to want to cry re how much my baby is feeding?

[CarmelitasMango]

Baby is over 2 weeks old. Midwife has told me he should be ideally feeding 8 times a day. He's not. He feeds every hour ish. Sometimes feeds twice in an hour. At least 20 times a day for short bursts. Falls asleep on my boob.

I've been in hospital and not feeling well, he's EBF and I want it to stay that way, I'm trying so hard but my nipples are killing me and I'm so tired. Is it always this hard? Does it get easier?

I feel like nobody tells you how hard breastfeeding is :(

My daughter was 2nd centile and 6lb 2
It was def hard going for first 8 weeks and I wondered how I'd get through it. Ended up feeding for 2 years in the end EBF for 6 months all totally worth it in the end.
You feel like your bottom hardly gets off sofa. She used to feed for 15 min every hour.

Are they absolutely sure? My DD had a posterior tongue tie which was initially missed even by the breastfeeding specialist/lactation consultant MW/whatever they call themselves, who had performed her anterior TT snip

5 weeks later the osteopath spotted it!

Smaller babies can have a harder time getting a good mouthful simply because their mouths are small! My dd had trouble opening wide because of forceps delivery . But eventually she grew and her mouth grew and the feeding problems just sorted themselves out.

Another curveball.... silent reflux? Can cause no end of constant comfort feeding to soothe the burning pain in their throat. Reflux usually kicks in around 2 weeks old and gets worse if untreated. Keep an eye out for other symptoms

www.reflux.org.au/information/common-characteristics-of-reflux/

Mine never stopped either to the point that I felt like crying. I found the nipple shields really tremendously useful. Otherwise would have definately given up.

Midwives are in general pretty awful at diagnosing tongue tie. Cluster feeding at two weeks is very normal but I'd be inclined to seek out a breastfeeding support group to check all is well. And be cautious about nipple shields - without the I couldn't have fed DS1 who was poorly at birth but they can reduce supply so I wouldn't start using them without speaking to a breastfeeding support worker or lactation consultant first.

It can be so so so hard. At 2 weeks I was crying through feeds, dreading each one. By 4 weeks it was bearable. At 2 months I’d just stick baby up me jumper and not give it another thought. Hang in there, you are doing so well and it gets easier and more lovely. Xx

As others have said it’ll get better. My first 6w were spent thinking what was I doing. The 6w crisis was the end of the world but everyone insisted “it does get better” and guess what ! 7.5m and it did get better :) were still bf and loving it more than ever. Trust your instinct and in your worse moments keep taking one day at a time

Just to echo all of the above-
It DOES get easier, you WILL get through this, it IS worth it... you and your boobs are doing magical things!
Well done and keep going x

Yep pretty normal for that stage. It feels like constant feeding and you spend all day with one boob out or the other. Just go with it, it will get better and your nipples do toughen up after a while honest. Babies do this when they need your supply to ramp up so just go with it and don't expect to get out or do much until it subsides.

Get the purple cream! I have a ten week old who has reflux and always wants to be on my boob so it's still hard but my nipples don't hurt anymore so it's much more bearable. I did cave and give him a dummy at 7 weeks which has helped. Keep going, you're doing great x

8 times a day....bahahahaha. At least 12, if not more. Stick in. If you're having pain though get specialist bf support from someone who isn't your midwife

If you can get Multi-mam nipple compresses they are amazing for healing and taking the pain out of it too

It's really bloody hard, that's why so many people stop. Midwives aren't necessarily all that good at breastfeeding advice in my experience - 8 feeds a day is an example of this. As baby gets bigger feeding becomes more efficient and thus less time consuming, but it takes a while to get there. Sometimes you will feed all day, nothing 'gets done' but remember that you're growing a tiny human all by yourself - pretty bloody impressive! Keep going for as long as you want to, and remember that 'toe-curling' and 'grin and bear it' were written by breastfeeding mothers. It will get better, you're not alone, well done, xx.

