Name 1 thing you HATE about DP/DH

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Name 1 habit you hate..... it's Monday night, I'll start....

he leaves his shoes NEXT TO the shoe rack 😩

He races around on a morning and acts like he's in the military. Everyone has to be out of bed and dressed minimum 45 mins before we leave. God help the 9 year old still putting her socks on 44 mins before time! And it's just a constant stream of instructions that none of us need!

I just like to get ready on a morning in my own time!

The farts... oh god the farts!!!

The untidiness! I honestly can’t keep up!

His sister’s husband .

Oh that’s not a habit is it?

Hmmmmm, his tendency to have a vile BIL .

Farts probably. Or picking his nose and eating it (not envy). He’s stopped doing the latter one in my presence actually as I hate it so much.

Waking up bloody early and taking over the kitchen with radio blaring extremely loudly. I can't bear to go in there until he pisses off.

Jiggling his leg incessantly whilst sitting near me, whole sofa/table/bed/car shakes, just why??

And the biggie, the fucking awful squelching noise when he eats . I turn the radio up really loud or walk out of the room in silent rage. He thinks I have oversensitive hearing, yet regularly tells me he thinks that I am going deaf when I ignore him talking..

He leaves glasses on the coffee table. Every. Damn.Day

The mess
The half-jobbing (eg putting the dishwasher on but leaving the wrapper for the tablet on the side. Why? The bin is RIGHT there)
Putting recycling (eg empty jars) in the sink to be rinsed (rinse it yourself maybe?)
Taking his clothes off and dumping them on the floor
Utterly insensitive, unfunny and inappropriate ‘jokes’ (and then getting annoyed when anyone takes offence)
The hours spent frantically scrolling on his phone (and the irritation with anyone else who does the same)
Inability to stand up to his parents (we work full time - do they really need to visit from Friday to Monday?)

Everything

His social habits. Just got back from another ruined dinner out. 8yo, her godparents, us. For dd’s birthday. DH had to monopolise the conversation, several decibels too loud, about how impressive he was at work this week. Never tops up other people’s drinks, never helps with the kid or involves her in the chat. Last to finish, so everyone waits for him. Starts a boring rant with waiter about jazz, when he knows I’m trying to get dd home for bed on a school-night.

I was having fantasies about tying all the napkins together and using them to strangle him. I’m sure no one would have stopped me.

@DragonMamma 😂😂 I cringed just reading that. DP would be under the patio...

Falling asleep on sofa on our date nights (no step kids and our baby is asleep). I want a cuddle n watch a film but he needs to stretch out on whole sofa...then wham....asleep. n bloody snoring.

Nothing little whatsoever. He literally does nothing irritating. He has a biggie though - he had an affair though last year. One of the reasons I'm happy to try to move on together, is that day-to-day we get on just fine.

Faffing, he could faff for England except he’d be late for the contest due to fucking faffing.

the overdramatic responses to pain or being ill (he gets it from MIL)

he's never just 'twinged' or 'pulled' his arm , it's been 'wrenched'

it's such a small thing and I am probably just as bad but it makes me eye roll when he and his Mum do it.

Blatantly picking his nose and eating it.

Scratching/picking his arse hair - not the generic ball scratching, extreme arsehole scratching.

The farting. The gratuitous, endless, gut-rot farting.

Not clearing his plate. There are always leftovers and instead of binning them or swilling his plate, he'll just leave it lying wherever for me.

Blatantly picking his nose and eating it.
Scratching/picking his arse hair - not the generic ball scratching, extreme arsehole scratching.
The farting. The gratuitous, endless, gut-rot farting

I know this makes me sound chlidish but I honestly think I would leave- I have such a weak stomach that even reading this makes me gag so I would have to go!!

Last minute faffing
Takes an age to do anything, no matter the rush we're in
Obsessively tidies when stressed (i.e. i can't find anything)
Cleans cooking implements and puts ingredients away WHILE I'M STILL USING THEM
Noisy gulps of water at bedtime (that one's ruined his chances more times than he realizes)
Noisy eating, doesn't close his mouth. It totally puts me off my food.

Otherwise he's lovely

He never learnt the word ‘sorry’. He will sulk for two days rather than admit he’s wrong, then do something thoughtful to appease me... but he could skip all of that by just apologising when he’s wrong!!

He cracks his knuckles constantly.

I might divorce him...

Ugh @Shockers, my dad is like that. It’s enraging. Just apologise when you’re wrong ffs!

He’s such a slow eater. He takes tiny little forkfuls and then pauses for a minute or two between each one. I eat my food at a normal rate and I’m always finished about 20 mins before him and his food is stone cold. Drives me mad!

@crochetmonkey74 somehow I still fancy him and procreated with him, he does it on purpose because it winds me up! I think the nose picking/dad farts are built into men thing as every male I've ever encountered did/does them, including DS.

Oh I forgot, he also snapchats me pictures of him on the toilet. And they say romance is dead.

Puts his dirty clothes on top of the laundry bin instead of inside them. WHY???? You've made the effort to take them over to the bin, is it really that hard to lift the lid and drop them inside once you're there???

And the inhaling noise he makes with associated lip-smacking when he's eating slices of pizza. Doesn't do it with any other food type.