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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be freaking out about moving from London to Wales?

419 replies

AutoFillUsername · 11/11/2018 21:46

Long story short: lived in London for twenty years, married a Londoner, have Londerner kids, love London, have great London friends. Now DH has been offered a job in Cardiff and its a great job. So we have to move. But Gosh I’m scared.

I know nothing of Wales. I went to Cardiff once with work and I didn’t love it. I’m thinking if we have to move maybe we should go the whole hog and live in the countryside but I can’t even work out what is commutable to Cardiff.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

And if you are Welsh where would you live that is commutable to Cardiff and lovely and friendly and beautiful? We will also need good schools, maybe private but I’m open minded to state as well.

OP posts:
wiwzer · 13/11/2018 11:03

Hey OP
I'm a London girl recently moved to Cardiff and it's not that bad. But it depends what kind of "London" you like.

Eg. Lots of people say shopping in Cardiff is great, I don't agree. It's standard, it's like a Bluewater I guess. If you like SHOPPING shopping then the closest thing resembling London is Harvey Nicks in Bristol (it's a tiny one though)

The people are lovely imo.

So easy to get to London by train.

As for that first house in Old St Mellon's, I've actually been to view it .
It was nice, the kitchen is amazing but we went for a different property in the end (feel free to DM me about it if you like)

I feel your pain for finding a rental property in Cardiff.

Old st Mellon's, Cowbridge, Penarth, Dinas Powys, Roath, are all areas I would consider although OSM is quite far from the centre.

Private schools are pretty good, check out ESTYN and Welsh isn't compulsory if in private.

Any other Qs send me a message!

cantthinkofausernamee · 13/11/2018 11:06

I did this exact opposite!!! I moved from Wales to London and actually really missed Cardiff. I think if you're going from a big city to a smaller one you will regret living in the countryside. Where I lived was 40 mins on train to Cardiff and I commuted but there was nothing there! Nothing going on and a train every hour- one a Sunday one every 2 hours. Housing there is so cheap so I'd look at Cardiff bay which is really lovely with great housing and super close to central

cantthinkofausernamee · 13/11/2018 11:08

Just seen you have children. As PP say I vote Cowbridge, beautiful place very villagey and they have one of the best comprehensive schools around. It
Dosent have a train station though, nearest would be Llantwit Major, also very beautiful with a lovely beach

goose1964 · 13/11/2018 11:10

I've lived in Rhiwbina, Cathays ( cat Hayes ) and Dina's Powys and would recommend Rhiwbina or Dinas, both thoroughly middle class with decent social calendars.

I'd move back at the drop of a hat.

thighofrelief · 13/11/2018 11:37

I moved a lot as a kid for Dad's job. It was very hard but has really stood me in good stead as an adult. It's made me independent, confident and adaptable. I found cities easier than small places. Remember kids can't drive and don't appreciate beautiful views. I personally would try to get as close to the city centre as possible.

Avegemitesandwich · 13/11/2018 11:47

I've lived in Rhiwbina, Cathays ( cat Hayes) and Dina's Powys and would recommend Rhiwbina or Dinas

Not Cathays though? Wink

ProfessorMoody · 13/11/2018 11:53

How odd. Cardiff is great for shopping - I didn't realise shopping was defined by a single Harvey Nicks. I wouldn't touch that shop with a bargepole, nor other "designer" labels.

As well as the usual boring fashion shops, Cardiff has a wonderfully rich shopping centre, with a huge undercover modern arcade, a second arcade and then quite a few old and stunningly beautiful arcades that host independent retailers which are just lovely. There is also a high street and a market that is full of character and that's just the city centre.

I'm also not sure why people are so set on Cowbridge and Penarth as areas to live. When I was a child, they were seen as "posh" but now they are quite run down and tatty, particularly Penarth. There are some nice little independent shops in Cowbridge but nothing really to write home about. It's OK for a couple of hours out, but I wouldn't want to live there.

