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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a baby doesn't need tons of Christmas presents?

43 replies

Hocusypocus · 09/11/2018 23:28

DS will be 11 months at Christmas. We've bought him four presents that we know he'll use and enjoy, I feel that's perfectly enough for a baby.

He has a musical walker with a detachable activity/learning panel, an electronic activity table, a toddlers drum set (I know!) and a build-a-bear.

(we have a small place, are pregnant with DC2 and not a great deal of storage)

DF who dotes on DS keeps sending me links to presents he's buying DS and says he isn't finished yet as he wants to spoil him for Christmas. It's really lovely but we don't have the space (nor DS the need) for a ton of presents

AIBU to think a baby just doesn't need so much stuff for Christmas?

OP posts:
thereallochnessmonster · 09/11/2018 23:29

A baby needs nothing for Xmas. They have no concept of the day. Yanbu.

Screaminginsidemeagain · 09/11/2018 23:33

Yanbu but your DF is obviously very excited for babies first Christmas.
May I suggest you try:
It’s so lovely you want to spoil baby but we don’t have much room, can we leave a few bits with you for when we visit and maybe you can put the money towards xxxx which will be a great thing for when DS is bigger?

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 09/11/2018 23:34

I said similar to DF who thinks I'm being a scrooge. DS will be more astounded by the wrapping paper than anything else

OP posts:
Original poster
Hocusypocus · 09/11/2018 23:35

@Screaminginsidemeagain that's a really good idea.

I've got a mum on social media who has posted no less than 15-20 presents she's bought for her twelve month old. As lovely as it is I can't help but think it's a waste of money

OP posts:
PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 09/11/2018 23:37

Totally agree.

We’re in a similar position (13 month old dd, small place, pregnant) and I’m being very strict with myself and DH about limiting the crap that comes in to the house “from Santa”.

We’re doing Something she wants, Something she needs, Something to wear and Something to read and sticking to it!

Elbbob · 09/11/2018 23:41

My DD will also be 11 months at Christmas and I really don't think she needs any presents! Ok maybe one small one.Smile
She doesn't know what Christmas is and like you say the wrapping paper will be enough. However I am dreading how much DP and grandparents are going to give her as like you we don't have the space. It's so lovely that people want to give presents though and I don't want to say no...
And then it'll be DD's and your DS's birthday a month later!

jjemimapuddleduck · 09/11/2018 23:43

Dear Father or Dear Fiance?

MoaningSickness · 09/11/2018 23:43

My similarly aged little one got a ton of stuff last year (many relatives). I followed a friends advice and put most of it away in a cupboard - only to be pulled out one at a time when the toddler was having a bad day/raining/bored etc. It was really good advice. In six months from now your baby will be much harder to entertain and having 'new stuff' for them to interact with occasionally is really good. (I appreciate not everyone had the space to do this).

Didsomeonesaybunny · 09/11/2018 23:46

YANBU they have no concept of Christmas. It’s very sweet of your DF but could you perhaps tell him you are struggling for space and perhaps he could contribute in other ways, eg buy the baby essentials, clothing etc?

My DD will be 3 months at Christmas and I’ve got her a jumperoo for when she’s a little older, a few newborn toys and some clothing. I’ll also put money in her savings account.

DrWhy · 09/11/2018 23:51

We asked for things we thought DS would want or grow into over the next year and put them away in a toy chest after he’d opened them (and immediately forgotten about them) until the timing was appropriate. This works well for smaller things like puzzles, books etc. Than huge bulky toys.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/11/2018 23:51

Yup. They don't need vast amounts when they're two either - so long as they get a huge cardboard box.Grin

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 10/11/2018 00:01

DF as in my father, DS is his first grandchild and he dotes on him which I adore but he's known to go a bit overboard when it comes to sending presents 'just because' and we already have a load of toys that DS doesn't bother with so I'm dreading the amount we end up with at Christmas.

