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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how poor I am??

320 replies

Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 21:18

I know there will be varied responses from really well off, or ridiculously poor. I sort of class myself as low paid but not in poverty but would like opinions.

I have around 1000pcm after paying rent. 2 children. Out of this 1000 by the time I pay bills (council tax, car insurance, broadband, tv, car tax, parking permit, gas and electric) I probably have around 600 left.

That 600 is then for food, after school clubs, day to day stuff, clothes, shoes, and anything else that might come up such as school trips. Also obviously the odd luxury, cinema trips, days out, treats for the kids, birthdays, Xmas, maybe a holiday.

Do I sound really poor? I get by, pay the bills ect. But I really struggle with clothes and stuff, obviously prioritise kids, struggle to get all their bits and then end up never getting anything for myself. Going for a meal or a day out always has to be planned and saved for and obviously I have no savings.

I guess a lot of people are in the same boat.

OP posts:
Applepudding2018 · 10/11/2018 22:23

@TulipsInBloom1 you haven't read what the OP has said. She is spending £75-£100 of the £600 she has left after bills on her children's activities, not the whole £600 - and that £600 (£150 pw) does include food.

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 10/11/2018 22:24

I think it's a tight budget too, OP.

Any way of increasing your income? I try to find one thing a week to sell on ebay and that drips a tiny bit in each week.

Weezol · 10/11/2018 22:24

You just aren't managing your money all that well - a few fairly small changes could really make a difference. Maybe have a look at some budgeting advice from the brilliant Martin Lewis.

Once you break a tenner it's really easy for the change to just disappear, seemingly without trace, on random stuff.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning/

grtduff10 · 10/11/2018 22:26

No poor is paying your rent, council tax, electricity etc etc and then not being able to pay for knee clothes for your child, not being able to take them to classes because you can't afford them. Poor is borrowing of your mum and dad every month so you can feed your childrenZ poor is having the feeling f wanting to kill yourself because you can't go on, but you can't because you have children. Poor is wearing the same leggings every day for work and for after work. The same leggings every single day, poor is having no little goodies for your self.

Poor is watching your husband listen to his mates about all the great things they have, any feeling guilty because there is no way in the world you can afford to buy him anything good.

Poor is dreading Xmas every year because your wondering how you can afford to pay the bills, buy the presents, never minds an Xmas dinner and decorating.

Poor is poor op, you sound like your actually very well off. If love £600 disposable incomes but I don't have anything literally. Nothing

Original poster
Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 22:28

I agree about breaking a tenner and then frittering it away. I can definitely make cut backs. Coffee is my downfall but I feel like I should at least be able to have one thing I enjoy.

I want to decorate because it’s my home, yes I’m renting, but I’ll probably be here forever, I decorated it ten years ago and obviously the carpets are now gross. Can’t see me ever being able to afford those, and the wardrobes for the kids bedroom. It’s probably a good thing I can’t get credit...

OP posts:
Mummyshark2018 · 10/11/2018 22:29

I would say you're just about managing but if there was a massive expense - washing machine breaking, car bills etc you would struggle or get into debt. Can you progress in your job/career? Do you see things getting better in the near future. I wouldn't want to have to live on what you are managing. According to that calculator our Household has more income than 84% of the country which is astonishing as although we have 2 cars- 1 is 10 years old and the other at least 15! We don't live an extravagant life! Well done for doing what you're doing!

formerbabe · 10/11/2018 22:29

If love £600 disposable income

It's not disposable income if you need to buy food with it.

Poor is borrowing of your mum and dad every month

You are lucky you have parents able to help you.

wrenika · 10/11/2018 22:29

I think you could maybe trim a little savings here or there if you write everything down and have some sort of budget laid out. I have about the same leftover money as you do after rent,etc is paid, and I have a strict budget spreadsheet so that I can put some savings aside for a rainy day and know what I have left to spend. I also try to put a little aside for the big annual costs like MOT, car insurance, etc.

I don't have kids and I find it tight if I want to save anything towards a future house deposit, so I can completely see how it's tight when you have kids and their associated costs. You're not 'poor', and you know that, but you're certainly not failing by finding that money tight.