ProfessorMoody · 13/11/2018 11:54

Oh, and if you're looking at Private schooling, as someone who was privately educated in the area, avoid Westbourne. Horrific school.

londontocaerdydd · 13/11/2018 12:14

I was surprised by the "like Bluewater" comment too. It's not like that at all.

londontocaerdydd · 13/11/2018 12:15

Wonder how OP is getting on with the visit?

ProfessorMoody · 13/11/2018 12:52

I was too. I hate Bluewater, just the thought Envy

Slimtimeagain · 13/11/2018 12:54

I read to page 7 but have not read further.
So I grew up in a small Welsh town, about 1 hour drive to Cardiff. I now live in Bristol.
First of all, someone said a commute from Bristol to Cardiff is 40 mins, this is a lie! It'll take about 1 hour and more if traffic is bad..if you moved to Bristol, the traffic is awful!!! Took me 1.25 hours to get from South to north Bristol the other day. It's shocking and public transport is terrible. I do love Bristol but I know When I have children that I'd like to move near Cardiff and bring them up there. Direct trains from Cardiff to London means you can visit London some weekends quite easily.
Cardiff has great shops, a theatre, museum etc.. loads of fun days out within an hour for kids, especially little ones. I miss the beach, living in Bristol means no decent beach anywhere nearby! I'd recommend a drive to Pembroke way if you move, some lovely beaches down there making a great day out. No where in the UK will compare to London, why would it?
I love how friendly and community orientated Wales is. In my town I grew up in I know a lot of people, I'd never go to the shop without knowing someone. Ok may not be for everyone, but I love it!

Also to those moaning about learning Welsh, why shouldn't they have to learn a bit of Welsh? Would you move to France and forever speak English? No!
They won't be sat learning science and maths in the Welsh language so stop worrying!
It's unfortunate that a poster (can't remember username) had such a terrible experience but please don't worry. Unfortunately racism happens everywhere, I wish we could put a stop to it. I've experienced racism in England as well as Wales!

Slimtimeagain · 13/11/2018 12:55

Not to mention the principality stadium which have bands and artists playing, and rugby matches! You should see Cardiff on a match day. The town is totally buzzing! It's amazing

BlueNeighbourhood · 13/11/2018 13:16

I’ve just RTFT and I don’t know if it’s me but the fact your husband applied for a job 300 miles away just so you could work less seems a pretty knee jerk reaction? Or is that just me?

Surely if you’ve been diagnosed with a condition you sit down and work out the best things to do with minimum upheaval for the family. I’m not from London or Cardiff but from my experience of both I’d rather live in London than Cardiff and it would suit my lifestyle so much more.

Looking through your daughters eyes, couldn’t she board at her private school in a London and come to Cardiff during the holidays? Or maybe, as a family you should all take a step back and instead of rushing go through every single option before deciding to uproot your children from everything they know and their grandparents. I would absolutely hate my parents if they had done that to me at that sort of age. It’s like he’s been offered the job and everything has to be sorted immediately. You could change job in London to a PT one, you could downsize, he could commute for six months to make sure it’s right for him. You really need to take a step back and not go gung-ho which is what it looks like right now.

DollyD65 · 13/11/2018 13:28

We moved to Wales ( from Bristol ) nearly 20 years ago. We wanted a more rural lifestyle and smaller class sizes.Our kids were preschool and have benefitted hugely from growing up here. We live in the mountains, so they have had loads of freedom and a wonderful, safe outdoor childhood. I would opt for a small town ( we live in a small village ) rather than Cardiff. Welsh towns are v welcoming to incomers. Schools in Cardiff tend be huge. GCSE Welsh is compulsory BUT there are ways around that, no SATs and we still have AS here, which imo is much better. Both our kids did/are doing really well in school, eldest at Uni and youngest doing A levels. People are unbelievably friendly and generous. We have made masses of friends here. We will stay when our kids leave home.

