To have cleaned the bathroom??

[Drivenmad80]

We are currently staying at mil house while we have some building work done. I had a shower this morning and noticed that the shower head was grim with limescale. So I've cleaned it and cleaned the bathroom. My dh has had a right go! Saying his mum will think I think she's dirty and what not (I'm closer to her than my own mum, we get on great) I thought I was being a nice house guest?????

@DrivenMad80

Not gonna lie. Although you meant well, what you did would have fucked me RIGHT OFF, if someone has tootled into my house and started cleaning it. I would think it very rude and presumptuous and would not be happy.

My ex-MIL's house was filthy and her son inherited her slovenly habits. I would re-wash anything I was going to use - all her glasses were smeared with grease. Her bathroom was beyond - she didn't see it! She lived near a holiday destination and sometimes had overflow B&B guests. If was around, I'd scrub her house from top to bottom because I was so ashamed. She had numerous guest depart on viewing accommodation and lack of facilities - making up ridiculous excuses about re just heard about sick cats, granny etc. Some even paid her! She'd lay it on thick about being a poor, lonely widow.

I'd be a bit annoyed too, there's no way it doesn't have an undercurrent of implying the host isn't clean enough however will meant it is.

It depends, sounds like you are close to her. I often help MIL when we stay over, she has a disability so I'll scrub the shower doors etc just pretend I gave it all a quick wipe down She was always very house proud and is not as able anymore.

I would clean it but not mention it.

@LavenderBush

It makes a difference how long you've been staying there. Cleaning it on the first or second day might be a bit iffy, but cleaning it after you've been there a week has more of a "pitching in and helping clear up the mess I've helped to create" vibe.

The fact that the OP said this:

We are currently staying at mil house while we have some building work done. I had a shower this morning and noticed that the shower head was grim with limescale.

suggests that it was nothing to do with them staying, and pitching in to help. She clearly thought the bathroom was not clean enough for her, as soon as she got there.

I think it is very rude. There are very few things more rude, than someone thinking they know what's best, and insisting on doing things for you, that you never asked them to do.

In real life, the posters on here who claim they wouldn't mind, and are saying 'can you come do MY bathroom,' would be pissed off. I think anyone would if someone came to their house and started cleaning it. How rude.

I have felt a bit offended on the past if my mum or mil has done anything bar a bit of washing up. Just makes me feel like I can’t cope in their eyes

I've never met anyone who would notice if I took a bit of limescale off their spare shower head.

And people may have done it to my shower - I would never notice.

I would get offended if they started going on about how gross it was before they cleaned it.

Well the outcome is. Mil isn't offended in the slightest! She couldn't care less in fact 😂 it's not like I'm going round with a pair of white gloves looking for dust. The house is spotless it was just the lime scale on the shower head.. and I thought while I'm doing that I'll give the rest a wipe down.

Trust me I've travelled a lot and stayed in some grim places in my time so I am not a cleaning snob by any means!!

Thanks for your input all. I will show it to dh xxx

My dh has had a right go! Saying his mum will think I think she's dirty and what not (I'm closer to her than my own mum, we get on great)

He is mad. It may have been a bit odd if you were just visiting but as you are staying there, it's highly likely that she either won't notice at all or if she does, will simply think you are just being reasonable and cleaning the bathroom you are using!

Your husband is being oversensitive!

Why was your DH so mad?!

For those who would be offended by guests giving the bathroom they've been using a good scrub - do you never offer to help out with housework when you're a guest in someone's house and creating extra work/mess for them? I always strip the bed, empty the waste basket, give the surfaces in there a quick wipe down and clean the bathroom before I leave. While I'm there I'll help prep food, do dishes, whatever I can to contribute, I just feel it's a nice way of showing my appreciation for their hospitality.
And, if you keep things reasonably clean anyway, how would you even notice if they gave it more than a once over? If anyone does notice a vast difference when someone else has cleaned they should be embarrassed. I think it's rude to have guests stay in conditions noticeably dirty enough for them to feel they need to clean beyond courtesy helping out.

For those who would be offended by guests giving the bathroom they've been using a good scrub - do you never offer to help out with housework when you're a guest in someone's house and creating extra work/mess for them?

This wasn't what the OP did though, the limescale build up wasn't caused by her staying there, it was something that existed before she got there so not comparable imo. But it's academic now as the MIL is happy.

I would simply say to mil, oh I had a shower and left the bathroom in a mess so gave it a clean so hopefully she won't feel offended even if it is a white lie.