My 7mo still doesn’t have just 8 feeds a day! Hang in there, OP. My baby was the same (aren’t all ebf babies?); the worst aspect was having my confidence constantly undermined by the wildly varying opinions of health professionals and people on the internet, then worrying I was doing it wrong. I wasn’t. Newborns can feed almost constantly. Bf is hard, and super draining, like a marathon that nobody told me to train for at first, but it’s worth the struggle, and once you get into your stride it’ll be so much easier. I wish I’d had a sense back then of how normal the constant feeding was - I’d have stopped worrying and asked my partner to do more stuff around the house while I enjoyed the baby.

I thought they meant "at least 8."

Lansinoh cream is your best friend.

Oh god yes it's hard. Nipple shields, lanolin cream and just resigning myself to feeding when she needed fed was the only way to get through it. By 3-4 months she was a bit bigger so she could open her mouth wider and didn't chew on me.

There were days early on where I just didn't even get dressed cos it was more effort than it was worth.

I ebf until about 6-7 months and continued bf until just over 13 months when she had gone to one feed in the morning. You can do this!

Just take it day by day.There was times i wanted to give up.But i kept going.It is tough but it does get better i promise

DS2 has been 2nd centile and below form birth (6m next week). He fed 20+ times a day, even after a tongue tie snip. Even now I counted 13 feeds 7am-7pm the other day. Difference is they last 10-15 mins max. He may still be small but he’s doubled his birth weight like they want him to, and he’s happy and healthy.

It’s nearly broken me at times but it’s the way some babies are. If you’re sure you want to stick with it, do get a tongue tie checked by a qualified professional but be reassured you’re not alone.

The myth of them going hours during the day isn’t everyone’s experience. You’re doing a great job.

I expressed and topped up with formula due to a rubbish supply and health issues for DD when she was born but I do know what you mean about low weight. DD was born at 5lb 1oz and was 4lb 10ozs by the time we took her home. All she wanted to do was feed and sleep (more than your average baby) and this could be every 45mins at some point. Now at 12 weeks she's 11lb 7ozs and stable on the 25th percentile. She's also really quite long already so has done lots of growing. It was really hard for the first 4 weeks but gradually she fell into a routine and could go longer spells. She still prefers little and often and will regularly have half a bottle, a break and come back for more. The consultant did say that some babies are just pre programmed to be born smaller and then feed lots to gain weight post birth.

Not much more advice I can add, PP have covered it. But I can offer words of support and to say that I found it got much better after 2 weeks, and by 3 weeks it was great!!

I got some gel packs from boots that I found useful, can put in the fridge but also warm them up. They were great!

My dd was still having 8 feeds in 24hrs at 11 months! Was 13 average from 3 month's and way more before that. Stick with it, use lansinoh cream and settle down with a box set. Make everyone wait on you too. Congratulations!

Oh OP. I hear you. My baby is 8 days old and was born at 5lb8 at 38 weeks. Hence my being up at half 3! I cried all over DH earlier but I really want to keep going.

Congratulations! I agree with everyone that this is the hard bit to ride out, and you're doing brilliantly. It may well be worth getting to a specialist breastfeeding support group if you can - the NCT runs a good one near me. Specialist lactation consultants do give different & helpful advice, and feeding a small baby comes with its own issues. My baby was 6lb2 at birth but also ill and very sleepy, and tips on positioning & breast compressions helped me keep her feeding when she was falling asleep too soon. Plus they spotted a tongue tie and I think getting that snipped helped a bit.
Definitely do as little as possible other than feed the baby - this is your job for now, and one day you'll notice it's got easier. May that day be soon for you!

I have a 6 week old preemie who is hungry all the time (and gaining weight at 3 times the rate the paediatrician said he should so he must be feeding a lot).
I second nipple shields and multi-mam.
Have you tried feeding lying down? I’ve also found that putting him down immediately after he falls asleep often wakes him up after five minutes and he feeds for another long while and then sleeps longer. Because he’s little it seemed like he didn’t have the energy to feed as long as he needed in one go.
Also, he can latch properly but after a minute he seems to let the nipple slide out a bit and it starts to hurt, especially if I don’t notice straight away. Maybe something to keep an eye out for.

At 2 weeks my left nipple started to bleed so for 3 days i would express out of that one while she was asleep, feed it to her when she woke up and then feed her the right boob when she had finished the bottle.

It is hard and it gets easier when they start being more interested in the world about 8 weeks as there is more to do than sleep and feed you get less time on the boob