To have replied yes to this..

[Boohissmiss]

I was out shopping today and a lady asked me if I was pregnant. I was so shocked and hurt as I’m not . But I replied yes as I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by correcting her that I’m just fat. I should have just said I wasn’t shouldn’t I ? Instead of having a full conversation with her about it . Anyway I found a toilet and had a little cry. It’s the kick up the bum I needed really to make me realise it’s time to lose weight.

You wanted to spare the feelings of someone who asked you if you were pregnant when you aren’t? That’s bizarre.

General rule - Don’t ask anyone if they are pregnant, even if it’s blidly obvious because the baby is coming out of them

Your answer to her question really doesn't matter. What does matter is how you feel about yourself, and it's clear you are very upset over your weight. As you said, this can be pivotal moment for you to take control of your health and I hope you do.

I was asked if I was pregnant when I was out with my 5 day old baby, not the same I know but I was so heartbroken! Who are these people! I have never asked someone if they are pregnant! It makes me so angry!

My exmil told me I was still fat.. Ds was a fortnight old!
Some people just have no filter.

Hidilyho yes I know it’s a bit bizarre . I’m socially awkward at the best of times . She was a lovely old lady and I was put on the spot.

I think the op probably said yes as its more embarrasing to say oh no im just fat. i wouldnt have lied personally incase i bumped into her again.

So sorry to the others this has happened to and thanks aquamarine I hope it can be a positive thing in the future.

I used to get asked fairly frequently as a very skinny teenager. I guess I must have had a slight bit of muffin top. Now I’m much bigger all over no-one ever asks!
I totally get being caught on the hop and agreeing though.
My cousin is fairly large and gets offered seats on crowded buses which she accepts while stroking her belly 😂

Bumsexatthebingo your cousin sounds amazing😂

I got offered a seat on a train as someone thought I was pregnant.

Now, I was glad to have the seat as I have a condition which means I can't stand for long. But I didn't wear that dress again.

I have heard a man say 'better a pregnant woman standing than a fat woman crying'

Some people should just keep quiet. My mother told me I had to lose weight whilst still in hospital after having my dd.

She told me I’d need to stop wearing ‘that size 16’ as you’re overweight.

Just what everyone new mother wants to hear whilst she’s stitches to keep her together and so very sore.

If you’re unhappy with your weight, it’s time to make changes for you.

I've had something similar a few years ago, I was in a shop in town and had my Kill Star dress that said "Born to raise hell" down the front, and they woman on the till asked when I was due, I must admit all the crap I eat goes straight to my stomach area so always look a bit pregnant, but this was the first time someone has ever commented on it. I was taken back by her assumption from just what was printed on my dress lol, I did feel insulted by it, and she did apologise for her comments. But people really do need to think before they say something like that at times.

Happened to me. Bumped into someone I worked with a decade ago & she was all “oooh congratulations” whilst gesturing at my middle. I just laughed and said “ no, I’m just fat”. She will certainly think twice before making that assumption about anyone again.
I did have a chat and then when we parted ways I had a little cry. Not least because after several miscarriages and now being peri menopausal my hopes of DC ever having a sibling are gone......and I’m obviously fat to boot!

One of my worst moment in my life was sitting in Creche at Church with my 6 week or so baby (and other children); and the "helper" asking me when the baby was due. I was breast feeding her at the time!
I find it very hard even now to forgive that person - and she is one of those who often feels hard done by/insulted herself. Yes she's had a tough life but that thoughtlessness was something I didn't need.

There's nothing wrong with what you did. She's a perfect stranger and she's neither here nor there. She asked an inappropriate question and you decided to spare her blushes by saying yes which makes you kind.

It wasn't the only answer you could have given but it was your answer and I might well have done the same to get out of a socially embarrassing situation for you both (and then been even more embarrassed when I would inevitably have got embroiled in making up due dates and potential baby names as the conversation continued!)

Take what you want from the conversation - if it's a kick up the bum to lose weight then fine, if it's a resolution not to engage with chatty old ladies in town then fine, if it's a resolution always to tell the truth and damn the socially awkward consequences then fine also.

Don't make the conversation a bigger thing than it needs to be - it's your choice to do what you want to with the exchange.

Yep, happened to me in my local hairdressers when I was standing funny. I was mortified!

OP, as a PP has said, what matters is how you feel about yourself. Sometimes it takes an event like this to make us take stock and make some changes. I was considerably overweight and knew I had to do something about it, but just didn't have the willpower or motivation. Then my teenage daughter, who had concerns about her own body shape (which I'd brushed off because she wasn't hideously overweight) wrote me a letter in which she poured out her feelings and described how depressed she felt. That was my 'event' and we both signed up to Slimming World in April. She's lost a stone since then and I've lost over 2.5 stone. You say this was your 'kick up the bum' so I hope a positive comes out of this upsetting situation for you. Good luck x

A woman I worked with who had a reputation for being a vile bitch, waited until the office was full of people to say to me 'oh, I understand congratulations are in order'.

Me - .

Her - (with smug bitch face) Oh I thought you were pregnant!

I couldn't help laughing out loud and said... god your eyesight's bad love. I wish I was, I could do with some mat leave!

Afterwards, quite a few people came to me and said I'd handled it well and they would have been very upset. That boosted my confidence I can tell you.

I was asked this early on while I was very anxiously awaiting amnio results and hadn't told anyone for that reason. Such an inconsiderate thing to ask.

Thanks everyone it feels good to know I’m not alone .

Boohissmiss this has happened to me more times than I can shake a stick at! Honestly. I've had people pat my tummy and ask if there is a baby in there. I've had a woman refuse to believe I was not pregnant.

If you want this to be the kick up the backside you feel you need, fine.

But personally I would not like about this. I would ignore total strangers comments. I would say normally just say "No, I'm not." And then as they gush apologies you can choose to say:
"That's fine."
or perhaps better
"This is why it's not a good idea to assume anyone is pregnant, because it has embarrassed you, but I'm fine, or if you prefer, and it has embarrassed me!

People need to know this shit is not on!

I was at an event one time with my new boyfriend of a few months and a man asked us both when it was due. I'd just eaten a dinner and was bloated. I couldn't even speak I was so shocked and embarrassed!!

thenightsky

Hidillyho "You wanted to spare the feelings of someone who asked you if you were pregnant when you aren’t? That’s bizarre."

bizarre (very strange or unusual)

IMHO There is nothing remotely bizarre about what the OP did. Nothing. Women are socialized not to embarrass people, and as an English person I am generally very apologetic. If someone treads on my foot, I say sorry.

I agree it 'seems' an strange thing to do in relation to the situation because it is not warranted but IMHO it is not a strange thing to do in relation to the way women are socialized.

I get asked at least once a month. I'm a size 12 but have horrid IBS and my stomach genuinly does look pregnant, so cant blame them. I either reply 'no, just fat' or embrace it and take the seat on the bus!

My ex congratulated an old school friend on her "pregnancy" once, she slapped him in the face! 😆

I've not had full on congratulations myself but I've been asked a couple of times, I say, "No I'm just fat." and try to laugh it off but it hurts. Particularly as I'd love to be pregnant and it's not going to happen.

My mother used to work as a nurse. About a couple of years ago, one of her patients asked her if she was pregnant.

My mother is 5'5'' and weighs about 140 lb. She is also in her sixties.

She replied, "Yes, with twins". She says she chose to think that it's because she looks so youthful!