Am going to donate his older unused things to the charity shop to clear some space on Monday. DS has little interest in anything of his own and at the moment his favourite things are our wooden tea coasters Grin

OP posts:
Terribletwos84 · 10/11/2018 08:16

We had the same issue, ds grandma went absolutely mad for his first christmas and he was so overwhelmed he gave up opening presents (his cousin finished for him). We stored lots away as some were a little old for him and brought them out through the year. He has a January birthday so try to make sure toys get spread as much as possible. He's coming up to three now and i think the balance is right now, everyone is a lot more sensible in what is bought and he enjoys unwrapping now.

Bangwhistlepop2 · 10/11/2018 08:25

Suggest to your dad that he fills a large, decorated box with helium balloons. That's what my children loved instead of the expensive gifts.

homeishere · 10/11/2018 08:30

My child was obsessed with those wooden coasters too. Strange.

We have similar issues with my in laws, only it’s every event (Easter, Halloween, fireworks, Christmas etc etc).

My three year old will be wondering no doubt where my one year old’s stocking presents are. Going with the ‘Father Christmas gives your stocking when it’s your first Christmas, then fills it next year’. My almost one year old has no need for anything (aside from a comical Christmas outfit so I can embarrass her in front of her first boyfriend).

homeishere · 10/11/2018 08:32

A word of warning about giving the older toys away...your DF might see this as a reason to re-buy everything for your next one. Whereas if you stick it under the bed/in a box you can reasonably say ‘we already have it’ etc

cushioncuddle · 10/11/2018 08:43

What they do need is toys that suit their development needs over the next year. Sometimes especially your child will only receive presents with a large gap in between as birthday falls so close to Christmas.
Between 1 and 2 yrs they would benefit from cause and effect toys. Early form board puzzles. Blocks. Etc.
You'd be better off buying or getting the grandparents to buy some toys that will suit your child's development over the next year and these can be brought out as they develop.

homeishere · 10/11/2018 08:48

That’s a good point. One of mine is December and the other January. So we ask for toys they’ll need in 6 months time and put them away until then

BusyMum47 · 10/11/2018 10:10

We were in exactly the same position! If I remember correctly, our son was about 3yrs old before we stopped putting presents away to be brought out throughout the year. All the stuff at Xmas used to totally overwhelm him!!

BusyMum47 · 10/11/2018 10:14

I used to deliberately ask for the next size/season of clothes too - very useful!!

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 10/11/2018 10:17

I like the idea of putting some away to bring out for his birthday and over the next year.

Could also ask DM to keep some of his old stuff at hers, shes got a bigger place.

I do like the 4-in-1 grow with me trike that DF has ordered as it'll last for years and new baby can grow into it as well, it's just the copious boxes of learning toys and fun for five minutes stuff I'm not too keen on hoarding.

DS turns one in January so I'm going to ask relatives to buy clothes and not toys I think

OP posts:
GreenMeerkat · 10/11/2018 10:20

DS will be two months old at Christmas. I have two DDs (3 and 5) so will get him a few things so they don't think that Santa has left him out.

We went crazy at DD1s first Christmas (who was also 2 months old) and it was completely pointless, she had no clue what was going on and we spent a fortune on completely useless rubbish.

CrazyOldBagLady · 10/11/2018 10:30

My baby will be one at Christmas and I have bought him quite a few things so far, some new, some second hand. He has progressed from toys that are just there to grab/chew to being able to play with things a bit better, so he is in need of some toys that will keep his attention.

I could have bought him stuff sooner but I have been holding out for Christmas so I can ask family members for things he will like. Nothing too huge just age appropriate things like some new books, a shape sorter, stacking cups, that sort of thing.

I admit that he will likely be more interested in colourful wrapping paper and tinsel at Christmas, but his toys can be stored out of the way and I can rotate them over the next year and hopefully not have to buy too much until next Christmas/birthday.

Rarotonga · 10/11/2018 10:34

Could you make gentle hints about appreciating experience presents rather than physical presents? For example, a course of tumble tots, music or swimming classes. Thats what we did last year and it worked well.

CrazyOldBagLady · 10/11/2018 10:34

PS my boy also loves coasters too!