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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a baby doesn't need tons of Christmas presents?

43 replies

Hocusypocus · 09/11/2018 23:28

DS will be 11 months at Christmas. We've bought him four presents that we know he'll use and enjoy, I feel that's perfectly enough for a baby.

He has a musical walker with a detachable activity/learning panel, an electronic activity table, a toddlers drum set (I know!) and a build-a-bear.

(we have a small place, are pregnant with DC2 and not a great deal of storage)

DF who dotes on DS keeps sending me links to presents he's buying DS and says he isn't finished yet as he wants to spoil him for Christmas. It's really lovely but we don't have the space (nor DS the need) for a ton of presents

AIBU to think a baby just doesn't need so much stuff for Christmas?

OP posts:
InfantaSybilla · 10/11/2018 10:36

We're considered grinches in our family too. My dd is 3 and has 8 presents to open from us this xmas which I think is plenty but my family think it's mean, then I'm even meaner as some are second hand. My DM has a budget she wants to spend but our suggested toys isn't the full budget and she's insisting on buying dd more stuff, I genuinely don't know what to suggest to her to buy - dd doesn't need anything and hasn't asked for anything other than what we've bought her. I find it really irritating. I'm also pregnant and due at Xmas and she's insisting on buying presents for the baby despite the fact it may not have been born. It's a nice sentiment but, again, we don't need anything for the baby as we have dd's old stuff.

The last few years I've packed a lot of the Xmas toys away and got them out throughout the year. I'm still quite big on toy rotation. My dd also loves coasters Grin

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/11/2018 10:37

Why would you give away unused toys when you have another baby on the way? Confused

Perhaps you could suggest membership for a local zoo/farm/play centre or something? This would be genuinely useful if you can identify somewhere to take him. Only thing is that he might well be free so it’s the membership for you that you actually need.

toomuchtooold · 10/11/2018 10:49

Your DF needs to keep his powder dry on this one. Once the kids are 4/5/6 and upwards you can spend tons and get some amazing toys that they will really play with but below that their favourite thing to play with is usually whatever random stuff you have in the cupboards and shelves they can reach.

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 10/11/2018 11:43

The rational behind giving away a portion of DS old toys is because he has a lot of them, most of which he isn't interested in and never really bothered with despite having a lot to play with. We've segregated a small box of things that we're keeping for the new baby, and we've kept DS tummy time play mat, bouncer and moses basket. The necessary things.

I myself went a bit overboard with buying random toys when we had DS but came to realise babies just don't need so much of the same types of things.

Asking for physical presents like memberships and days out is a great idea

OP posts:
MicroManaged · 10/11/2018 11:47

Yanbu.

Ds3 will be 19 months at Christmas and the only reason he’s having ‘as much’ (which is still less than some buy for babies) is because otherwise ds1 and 2 would pick up on it.

With your first, a couple of presents and a small stocking of tat and milky buttons is plenty.

Cachailleacha · 10/11/2018 11:55

What they do need is toys that suit their development needs over the next year.
This is what I would do, though it doesn't all need to be new. Whatever they will benefit from before the next birthday or Christmas. I bought a second hand push along walker from eBay for my child's first Christmas (7 months).

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 10/11/2018 12:48

I buy second hand too from time to time, some of DS favourite toys that he actually enjoyed were from the charity shops.

Love a bargain!

OP posts:
MartaHallard · 10/11/2018 12:56

My DM has a budget she wants to spend but our suggested toys isn't the full budget and she's insisting on buying dd more stuff, I genuinely don't know what to suggest to her to buy

Could you suggest she puts the extra money in a savings account for dd? Then relatives who want to give something can add to it at Christmas and birthdays. That really will be of lasting use to dd.

MRex · 10/11/2018 12:58

Oooooh 4-in-1 grow with me trike - which one did you choose, we've been looking at them?

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 10/11/2018 13:42

@MREX this is the one DS has coming

www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Tikes-Deluxe-Trike-Neon/dp/B00EPE5TFS/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?ref=plSrch&keywords=baby+trikes+with+parent+handle&dpPl=1&dpID=51gvhFv3h-L&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1541857222&sr=8-5

He'll get plenty of use out of it and am sure new baby will too, eventually.

Not too expensive really for what it is Smile

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratcett · 10/11/2018 13:59

My DF puts the excess love money in an account for DD's education. At this rate, she'll have to be an architect or lawyer.

Original poster
Hocusypocus · 10/11/2018 14:04

@MrsTerryPratcett that's a great idea. I haven't started any savings for DS yet but am planning to.

OP posts:
InfantaSybilla · 10/11/2018 14:20

@MartaHallard I've tried that. She doesn't think gift vouchers/experience presents are exciting for a 3 year old to open. Ultimately she wants to watch dd and the other grandchildren be in a frenzy opening piles of presents like what I had as a child. I'm trying to persuade her to give Dd coins as she would have a lot of pleasure putting the money in her money box but dm isn't keen on that either.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 10/11/2018 14:40

Ultimately she wants to watch dd and the other grandchildren be in a frenzy opening piles of presents like what I had as a child. I'm trying to persuade her to give Dd coins as she would have a lot of pleasure putting the money in her money box but dm isn't keen on that either.

Call me a miserable grumpy arse Infanta but this seems to be all about what your mum wants. She's indulging herself and pushing her view of what Christmas looks like on you and dd, so is Ops dad. I know loads of people say "Oh just be glad they have generous GPs" and so on but actually in some cases they're riding roughshod over the parents choices. Some of these GPs need to be told enough is enough, they've had their turn raising their own dc and need to stop overstepping.

Ninoo25 · 10/11/2018 14:44

I agree with the poster who said asking for things like tumbletots memberships. You could also ask for money for their savings account and explain that you don’t really need anything for them as they’re so little x

InfantaSybilla · 10/11/2018 14:56

@CantSleepClownsWillEatMe I agree. I've explained to her before that I didn't really enjoy opening piles and piles of presents (things like toothbrushes etc would be wrapped up for the sake of it) but she doesn't believe me. We have large family and dd had two full days of opening presents last year and she was very overwhelmed (as was I trying to figure out where I was going to put everything). My siblings though also enjoy the frenzy and replicate that with their dcs so my dd is very much viewed as the poor relation even though she is absolutely no way deprived.

Bluelady · 10/11/2018 15:03

What a miserable bloody post, Can'tsleep. Overstepping indeed.

MRex · 10/11/2018 15:05

Thanks @Hocusypocus, that's one of the ones we're looking at too.

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