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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not bother seeing my parents this Christmas?

51 replies

bahhumbug33 · 10/11/2018 22:36

My parents live around 50 miles away, but the roads aren't too good which means it takes about an hour and half each way to drive.

For various reasons, I try and keep visits to a minimum. Firstly, it's always me who has to make the effort and drive (they never come to me). Second, when I do go it's always horrible and I want to go home.

My parents have three cats, and while I love them, they make a lot of mess which leaves a really unpleasant smell in the house. Because one of them isn't too well these days, there are about three litter trays, including one right by the dining table! Added to this, they can't be bothered to clean the house properly, which means there are dirty plates, rubbish, and just mess everywhere. The bathroom also has mould, and is not cleaned regularly, so don't even like doing a wee while I'm there.

My father also refuses to put the heating on except for an hour in the evening, which means it's bloody cold.

As a result, I really don't want to spend time going to visit this Christmas, but maybe that makes me an awful person? There's no way they would come to me, my dad is just too lazy to drive the distance.

OP posts:
Curlyhaircatastrophy · 11/11/2018 16:58

Oh and “wiping a surface” is impossible in my parents house. All, and I mean all, surfaces are cluttered with stuff. To clean one surface properly, to the extent where it would be hygienic, would not take a few seconds. Nor would clearing the pile of washing up, the mould on the tiles in the bathroom. This is serious stuff and clearly some of you have no experience. Lucky lucky you. I suffered for years of feeling too ashamed to bring friends home because my dad wouldn’t let me tidy up. I was not allowed to touch his things. So honestly, you might only get one set of parents but sometimes your health and well-being comes first.

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