Trampire · 13/11/2018 13:44

Isn't it weird that so many people seem to have a completely different view of a place, and that people main criticism of Cardiff is that it's not like London.

I live in Bristol and love Cardiff (said previously on this thread). We go regularly.

I grew up up in North Wales where speaking/learning Welsh is hugely compulsory and a big part of life there. I benefited from it positively and it never held me back from anything.
Cardiff seems positively 'English' compared to North Wales in that respect.

I think Cardiff is a very modern forward thinking city. Bristol City Council could learn a lot about town planning and regeneration from Cardiff but that's another story.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/11/2018 14:56

I wouldn’t be even considering doing anything for 6 months.

Like a pp I don’t understand the rush.

Your dh Igbo get there and think it isn’t for him.

The company might decide he isn’t the right fit/Brexit/downsizing etc

If you want to give up work or lower your hours and your dd is in private school you could move to the Home Counties/London boarders.

You maybe get a bigger house for less money and your dd could commute in.

I live in a similar area and dd went to school in central London. Under 40 minutes door to door.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/11/2018 14:57

I feel your dh is pushing for you to move too quickly.

Motoko · 13/11/2018 17:12

Would you move to France and forever speak English? No

You can't compare South Wales to France! Hardly anyone here speaks Welsh, and there are plenty of Welsh people who get fed up with Welsh being compulsory.
Where DH works, he has to answer the phone in Welsh first, yet if someone replies back in Welsh, he has to say that he can't speak it (he's Welsh). It's ridiculous.

LasMeninas · 13/11/2018 17:25

Where DH works, he has to answer the phone in Welsh first, yet if someone replies back in Welsh, he has to say that he can't speak it

😂 That is such a perfect example of absurd bureaucracy!

Slimtimeagain · 13/11/2018 17:27

motoko I'm not comparing them. I'm just saying that a country should be able to encourage children to learn their language. And actually, in the town I grew up in, most could speak Welsh and many still do now. We don't want the language to die out!

SavageBeauty73 · 13/11/2018 17:33

Unless your DH really wants the job, I'm puzzled by this. If you love London, you have options. Work part time, downsize, send your kids to state school. That'll free up a lot of pressure.

I'm a Londoner born and bred. I would look at all options before uprooting my family. Plus Wales is going to be heavily hit by Brexit.

disappointedyetagain · 13/11/2018 17:35

Yes - to everyone who asked if my comment about signs was a wind-up.

I get a lot of visitors from all over the UK. They all rent a car as I'm rural and only have one car. Almost everyone complains about the signs on roundabouts - they're abbreviated and so worn on busy ones, that they're VERY hard to read, especially in the dark or in bad weather.

The amount of accidents on some local roundabouts is frightening. I long ago started leaving gaps as people swerve into lanes willy-nilly, but then I get impatient drivers trying to get in the lane in front of me. If even some of these are people unable to read the lane markings, it adds up to another accident waiting to happen.

I just went through my address book and counted 16 out of 19 of my last visitors that have commented on lane markings. Road signs not generally a problem as they're clear enough. The only two that haven't complained were people from Canada who are used to bi-lingual road markings.

Gonzoo · 13/11/2018 17:42

@AutoFillUsername I think you've forgotten that you'll need to pay tax on your rental income which will take a mighty chunk unless you have a very small mortgage. Don't sell. Rent and try it for a year. You can always take capital out of the london house and buy a second smaller home in Cardiff or nearby. Then you can go home someday.

disappointedyetagain · 13/11/2018 17:43

Slimtimeagain How is forcing people to learn Welsh stopping the language to die out? I did an O and A level in Welsh and still can't speak it as the "locals" do - and I'm born and bred in the same village.

OP's older DH would probably find it a waste of time and resources being forced to take Welsh. In my experience - granted not vast - people who really want to speak Welsh are those brought up with it or, and this is just chatting to them in the local shop, have moved here and have a genuine interest in learning.

In 30 years I've only come across three of the latter.

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