That I’ve got life ‘wrong’

[raspberryblueberrystrawberry]

I was a single parent when my kids were little.

I focused on them. Decided that I didn’t want to have step/blended families and just me was ultimately more stable.

But they leave home.

I was wrong, wasn’t I?

I’m sure you haven’t got life “wrong”! I’m sure everyone feels like this sometimes May I ask how old you are?

What leads you to think that you were 'wrong'?

You put your kids first. As a parent, that’s doing life right!

But now they’ve moved out, what’s stopping you dating again?

I’ve never dated. I wouldn’t know where to start (have tried online but it’s just not for me.) I have no opportunities to meet anyone and I don’t feel like I’ve got anything to offer a relationship.

But they leave home.

I was wrong, wasn’t I?

I don't understand. Did you put them first thinking they'd never leave home?

Not wrong at all. I’ve made a similar choice.

I think you do understand butchy.

I think you were right. If I were a single parent I would do the same.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

40

Do you have friends OP? Hobbies? Etc maybe you’ve put your while live on hold? As oppose to just your relationship status?

You're hardly on the scrap heap at 40! You have your kids raised and can now live life for yourself - you're in a fantastic position.

And there goes the greatest cliche! Life begins at 40

You haven’t don’t anything wrong but for the first time in your adult life you’ve got the chance to focus on yourself and put yourself first - that’s both exciting and terrifying

I think you do understand butchy

Nope, as I say, it was unclear to me what you meant. But never mind.

You absolutely did the right thing as did I. Now you have peace of mind knowing your kids had a great upbringing without an abusive stepdad in their lives. Just check out all the step and blended families on here, it's nothing but abuse and horror stories. I've never understood why so many single mums feel the need to drag a man into her kids lives.

Damn autocorrect ‘whole life on hold’ not ‘while live’

40? You're a spring chicken! Now I did life 'wrong'. I'm older than you, with a 7 and 2 year old, and a somewhat wobbly relationship. From my POV you look to have made far better choices.

But then, we always judge ourselves more harshly than other people, partially because we only see the 'outside' of other people's lives I think.

It all depends how you look at things. I dated and did everything singld people in their 20s can - travelled, built a good career, made money etc
Met my now husband just before I turned 30.

I didn't realise you can't have it all. Started ttc in my 30s. One ivf baby late 30s, now desperately trying for another. I feel I got life wrong too!

What was wrong with online dating?

I am 45 years young, started running, lots still to learn and do if it wasn't for my pesky DC with at least another 10 years to go!

My mum only started her career in her late 40s after we had left, hopefully your kids are happy and well rounded after the love and support so you are free to discover wonderful things 

Plenty of time to meet someone, if you wish to. Online is an option, if you keep your wits about you for the muppets. Met DH online at 52.

Take up new hobbies and make friends that way.

You didn't get life wrong.
You did the right thing for you and your family at the time.
It's Friday night, the weekend stretches in front of you and you sound lonely.
I started again at 59 and become comfortable with my own company.
There are ways to join groups and make friends if that's what you wish for.
I've never tried OLD, but like spongebob said, you can do that And keep your wits about you.
Don't feel lost, you can make a life in between the children's visits.

You're only 40 you've got your whole life still ahead of you. Positive mental attitude.