Ill Husband. FFS it's a cold not the bubonic plague

[Shiklah]

Poorly husband driving me mad. It's a cold, just a cold. He's doing this fucking cough that seems to start whenever anyone else speaks and involves sticking his tongue out. WTF??

sorry, I know its mean, I need to blow of steam

Gamer - he is whimpering. Like a fucker.

And he just dropped a tissue on the floor. Like a bastard.

(I really am so sorry I am such a terrible person, spending a whole day with him has been too much)

To all those who had genuinely sick DH's I am very sorry and I collapsed with pneumonia when I thought I had "a bit of a chest infection' but this is a cold. And he is annoying.

Well I know this will be a buzzkill but I recalll a friend telling me about her husband’s ‘man-flu’ whilst we dropped off at pre-school but it ended up being encephalitis and he’s alive but in a persistent vegetative state.

Said colleague came to work with a Scarf of Suffering, to get his point across, there was also much shuffling and ostentatious coughing

Ok. He has a massive scarf, at least 6 feet long, and he is wrapping it around his neck slowing and carefully as if he is wrapping ribbon on a spool. It looks utterly ridiculous. I am leaving the room. I can't take any more.

I am a terrible person and have peace with that.

Do you not know that men do not actually get the flu??

They get MAN FLU. It's a step up from death. The poor soul 😂😂

at all of op's postings !

Colds are one of those things that you forget how awful they can be until you get really grim one.

FWIW, I’ve had an absolute bastard of a hangover today and have been good for nothing. I’ve probably been an irritating, moaning, lazy tit too and mine was self-inflicted. Thankfully, DH was a bit kinder to me.

I am laughing at the scarf thing though.

Not all colds are the same. Some are just a bit uncomfortable and you can carry on as normal and some make you feel REALLY ILL.
It would only be fair if you were treated with the same contempt the next time you are ill.

I've got a rotten horrible cold too. I have put on my dressing gown and slippers. I am coughing and mouth breathing, and burping like mad because I always burp madly when my nose is blocked. I'm thoroughly miserable. DH is sick of me and wants me to go to bed.

But I've got more work to do tonight. I've spent pretty much the whole weekend working, and I've got a couple more hours to do before tomorrow. So I'm taking lemsip, sucking soothers and rubbing vapor rub on myself so I can just get on with things. DH just has to deal with my strange noises no ill voice yet, but I'm thinking about it. I'm worried he might kill me in my sleep just to stop the vile noises I am emitting

DH had a cold last winter that involved 3 days in bed, much lolloping about in chairs going "oh I feel so ill" all over the house and the dressing gown of doom. The constant sniffing and coughing with tongue out had me reaching for the shovel in the shed and marking patches on the patio. I do not jest.

You have my deepest sympathy OP. May I suggest headphones, and dark glasses so you can't see or hear him.

I am so sorry for those of you that are ill. It is horrible.

Those who have had serious ill DH's please be assured he was fully cured by a lemsip last night, but will only have one a day at bedtime. It is a cold, that's all.

And I am being nice to his face, but need an outlet - big thanks to everyone who sees the funny side and is playing the 'sick men are annoying' game with me.

I am bound to get it next week when I have a new business launching. Fuckity fuck.

DH won't use vapour rub. I think it brings back flashback from his raving days

OK. He's now wearing his wellie socks. With the DGOD and the scarf. He's like Neil in that episode of the Young Ones.

I'm going to watch David Attenborough and zone him out.

Op, is he 'cold'

If so, that's a fever, and he needs to in fact lose the layers in order to regulate his body temperature, his body is trying to cool him down.

Wrapping up will prolong it and make it worse.

Enjoy removing all of those ridiculous layers for him 😏

Refusing to take meds = no sympathy in this house I'm afraid!

Haha my DP had a bit of a cold last week. He didn't feel that bad he reckoned, then he lost his voice.
He fucking hammed it right up, stage whispering, knocking on things or clicking his fucking fingers to get my attention before gesticulating wildly (and incomprehensibly) and then putting on this stupid affectation to emphasise how hoarse he was when he had to explain his outlandish charades. I wanted to throttle him so you get my full sympathy.
I disappeared upstairs quietly and listened to audiobooks and left him to it.

Long time ago, my OH said "my hair feels weird". Much ridicule. Turns out he had a Bells Palsy and was really poorly. I felt so crap.

Haha my DH also does the sticky out tongue when coughing for extra "poorly" effect. He also likes to clutch at his stomach when he coughs, as if something important might fall off due to the stress of it.

Mine starts with ‘I like you’ as the DGOD comes out. ( only ever seen on these occasions). Then loudly rustles in the medicine cabinet looking for lemsip. Finally the hangdog look on his face as he states he needs to sleep in the spare room. (The sick one goes to the spare room in our house).

OK. He's now wearing his wellie socks. With the DGOD and the scarf. He's like Neil in that episode of the Young Ones.

I think we need a pic, OP!

Mine wears my slippers, truffle shuffles around the place using his fucking inhaler when ITS NOT YOUR FUCKING ASTHMA.
Even answers the phone with the sick voice but was ok to watch the footie all afternoon. Managed to be ill at half time and was REALLY ill at full time.
He hasn’t got man flu he’s got the fucking football flu.

He also likes to clutch at his stomach when he coughs, as if something important might fall off due to the stress of it.

All men are fearful that their knobs might drop off. They feel vulnerable at the slightest sniffle, so knobdropoffphobia getsmuch worse.