To be annoyed at CF mum sending through her Xmas list

[sickmumma]

Even though she has no intention of buying for any of us and hasn't for a few years now....

Got an email through today, CC'd me my brother, Nan and aunty a list of about 20 gifts (not anything super expensive to be fair) of what she would like for Xmas, names, shops and prices on.

I feel like she's being a massive CF - considering the fact she doesn't buy anything for the kids let alone us. Like literally nothing, not even £1 on a tube of smarties (which DC would be very happy with)

She says she has no money - yet has enough to smoke 20 a day and a bottle of wine a night! Takes money, holidays etc quite happily from Nan and DBrother and will ring me crying she has no food to last the end of the month. I have tried various times to help her budget but she declines (probably due to the fact she doesn't want to own up to how much she actually wastes on booze and fags) she works part time and her other half works full time, they live in a very cheap area of the country.

Sorry for the rant just so fed up that she expects from everyone and gives nothing back in return (not even material things just time and help)

I would send her a list of presents the children would like.

I'd reply with a list for your family, with shops, prices etc. Play her at her own CF game.

Just send back ‘let’s call it quits this year, no need to buy for us and we won’t for you’.

Just send back ‘let’s call it quits this year, no need to buy for us and we won’t for you’.

I agree with this/\

I like the idea of sending her a similar list.

I'd reply with a list for your family, with shops, prices etc. Play her at her own CF game.

^^ This

Oh just ignore it! Send her a card and be done with it

She doesn’t worry about what you think of her, why bother thinking about what her opinion of you is!

I'd reply can't afford this year don't worry we don't expect anything of you due to
This

Yes, I would just reply that you aren't giving out gifts this year but don't expect any either. Send a nice card and good wishes.

Very grabby! And childish? Like something a 10 year old would do, with their 'wish list'.

Don't buy anything- or like pp said, send her a list back with gifts you'd like for the kids!!

She is indeed a CF. As suggested, send her your list.

Do adults do that?! I’d totally ignore her to be honest. I wouldn’t buy her anything either.

Just ignore her or tell to fuck off ...

Bloody helll, the sheer brass neck of some people....

I’d reply and say, oh I thought we weren’t doing gifts any more. If you have to really hammer the message home you could follow up with you’re sure she’ll understand you wanting to spend the extra money on your dc since she hasn’t been able to afford to these last few years.

She's never bought her grandkids anything, yet does a wishlist like a child herself? And gives you no time and help either? How awful and entitled.

You should tell her.

Just ignore it, don't even acknowlege it.

I'd reply with something like:

Hi Mum

We've decided to follow your lead in not buying gifts for family. I know you were ahead of the curve on this years ago, but we've finally caught up with your mindset.

Love

Sickmumma

Say nothing. Send her a Christmas card signed by everyone in your family.

When she complains, ask her what she bought your children.

My brother does this!
He sends out a wishlist around September. His birthday is close to Christmas so he has notes on this list for which event he wants the gift for!

He has never got me anything for my birthday (he's in his early 30s) and only ever sporadically for Christmas.

Last year, I said he didn't need to get me anything but here was his niece's (1 year old) "wishlist".

I got him a little something for Christmas but skipped his birthday for the first time in my life... and the CF didn't get her anything! He said he'd get her something next time we visited.

He's done the wishlist thing again this year. It's beginning to look a lot like grift-mas.

She lives 8 hours away (and at times like this I'm thankful for it!) so is no help to me, but she lives by my Nan 10 mins drive and is nothing but a burden on her despite my Nan being in her 80's. If it wasn't for the worry of hurting my nans feelings I would have gone no contact with her a long while ago.

I am glad others have picked up on the childish actions! She is like a immature teenager, very selfish and like I said no effort on her part. For example Nan wants to drive down (8 hours alone!!) to visit us, offers to pay for Mum to come too to see her children and grandchildren and also would be helping my Nan with the drive and Mum declines for no reason apart from she can't get it off work - Nan also offers to pay for anearlier flight back, then a week before has that week off yet in full still doesn't come?

I was tempted to send back a very expensive list or a no we aren't buying this year but again she would only get upset and say something to Nan and I don't want to upset nan and knowing what nan is like she would then give her money to buy presents which I don't want. No idea how Mum has ended up like this because Nan is honestly the most caring, kind and generous woman. I think she has spoilt Mum far too much and is needs to be a bit meaner instead of bailing her out all the time but Nan can't bare to see her suffer - she is also type 1 diabetic and plus on this with the no food card because she really needs to eat.

My brother one time brought her food shop (he was in uni himself) and she started adding wine and he said no so she said okay I'll buy it myself - but she said she had no money to buy food in the first place! This is the kind of thing she does 🙄

I wouldn’t be so polite, “why are you sending out a Christmas list when you don’t buy any presents for anyone else, not even the children”?

I’d just ignore it and send a card.

Send her a copy of the Argos catalogue with rings drawn round all the things you want.

Seriously, just ignore it and don’t buy her anything.

My mum will usually let me know what she wants, and then will tell me to tell my dad and brother what she wants from them, the way she does it is a bit cheeky especially as she won’t rake requests from any of us! But at least she buys in return. And I don’t mind getting her something she’ll actually use, although it does take the magic out the whole thing!

I’d reply and say ‘oh we’re buying for each other now?! Great, the kids would like xxxxxxxx’