NameChanger365 · 10/11/2018 22:30

@blackchina what assumptions are you using to find the OP in the bottom 10%, because I'm not finding anything like that. (Which highlights a flaw with the calculator itself, because rents vary massively across the country, so two people on the same pay, one in London and one in Sunderland - apparently one of the cheapest places to rent in the country - would have very different standards of living.)

Original poster
Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 22:32

I’m honestly gobsmacked that I’m being described as well off 😳 Okay definitely not poor we’ve established. But well off? How?

OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 10/11/2018 22:34

Oh for goodness sake. OP isn't poor but she's hardly well off.

Original poster
Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 22:37

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I feel a bit better now. I know I’m not well off, even remotely. Nor will I ever be. But my kids are happy and they might not have many things, but they also have more than many. Sometimes I forget kids are not as interested in materialistic things as we think. Except my teenager... that’s a different matter!

OP posts:
bahhumbug33 · 10/11/2018 22:38

@Imustbemad00 because some people are on minmum wage and have to pay rent, bills, food, and everything else. Some people have to go in their overdraft every month just to buy the basics.

Original poster
Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 22:39

I hope to earn a bit more in the future, I’ll do what I can to better myself. But all that will do is wean me off of benefits. So the more I earn the less benefits I will need. Which is great, but I won’t necessarily notice the difference in my bank balance.

OP posts:
SherlockHolmes · 10/11/2018 22:40

I would say if you can pay all the bills then you're not poor. But if you can't afford to save, then you're not well-off either.

PersonaNonGarter · 10/11/2018 22:41

Don’t buy the coffees! There are lovely home things for under £10 - even cutting back a bit on the coffees will give you more decorating power.

I think you are not poor but you are quite skint. That’s the difference between haveing no choices and some choices. You sound like you do have spending decisions and are able to find enough to e.g have a birthday party.

bahhumbug33 · 10/11/2018 22:41

@Imustbemad00 don't be a fool and waste money decorating a rented house! You don't own it, your landlord could give you notice at any time, and then profit from the done up, nicely decorated house! And you will have no rights if they do this, none whatsoever. Please, there are so many stories about this kind of thing. If it's so bad, just find another place to rent. It's a better option than wasting money redocorating a place that isn't yours.

Applepudding2018 · 10/11/2018 22:41

@Imustbemad00 I think you are doing well to provide what you are for your DC in what you earn. As pp have said, £100 is a lot to spend on DC activities when you haven't got much money, but it's nice that you are prioritising your DC. Maybe see if there is a way they can do their activities for a little less.

What I find with Mumsnet is that money-wise there tend to be a lot of posters who are really struggling, and a lot with incomes over £50k - but not that many in between (or at least if there are they don't post about it!)

formerbabe · 10/11/2018 22:41

You're not well off op.

My similar budget would work out like this...

Food shop...£50
Top up shop ..£20
Bus fares/petrol...£15
Kids trip to sweet shop twice a week...£5
Extra curricular activities for dc....£8
Charity day at school...£2

= £100

You now have £50 left...maybe your DC want to go to soft play at the weekend...our local one is £25 for 2 DC and 1 adult. Maybe they want to go swimming..£12 here. Maybe your DC needs new football boots...£30. Maybe it's cold and your DC need new gloves. Maybe they want a McDonald's. Maybe your kettle/hair dryer/toaster has broken?

You have very little left over to play with.

Original poster
Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 22:42

@bahhumbug33 I’m also on minimum wage and the bank won’t let me have an overdraft. It’s not a competition. You’re struggle doesn’t make my struggle less valid or real.

OP posts:
Mamabear4180 · 10/11/2018 22:42

£600 a month for everything except rent sounds really difficult to me! Blush

Food is so expensive these days, I spend £100 a week on that alone, then there's bills. If I had your income I wouldn't be able to afford the cinema or activities and would have to cut back on bills and food. I do have one more child than you though and 2 of mine are in nappies.

Original poster
Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 22:42

Your not you’re

OP posts:
Original poster
Imustbemad00 · 10/11/2018 22:43

@bahhumbug33 I have a secure tenancy. Council.

OP posts:
bahhumbug33 · 10/11/2018 22:43

@Imustbemad00 How can you be on minimum wage and earn £2k a month? Serious question unless I've missed something?

I'm on much more than minimum wage and I don't get anywhere near £2k a month....