Why are people so precious about little girl curls?!

[Curlyhaircatastrophy]

Semi light hearted
My daughter has lovely curls. The kind that are commented on wherever we go. Everyone loves the curls.

Every morning there is the battle of the curl. By this I mean her hair is like candy floss when she gets up. Then we have the tussle of detangling spray, a wide tooth comb and inching my way through it all, to the chorus of “mummy stop!”. Yes, I have researched and tried many shampoos/conditioners and sprays. I have tried only washing her hair when absolutely needed.

Her hair is much better and easier when I give it a little trim every now and then. Family and friends are genuinely offended when her hair is cut.
“How could you cut her lovely curls?!”
“Why on earth would you cut those curls!”
“Her hair is too short!”

Now my daughter has never had long hair, it just doesn’t grow. So she sports a curly bob that gets neatened up. When cut, the curls bounce beautifully and our lives are peaceful for a while.

Why are people so affronted by cutting her hair?! What is it about curls?! Why does she need to have long hair?

For full disclosure she is 3 years old and has zero opinion on her hair or length of it

Nottalotta- my trimming technique is a bit..um...haphazard! Basically when she is in the bath, with conditioner on, I comb through the top layer first and just snip off a cm. just go all the way round. Then the underneath layer, do the same. She has natural layers. I get away with it being imprecise because of the curls. I just eyeball it when dry and snip any curls that might be dangling down. I can hear the gasps of qualified hairdressers everywhere, I can only apologise

Enjoy this hair stage because it’s so adorable and it seems for most doesn’t last!!

Sorry, I just can’t

Woman with curl hair here, whose family had no idea how to care for it when younger so was blow dried and brushed into a frizzy mess everyday.... dampen her hair every morning brushes easier and then the curls will dry back. Brushing my hair is just a no go and it does get knotty so easy. Wetting the knots out will be so much easier on her, you’re absolutely right with not using shampoo unless essential too.

Seriously hoping my brand new daughter will inherit my curls and not hate them as much as I did as a child.

Dunno because nobody ever complimented my curls but they do my son's
He is a lot cuter though

@FekkoThePenguin
Do you live in an area famous for a particular playwright?

We do- with our v curly haired daughter who is always targeted by the Japanese, who'll try and nab her for photos! 'Kawaii, Kawaii!'

@FekkoThePenguin it's really interesting you say that because I had a really awkward situation with an Asian man whilst out shopping with my 22 month old DS. He has short hair but lots of gorgeous tight curls and the man insisted on touching his hair. DS looked terrified, I asked the man not to and he still persisted trying to touch his head. DS was in full blown tantrum mode at this point and I had to shout in the end to tell the man to get away from my DS, he wouldn't take no for an answer. It was so bizarre.

I love my little boys curls but don't love the weird head patting attention and comments on me keeping it cut short. He really hates the head patting!

Because they're chuffing beautiful 😍 same as little boy curls.

Took us a while to sort out routine- I wet, spray leave in conditioner and brush through with a "wet" brush. It has flexible prong bits which bend rather than snag tangles, you just have to go over it a few times. You can get them with cuddly toy covers too which helps!

My DS is grown up now

When he was a child he had very short hair (it wasn't curly then strangely)

When he went away to university he grew his hair long (beyond shoulder length) he had the most amazing curls appear

He had so many comments about his hair (one notable one was from a man behind us in the queue in tesco who was telling him how much his hair had reminded him of his own hair when he was younger, he was now bald)

Now, due to his job, his hair is much shorter but still has the curls in his fringe

He used to wet/wash his hair to get a brush/comb thru it, luckily it was his decision to grow it and so his job to brush it

I have no idea what I would do if he didn't have his hair really short and had such curly hair as a small child and I was responsible for brushing/controlling it

I have no idea why his hair became curly, or if it was the cutting it short that made it curly but it definitely wasn't curly as a small child

I was that little girl. I now spend my adult life (and a lot of time and money!) blitzing the curls so my hair will stay straight. Everyone STILL says ‘but your natural hair is so lovely! I love your curls!’ Yeah, but you don’t have to live with them do you?

Not really the point but to those who say curls often disappear...mine did the opposite. I had soft curls as a small child. Similar to photos here. In my teens it went mad. Super tight curls (as curly as you ever see on a white person) and still have them now.

Hated them then. Love them now. It's taken a long time to learn how to manage them though.

And people still like to pull my curls now and watch them ping back. One aunt still does this every time she sees me. I am in my late 40s. You would think she would be over it by now!

