To have cleaned the bathroom??

[Drivenmad80]

We are currently staying at mil house while we have some building work done. I had a shower this morning and noticed that the shower head was grim with limescale. So I've cleaned it and cleaned the bathroom. My dh has had a right go! Saying his mum will think I think she's dirty and what not (I'm closer to her than my own mum, we get on great) I thought I was being a nice house guest?????

I would have cleaned it, too, because I can't deal with a manky bathroom. I'd have to restrain myself from cleaning the whole house if it were dirty as well. Does your MIL even know you cleaned it?

I can see both sides of this. I reckon it depends what your MIL’s standard of cleaning is normally like but she will probably be very grateful, very embarrassed or will have expected you to chip in with housework etc as you are staying in her house. It’s hard to know without more information category she’d fall into, especially since you and your DH don’t agree over it either.

It depends whether you made a big song and dance about doing it.

How did he even know you’d cleaned it?

Tricky one. Cleaning a manky shower head ( I understand why you did ) is different to mucking in by doing the washing up or putting the rubbish out or giving the lounge a quick hoover round.

Hopefully she won't be offended.

I tend to agree wth your DH, I think it was a bit rude.

I mean she's letting you live there effectively whilst the building work is being done. Surely that involves treating her house as home and in your home you do your fair share of the house work! It would be rude not to surely?

Tidy another part of the house, i.e do some hoovering and just say you wanted to repay her kindness by chipping in. That way it doesn't look like you specifically cleaned the bathroom because it was grimy.

Say you always clean the bathroom on a Friday. Then do a room a day to keep up the pretence.

YANBU My MIL has 5 DC, who all now have families of their own. The rule is you clean the shower room after you use it as she was fed up of years clearing up after them. I would also be delighted if you cleaned my bathroom as a house guest.

Does your DH ever clean the bathroom and would he have objected to you cleaning your DM's bathroom?

Do you want to come and stay at my place... I woudn't be offended!

Come and stay at mine.

It’s polite to clean something after you have used it.

I wouldn't be offended... I would be embarrassed at not cleaning the bathroom before visitors came! Also, she's putting you up while you have the builders in, I'd think the least you can do is pitch in with the cleaning. Just offer to whip the hoover around and do some ironing or something so she doesn't think you just thought the bathroom was manky!

I'd be delighted if a guest did this. Always supposing I noticed, of course.

Meh, tell DH to tell her he did it, then she can be delighted with her clean bathroom and her helpful DS.

Oh and can you pop around and have a shower at my house?

I stayed at in laws a couple of months ago and cleaned all the grout in the kitchen for them. DP was asleep, MIL working and FIL out doing charity work. Thought it was nice but reading this now I'm wondering if that's really rude They are self-confessed not great cleaners and MIL said it was nice but now I feel bad for doing it as if I was trying to make a point! I'm not the cleanest person in the world I just genuinely enjoy scrubbing grout

I think it's a nice thing to do, but I can also see how it could be taken to mean "your house isn't clean enough for me."

It makes a difference how long you've been staying there. Cleaning it on the first or second day might be a bit iffy, but cleaning it after you've been there a week has more of a "pitching in and helping clear up the mess I've helped to create" vibe.

OP, if I promise not to take offence, do you want to come round and clean my shower?

I don't think I could be anything but grateful at someone helping out with the cleaning while staying/living here.

She probably won't notice. When I'm at my brother and SIL's house I sometimes do sneaky jobs like wipe down the cupboard doors or wipe an inch of dust off the top of their picture frames.

They never notice because they just don't see jobs like that. We all have blind spots -in my case I have a shower head that's absolutely encased in limescale, so if you're looking for a place to stay in East London...

I recently had an invitation to stay at a place that someone was housesitting for a friend. Luckily I couldn't get the time off work because I would have bottomed the whole place, bleached everything and no doubt caused a huge amount of offence. I'm no Mrs Hinch but I do have my own mediocre cleanliness standards and that place was grimy!

But yes, maybe clean something else so it just looks like you're helping. It's polite to help out if someone is doing you a favour by putting you up

Would you be posting miffed if she had cleaned your bathroom?

It's really interesting to hear all your opinions!! She's really clean it's just that she always uses her en suite so the shower we used isn't used much so props gets left. I think I try too hard to a good house guest! I hoovered as well 😂

@Santaispolishinghissleigh no I'd be pleased!!

There's a world of difference between

"FGS, MIL, your bathroom was so skanky that I had to clean it myself!"

and

"I cleaned the bathroom because we've been using it and I don't want to make extra work for you. Thanks, MIL, for letting us stay with you so comfortably."

It's quite clear which one applies to you.

(PS would you like to come and stay here...? )

My MiL used to do this and I hated it. Mind you, she would brillo pad the bath etc. and leave it worse than before she started!

If it's a bathroom she doesn't usually use, she may never even notice. As long as you were careful, I'm sure it will be fine.

Ynbu. Do you want to stay with me? 😬