Ill Husband. FFS it's a cold not the bubonic plague

[Shiklah]

Poorly husband driving me mad. It's a cold, just a cold. He's doing this fucking cough that seems to start whenever anyone else speaks and involves sticking his tongue out. WTF??

sorry, I know its mean, I need to blow of steam

Oh if he is that sick he should be in bed with a hot water bottle (and way out of your proximity)

I'm dying at the visual! Mine, thankfully, just starts sounding like Barry White and tells me he has a cold, lots. I can cope with this.

Lemsip=caffeine and paracetamol. Give him coffee, paracetamol and sympathy. Poor lamb, actually lying on the floor? To what end?! Have you no beds in the house??

Just told my poorly dh that he is not alone. That men up and down the country were suffering with man flu. He weakly raised his fist and said "together we can beat it"

One of my favourite clips:

Ohh I feel bad now. I've been suffering with this shitty cold for nearly a week, I totally lost my voice for 3 days and now I suspect a chest infection because I sound like popping candy when I breathe and I can't stand up without the room spinning. I've been whispering and gesticulating to try and get the kids attention (hopeless, doesn't work) and coughing and mouth breathing. I promise I've been proper sick though!

The scarf . Mine had it last week he annoyed me with the lack of medicine taking, take some paracetamol or have a Beechams, he responds in his whimpering voice "no I think I'd be better taking something before bed". It was 9am. He then insisted on cleaning the bathroom even though I'd told him to go to bed. Wore a beanie hat all day and asked if I could make him some broth at 10pm.i got him a Chinese. Irritating.

These are brilliant. DH clutched his knob thru his jogging bottoms when he coughed during an ill fated attempt to get dressed this morning.

I hope you feel better soon @PetuliaBlavatsky. I kind of wish DH would lose his voice. His whinging is really irritating me!

I am the Man Flu sufferer in our house whereas my husband just gets on with it when he's ill. I don't do the DGOD or weird cough, just lay on the sofa whinging and demanding honey and lemon and chocolate. I got my own back though earlier this year when we were joking about me having man flu and I ended up in hospital with pneumonia.

@Shiklah just read your posts to my DH he's creased. Mostly at dropping the tissue on the floor like a bastard. I reminded him of last weekend and omitted to point out n here that he removed his beanie and sweatshirt and walked(I offered to go) to the shop in a T shirt to get some more Beechams despite having 45 or so boxes, this was because he's not keen on the taste of paracetamol and blackcurrant together, he prefers it with lemon. Knob.

Just told my poorly dh that he is not alone. That men up and down the country were suffering with man flu. He weakly raised his fist and said "together we can beat it"

I am weeping here! Hilarious!

He's gone to make his lemsip. I suggested a Calpol chaser and he smiled. Maybe there is hope.

He's going to slurp it loudly I bet, and make the same noise you make when you come in from the rain Peter Kay style. Sympathies for you.

Omg mine does the herrhhhhhh noise, I bet it's the exact same noise. He also rubs the middle of his chest with his thumb after a coughing fit.

Now the cat is snoring and making a weird wheezing noise. FFS. Meanwhile, DH is clutching his lemsip with both hands.

Dh often has ‘migraines’. Ones which let him watch TV though and play on his phone and eat. Weird eh?

I am sick. My husband is sick. Obviously he is sicker than me. We both have a cold.

My favourite bit is when he grabs onto the kitchen side and stared into space saying "ohhh" as if he's about to keel over. From the cold.

God this is hilarious. The dressing gown of doom! It's heartsinking!

Oh and no medicine here- it doesnt touch it apparently.

Obviously this is a rare tropical version of the cold that paracetamol cannot work its magic on.

The scarf of suffering

Are you sure he hasn’t got him-fluenza?

I found that when Ex had a cold, the shuffling, poorly voice, etc was a very effective contraceptive. Nothing like acting out your manflu to put your partner right off.

He staged a remarkable recovery last night and when I went up to bed he watched a few hours of football. Shuffling and moanig recommended this morning but he has left for work now. Thank fuck.

Haha, the miraculous recovery!

*recommenced

We've had a stomach virus go through 3 out of 4 of us in the last fortnight. First DS1, then me, and now DH (praying that DS2 doesn't get it, it's a nasty one and he's only 2.) I'm trying to be nice, because it is horrible, but I still had to take care of the kids and sort meals and all that other shit when I was ill, while he took to his bed yesterday. Apart from the two hours he spent lying on the bathroom floor, blocking the door so nobody could use the loo. And today he's on the sofa being all poorly, while at the same point I was expected to be back to normal. It's not how he is when he's sick that pisses me off, it's that I can't do the same thing! And he'll be recovered in three days while I'll take much longer because I can't rest like I'm supposed to. He also never keeps up with the housework when I'm sick, just does the bare minimum and leaves the rest for me to catch up on once I'm better. Bastard.

(I love him really, he's normally lovely, he just has a blind spot where illness is concerned because he almost never gets sick, so he doesn't realise how bad it is for the rest of us.)