Interesting comment earlier 're tourists. I had a whole lot of v well dressed Asian tourists, I thought Japanese but couldn't swear to it, once all spend ages attempting to take pictures of her at famous country spot near us. It was a bit disconcerting.

We used to get snapped by tourists when taking DS to school in his uinform. It wasn't anything spectacular - especially in little school when it was just joggers and sweatshirt. The teachers used to go mad on trips with people trying to photograph the kids.

I feel your pain. My daughter has the most beautiful, long corkscrew curls that are the bane of my life - the hours of detangling!!! I regularly mutter about chopping it all off. She mostly has it in plaits or a bun to save my sanity. Can't wait until she can look after it herself - I will probably throw a celebration party!

Yup, I do despise parents who won't cut their DC's time-consuming or pain-inducing hair even when DC ask for it to be cut. It's their hair, not yours. They are not obliged to look cute or pretty or 'interesting' to other people.
When they are little, too little to be remotely bothered about what they look like, it's much kinder to cut their hair short rather than subject them to a daily session of discomfort/brushing/combing/tying up tightly.

I've heard that using a silicon-free condition ONLY and stopping shampoo altogether is the way to go for curly hair that tends to be tangly. Conditioner and warm water alone will lift dirt and dead skin cells from the hair and scalp--shampoo is not needed and tends to strip and dry out curly hair.

@Ollivander84 what are you using on yours at the moment? I have similar hair but can only get that amount of separation to my curls with a lot of mousse and a diffuser (and then it only lasts five minutes in the Toronto winter ).

As a mum to a 8 year old DD with fine, curly hair I know the nightmare of dealing with tangly curls in the morning. When they are defined curls look beautiful. My DD has shoulder length hair but wants long hair like her friends (who all have straight hair) and whilst long hair is lovely I've tried explaining longer hair will mean more curl care. It's been a challenge as I have straight hair and didn't know much about curly hair care.

Curly hair naturally is much drier than straight hair and does need a completely different way of looking after to straight hair .

I'm about to start the "curly girl" method of looking after her lovely curls next week ,secretly hoping it will be be a much easier method that she can use as she gets older but her hair was definitely easier to manage when she was younger and her hair was shorter in a jaw length bob.

I too face the battle of the curls with my tweenager who longs for straight hair and gets really annoyed at people commenting on her curls. I only use the tangle teaser when it's wet. On a morning I spray it and use a wide tooth comb on it. I use body shop banana hair stuff because it's silicone free.

My dad always had very curly hair and is absolutely adamant it's because he ate his crusts. I was made to eat mine and my hair is poker straight so I don't believe him!

YourDaughter omg, absolutely beautiful little girl 😍 Like goldie locks

I have mixed race white/Afro hair, so tight curls:

• I cut it short because it's more manageable and looks more even, much to my aunts displeasure (she had boys and didn't have to deal with it), my mum seems to get it
• I have (silicone free) conditioner on subscription for a bottle a month and (low sulphate) shampoo every 6 months and even then I defer its sometimes
• I never ever brush it and never comb it dry. Combing is only when loaded with conditioner and soaking wet and then a little to style when there's products in it.
• combing has to be from the bottom up either with fingers or a wide tooth comb gently while holding my hair with the other had so it doesn't pull
• coconut oil stops it from getting fuzzy mostly, tiny amount needed for my shoulder length (scrape a short finger nail across the jar)
• people love to touch and spring my hair (complete stranger in a dark auditorium, stranger running to catch up with me and touch my hair in college...), still have to tell friends and family to cut it out, even DP when I can feel him tangling it up (making him untangle it doesn't seem to deter him but I suppose is good practice for when bump arrives with most likely curly hair)

@Sashkin - I wash with conditioner then condition. Add a tiny bit of leave in conditioner, loads of eco olive oil gel on soaking wet hair and then Pantene mousse before I diffuse

My daughter has Afro hair from her Dad and volume from me. It makes for a beautiful combination but is a nightmare to comb.
She tends to have it braided most of the time now.
We lived in India and she would get so many strangers taking pictures and touching it. For some of them they had probably never seen hair like it before. If people touched it, I would normally touch their child's hair it was amazing how many of them got upset by that.

@Rixera it just feels like a decision made by the parents rather than the kid. I know I’m being unreasonable btw, it’s a very personal feeling - the only children I seem to see with very long hair are either aggressively pinkified and princessed girls or hipster little boys wearing band t-shirts and the like.

There’s probably a bit of jealousy in there too because this was my hair as a child!

Not sure why wouldn't just stop telling people you've cut her hair?

Or if you don't, do they really notice a 1cm trim?