to want to cry re how much my baby is feeding?

[CarmelitasMango]

Baby is over 2 weeks old. Midwife has told me he should be ideally feeding 8 times a day. He's not. He feeds every hour ish. Sometimes feeds twice in an hour. At least 20 times a day for short bursts. Falls asleep on my boob.

I've been in hospital and not feeling well, he's EBF and I want it to stay that way, I'm trying so hard but my nipples are killing me and I'm so tired. Is it always this hard? Does it get easier?

I feel like nobody tells you how hard breastfeeding is :(

Honestly I think some babies come out pretty unsure of the world and the only comfort they can find is feeding and just do that anytime they are awake. My little boy certainly wasn't every 3-4 hours and I worried so much that something was wrong and so many people said "are you sure he's getting enough milk?". But I knew he was gaining well and had nappies so I was quietly sure that it was his personality. I think the midwife was unhelpful with the suggestion of 8 feeds in 24 hours, I remember when I was going back to work at 10 months counting one day and I was at 8 feeds in 24 hours!

I know how difficult it is but try to accept it as a new normal for just now. Slather on whatever you've got after every feed (I preferred coconut oil to the lanisoh but I know a lot of people love the lansinoh). If the midwife is certain latch is good it could be previous trauma from one bad feed that's healing but the constant feeding is just causing the healing to take a bit longer. For me the worst pain was between 1 and 2 weeks and then it just disappeared. Do not feel any guilt to watch ALOT of television just now, settle yourself on the sofa with some ace snacks and a big flask of juice and let him feed whenever. As soon as baby is sleeping grab a sleep yourself, split up your long sleep in to mini naps. Try to get comfortable feeding in public as that will really help when you've got a frequent feeder. If you need a dummy to be able to cope that's ok, my son ALWAYS preferred a feed to a dummy and made that very clear! We fed until 17 months.

Also there are benefits of a frequent feeder. They get so much comfort from nursing that literally anything will be sorted with a feed (boredom, wind, a bump on the head when learning to walk). My little boy is now almost 2 and still a very affectionate mamas boy, we dont feed anymore but probably as consistently as he fed as a newborn he says "nice cuddle please mummy?"...it does get easier and so much more worth it!

I also think the MW meant at least 8 feeds in 24 hours.

There’s no set maximum feeds.... my DD used to cluster feed for hours....and on more than one occasion start d at 5pm and didn’t unlatch until 5am!!! (Yes seriously!!!) she had 70% TT and severe silent reflux though.

My DS fed every 30 min-1 at first and by 11 weeks was still feeding twice an hour when awake then naps for an hour in the day, wake up and continue. He can do much longer stretches 2-4 hours at night though so all good by me! I’d rather fill him up in the day and because of silent reflux (again!) little and often is better anyway for not making them sick.

Like a pp said it’s also a massive comfort to them (google the fourth trimester) so frequent feeding helps them cope and adjust with being born.

Also the website kellymom is a good evidence based website that is very reassuring
kellymom.com/hot-topics/frequent-nursing/

30m-1 hour that should be

I should add that in the early days DS would feed for a good 40 mins at a time but now it’s only 10

First DC did this. Fine at night but wanted milk every hour in the day. My nipples were raw and I was miserable. Then dc2 hardly fed, lost a dangerous amount of weight ended up on formula because I couldn't get any help for him.

It's absolutely shit at the time but your baby is thriving and it won't last forever. You're doing a brilliant job.

You’re doing brilliantly. Mine fed every 1.5hrs first the first couple of weeks. You’re both establishing supply and bonding, it’s tough but normal.

After 6 weeks it got easier (less frequent, especially through the night, getting a couple of chunks of sleep made a huge difference to me). She still fed for 45 minutes at a time though, went to a breastfeeding cafe and the lactation consultant said she was probably only feeding for perhaps half that time and the rest was comfort suckling. I gradually reduced the time I let her suckle and introduced a dummy at around 8 weeks. I didn’t want her to have a dummy but it helped us both. She was just a very sucky baby!

Stick with it lovely, it is worth it. The pain goes and is worth riding out, but I know it’s excruciating. I used to count to 10 and cry (more like 20 sometimes) but now I don’t even feel her. Mind you she’s 15 weeks and still feeding 2 hourly because she’s not growing well so I’m exhausted and the frequency has not dropped, but normally it does settle.

I had a low birthweight 2nd baby.... and the HV told me to focus on nothing other than feeding for the first month. It was so hard and frustrating, I felt tied to the sofa and couldn't do anything else..... but you do come out of the other side. Formula feeding wouldn't be any different, in fact you'd be tied to cleaning and sterilising dozens of tiny bottles and making feed up. Baby will grow and this will all be a distant memory soon. Just give in gracefully and enjoy this special time

I’m right there with you at the moment op.

Thank you everyone. It's such hard work but so rewarding at the same time.

Poor DP picks up our son and as soon as he's sat down he wants to feed again!!

I lasted 3 days breast feeding. I couldn’t stand it! Don’t worry about it if you want to swap to bottles. It may seem massive now, it in 2 years it will be a distant memory.

Midwives telling you that certain things will happen X times a day (feeds, naps, nappies etc) can confuse matters. My little one fed what felt like constantly at that age (several marathon cluster feeds lasting 12 hours too) so I feel your pain. I vividly recall sobbing and comparing my nipples to those freeze dried raspberries you get in Special K. To be honest, things improved around 6w when he began interacting a bit more and it felt like a two-way relationship.

It is temporary though, and we are still feeding at 18m, so it didn't scar me too much. I would suggest Lansinoh (amazing stuff, I still use it as lipbalm!) maybe try nipple shields (I didn't like them but many do) lots of water and chocolate. And definitely a sling. Congratulations on your baby xxx

Ds2 wanted to constantly feed. Transpired he was suckling for comfort and so only getting the foremilk and not the satisfying hindmilk.

Midwife weighed him at 7 days and he'd put on 1lb...not lost any as he was constantly on the boob.

She suggested a dummy to satisfy his comfort suckling and to try and give my poor nipples a rest!.

It really help him ... and me.... and l breast fed till he was 7 months. Think I'd have stopped otherwise as it was just unattainable for me.

You enjoy and relax in your nest OP feeding and eating and resting.

Thinking of you and hoping you are getting on well.

hi how are you doing? i just picked up this thread but wanted to join the chorus to reassure you it's normal. I have 3 and they all fed like this until about 6 weeks. Then they started to calm down and tended to go 2 hours between feeds from about 7/8 weeks they gradually got that gap up to 3 hrs but never more than that in the day until they were on solids. Night times do get better quicker than that though for most babies. You're doing great.

I have no idea why midwives don't tell you but you are right, they don't.