home for a lunchtime shit?!

Every time he makes a coffee he takes the spoon out of the cup and leaves it on the side next to the kettle.

He makes about 16 cups of coffee a day.

He insists he needs a cup of coffee to help him sleep so has one at half past ten at night and can’t understand why he’s so tired all the time. He insists he’s immune to caffeine.

He cuts his toenails into the bathtub and leaves them there until I literally scream at him to remove them. One time I just put them in his coffee cup to prove a point.

I think you are all secretly married to my DH! I just thought i’d got the irritating one!

Constantly blathering on about vaping, or vape related topics like I give a shite, leaving said vape gear EVERYWHERE KNOWN TO MAN, Picking his nose, picking scabs or dead skin and eating them, sleeps in his clothes unless I kick up shit about it..

Hmm, bone cracking..

I could go on, but despite his faults, I love him to death.

I've wanted to choke him a few times during this pregnancy for breathing too loud, though.

He doesn't listen
He's selfish
He night fishes every weekend
He's a back seat parent

Yeah, i can't count either.

I've thought of something else that does seem to be common to many men.

His consumption of toilet paper is off the scale. My loo roll buying has more than doubled since I met him. I've asked him what he does with it and he just looks at me.

My DS is equally profligate with the stuff. Why? Do they eat it?

He doesn't listen to the whole conversation e.g. he says "What would you like for Christmas?" I say "Anything but don't buy perfume". Of course, he gets perfume because he could remember me talking about it!

He drools on the pillows when he sleeps